My parents won't accept her caste - now what?

By Auntyji Tuesday, April 9, 2013 - 16:32
Q: I am in love with a girl who belongs to a lower caste. We really love each other but my parents will never approve our marriage. I am even scared to bring up this topic with them. I need your help Auntyji. Dipesh, Ghaziabad

Auntyji says… Jab pyar kia to darna kya. Pyar kia koi chori nahin ki, chup chup aahein bharna kya.

Dipesh puttar, I’m very sure you’ve heard this one before. Now don’t think that I’m making light of the situation that you’re in. I totally understand that you are going through a bad phase. The die-hard romantic that your aunty is, this one has always been her favorite song. Mind you it is not just a song for me, it is a principle that I proudly stand by. Talk to them Now I am assuming that you don’t care about castes or any such things. And you shouldn’t either. It’s something silly that the society has created around us, and needs to be defied, in my rather humble opinion. And I am 100 percent with you. And maybe so are your parents. Dipesh puttar, no matter how strict your parents are, they’re still your parents. Try and talk to them. Tell them how much you love this girl and that you want to marry her. No harm in trying. And who knows you just might convince them. After all, no parents want their children to be unhappy. Take a stand So wear your Nike sneakers and just do it. Your parents should understand that the times have changed. Caste and class no longer define people and their lives. However, if they don’t agree with you then lets get back to the drawing board. Betaji, if you are very sure about spending your life with this girl, then you’ll have to take a stand. I know it will be very hard for you to go against their wishes but such is life. I always tell all my children that if you must take a stand on something, then do it sooner rather than later. If you spend too much time humming and ha-ing, things will just slip away. Ruined marriages Now let me tell you the story of my niece who was madly in love with this boy and wanted to marry him. But her boyfriend was sure that his family wouldn’t approve of the match, so he never talked to them. Eventually my niece and that boy got married to different people. But they still think about what if they had stayed together. I don’t want you to spend your life with that regret. Needless to say, both of them were very unhappy in their marriages. The boy’s wife filed for divorce on grounds of impotency because they didn’t consummate their marriage even after a year. After that, he realized his mistake, and then he was hell bent to fix it. He convinced my niece to leave her husband and marry him. It took them time and two ruined marriages to really figure out what was best for them. Believe in yourself Dipesh puttar, I’m not saying that this is true for every case. But the key is if you are sure about something stand up for it when the time is right. It might not be very easy but believe me it will the best possible way to do it. Believe in yourself and have faith, I am sure everything will work out. Signing off on another romantic note. Ae Mere humsafar, Ek Zara Intezaar sun Sadaayein De Rahi Hain Manzil Pyaar Ki…

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