Should I lose weight to please my boyfriend
Sergei Mironov

Should I lose weight to please my boyfriend?

“A few weeks ago I ordered pasta for lunch and he said, 'do you really think you should be having that?',” says Vanessa. “It’s my body and my decision,” she says. But she doesn’t think her boyfriend has the right to drop not-so-subtle hints about losing weight.

Vanessa (name changed) is a 28-year-old reporter in Bangalore.

When Karan and I stared seeing each other I was in the best shape of my life but then again I was also 25. I don’t think I have especially unhealthy eating habits but my body has changed in the past 3 years. The truth is that I’ve been eating much healthier than I used to but my weight has been fluctuating a bit.

InsultedI don’t think he realizes it but for the past three months Karan has been a very mean to me. For instance, he’ll suggest that I shouldn’t wear my favourite top because it’s too tight for me or repeatedly nag me about letting myself go every time I miss my Zumba classes.

A few weeks ago at a lunch with friends I ordered pasta and he said, “Do you really think you should be having that?” I felt very insulted, it was so awkward and the look of pity that my friend shot at me from across the table made it even worse. I might not fit into my old jeans comfortably anymore but I’m definitely not so overweight that I need to be constantly reminded to watch what I eat by him.

The perfect couple?All our friends think we’re the perfect couple but we’ve had our share of relationship problems. Last year he cheated on me with a girl from his office. We went through a really tough time for a while after that but in the end we got back together.

His dissatisfaction with my looks is making me angry and anxious at the same time. There are times when I feel like I don’t care if he doesn’t think I’m skinny enough. But then I start worrying that he has fallen out of love with me or that he is comparing me with that hot girl from his office. And so I haven’t been able to decide if I should tell him to stop with the bulls*** about my weight or work out manically to become so hot that he’ll forget about his stupid office fling.

Taste of his own medicineMaybe I should turn it around and give him a taste of his own medicine. I should start bugging him about the slight double chin that is starting to show on him or keep reminding him about his receding hairline. I want him to realize that he doesn’t look perfect either and that it didn’t matter to me till he started “watching my weight”. I cannot believe that after three years of being together and surviving everything including infidelity he is so shallow he can’t see beyond my waistline.

The photo doesn't show Vanessa.

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