Telling my girlfriend about my threesome fantasy
Mathew Valentine

Telling my girlfriend about my threesome fantasy

“Sharing my sexual fantasy with her has messed up our relationship,” says Varun. “I read somewhere that sharing your fantasies with your partner can bring you closer but it did the exact opposite in our case,” he says.

Varun (name changed) is a 27-year-old Language Trainer at a BPO in Bangalore.

Varun’s girlfriend of two years recently moved to another city for work. They have been trying really hard to keep their relationship alive and interesting.

 

From the beginning S and I have been very honest in our relationship. We know about each other’s past relationships and sexual encounters, we have spoken about people that we have been attracted to while seeing each other. So when I told her about a recurring sexual fantasy I’ve had I wasn’t expecting her to react so badly.

Sexually connected When she moved to another city for work we both knew that a long distance relationship would need a lot of work. The temptation to stray is just too high when you don’t see each other for months on end. So apart from visiting each other often and making sure that we speak to each other everyday, we had been trying to stay sexually connected. We used to sext each other regularly and have phone sex etc.

Then I read an idiotic piece somewhere about how sharing your fantasies with your girlfriend is a great way to keep the excitement alive in a relationship. I was totally convinced by the idea and the very next day I discussed it with S. She sounded excited about it so I told her a fantasy I had had for a while about a threesome with me, her and a common friend.

No respect When I was done telling her she fell so completely silent I felt she had hung up on me. And then she got insanely angry, she accused me of having a thing for the other woman in my fantasy. She refused to take my calls or reply to my messages for days.

When she finally returned my call she was going through another wave of anger. This time it was about how she felt that telling her about my fantasy meant that I wasn’t serious about her and I had no respect for her or our relationship.

Harmless? It took me a whole month to convince her that I didn’t want anyone but her. The really messed up bit was that I had proposed the sharing-your-fantasies idea because I was trying to make the whole long distance thing work. We’re fine now but I know she is suspicious about me and that other woman. She has started calling me so often that it feels like she wants to keep a check on me.

When I read about the idea it sounded so harmless but sharing my fantasy with her has messed up our relationship. Since she moved I haven’t fooled around with any one else and it’s bloody unfair to lose my credibility for something I haven’t even done.

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