why can't I make a girlfriend
Shutterstock/Mila Supinskaya Glashchenko

Will 2020 break my sex upwaas?

Why has Vasu never been able to find a partner? Why has he never had sex? As the new year begins, Vasu tells us his tale, which is probably a kahani ghar ghar ki.

*Vasu, 28, works as a tax consultant in Delhi. 
 

I have a dream

When I joined college in Delhi, after spending 12 years at an all-boys school, there was just so much to see and do. More than anything else, there were girls - in flesh and blood -  who I saw laughing, eating and talking. 

Coming from a small town in Rajasthan, I felt as if I had stepped into heaven and angels were surrounding me. I had been carrying the burden of not having a girl in my life as far as I can remember! Especially since all my dost log started bragging about the girls they had kissed and the sex they had had or imagined!

So I started reading erotic magazines and occasionally watched porn. But that made it even worse, as it reminded me of my sexless life. 

As a padhaku boy, I had all the love and praise from my teachers and family. All I wanted was the soft touch of a female skin.
 

Beyond my understanding 

Now at college, I had full hopes but I was again stuck in a boys hostel and the pressure to study for a good job made me lose track of my sexual desires. And in no time even college was over. I still had no girl in my life. All the guys I knew had girlfriends whereas I was masturbating on lonely nights to put myself to sleep. 

After college, CAT and MBA took charge of my life and all my energy went in that. I was one of the seven guys from our college who were placed in a reputed taxing solution company. 

A moment of pride for everyone in my family. But I still lived with this huge hole in my life. 

It has been four years now of working and making a living. I have a good house, a healthy bank account, colleagues who respect me and friends who trust me, but girls...somehow yeh khaata khula hee nahi

I am not ugly or obese and I don’t make women around me uncomfortable in any way. The reason for me not having a partner in my life and for my sex-less life is beyond my rational understanding. 

Apna time aayega? 

My friends talk about Tinder and narrate their experiences of live-in relationships. I sit along with them for a few drinks and wonder how do they do all this and when will my time for sex come? 

My sex life statistics are worse than the numbers that I monitor at work. I started masturbating at 15 and 13 years on, I am still pleasuring myself. 

My parents are now after me to get married in 2020. They say I am financially stable, have a respectable job and am good looking (how come they see it but no girl does). So I should get married in the coming year.

When they ask me about my past relationships, I just smile and tell them that I was so busy with studies, career and work that I could not find time for a relationship. 

They have registered me on a wedding website and also put advert for matrimonial column in a newspaper. I am surprised at the number pictures of wanna-be-brides we receive every week. Where were all these women all these years? May be getting married will be the only way for me to break my sex-fast. At 28, that’s my only hope. 

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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Love Matters India is an online platform that provides reliable, science-based and fact-based information on love, sex and relationships. Please explore more stories here. For facts related to sex, check this section. 

 

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