First time sex: what are your tips Auntyji?

Auntyji says... Swati puttar, kya baat hai ji. First time sex can be very exciting and very scary at the same time, not to mention sensual, embarrassing, awkward and fun. So I am glad that you want be ready for it.

It makes me so happy that sex is finally getting out of closet. Makes sense too, because the more we talk about it, the better prepared we will be for it. And as you know what’s natural is never vulgar. But I’m diverging from your question. Puttarji, my super simple advice to you would be to play it very safe, know what you’re doing and when in doubt, just take it slow.

Now we all know about safe sex. Condom is a definite must. Not just to avoid pregnancy but also to keep most sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) at bay as well. I know a lot of people insist that condoms take away from real pleasure, but don’t take their word. And if your boyfriend has any issues, feel free to use the female condom. I know it can be slightly cumbersome, but definitely worth it.

Birth control

Another thing you should think about. Now, condoms are a good method of birth control, they protect you from disease, and they’re easy to get hold of. But they are not as reliable as hormonal methods like the pill. So you should ask yourself, "How would it be if I got pregnant?" If your answer is "A total disaster!" then you should think about using another form of birth control as well as a condom.

Here you can read about different birth control methods. And for confidential help you can contact our good friends FPA India – you can find their clinic nearest to you on their home page.

Kissing and caressing

Now, finally my two words on how best to enjoy your experience. Now I am assuming that you already know how you actually have intercourse with him. What I can tell you is not to take things too seriously. It’s not just an act, it’s also an emotion and an experience. So savour every moment of it. You might fumble a bit, but you’ll learn a lot as well. It’s difficult to go wrong with a lot of kissing, caressing and touching. Remember there are many ways to make love.

Puttarji you might think of me as old fashioned, but truth is that one should have sex for the right reason and with the right person. When it comes to great sex, just like cricket, timing is everything. Worry not, there is no guesswork required here. Your body will tell you when the time is right and your heart will tell you who the right guy is. But even your diehard romantic aunty will tell you to run the decision through your head before you execute it.

Pain?

I’d say that don’t worry about experimentation and diversity of positions. Just relax and take it slow. Save a few moves for the second time as well.

You might anticipate some pain or discomfort, but with time and practice, you’ll ease into it. The main thing is to take plenty of time to get really, really aroused so your vagina is very wet before you try taking his penis inside you. The main reason for first time sex to be painful is if you are so nervous and distracted that you aren’t properly turned on, and your vagina tenses up. If need be, feel free to use a lubricant or ask your boyfriend for a time out.

Exhilarating

Well Swati, as long as you know what you’re getting into, there won’t be many unpleasant surprises. There might be some awkward moments, but this will be something you’ll remember for a lifetime. In fact I am slightly jealous because first-time sex is definitely the most exhilarating thing that I won’t experience again. Now I am not that naughty that I’d ask you for reviews, but do have fun puttar.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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