A failed lesbian love story
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My failed lesbian love story

By Roli Mahajan Monday, April 7, 2014 - 16:41
“If we elope, we will be hunted down and beaten. We might love each other but our community will not understand this love,” says Kamini. From rural Haryana, Kamini and her lesbian partner had no choice but to give up their love and marry men.

Kamini (name changed) is a secretary at a private office in Delhi. 

I am getting married next month. I don’t want to but humaare paas aur koi option nahi hai (we don’t have any other option). My lover has already married the guy that her family has chosen for her. I wish we could be together, we had even thought of running away but khap panchaayats (local governing bodies) are a reality for us.

A 'current'


My family is from Haryana and I grew up in Najafgarh. I always liked dressing like boys and hated doing girly things. I did not understand why but neither did I understand why Madhuri Dixit had been my pin-up and Salman Khan did nothing for me.

I did not even understand why I had liked looking at this very pretty looking effeminate girl, Shyamli who had recently joined my workplace. We were both from the jatt community and lived around the same area, so soon we became good friends. It's just that when she'd touch me, I'd feel a current run through me.

Emotional to physical


I had no idea what this meant but I would feel restless at times. I think it must have been six months since she had joined office when she came to my place on my birthday. It was then that an innocent kiss on the cheek mistakenly landed on the lips and I wanted so much more.

Instantly we felt guilty. After that we didn’t speak to each other for a week. I read a bit about lesbianism and I knew that I needed to find out what Shyamli felt. I hadn’t realised the extent of my feelings for Shyamli until then.

A month from then, Shyamli and my relationship changed from being a strong emotional bond to a physical one too. Yes, we started to have a love story. I don’t know what was I thinking about the future then but I loved each moment with her that I just didn’t want to think about what lay ahead or what our families would say.

Exposed


Our families never suspected us of being anything but friends. Actually, they did not understand the concept of lesbians, after all we hadn’t until we had met each other. But happy times came to an end.

One day Shyamli’s mother noticed a hickey on her neck. She assumed that Shyamli was seeing a guy and that is when her father lost his temper. She was grounded for a month and  wasn't allowed to meet anyone. A rigorous search for a groom began and within three months from that day her marriage was fixed. 

Bizarre


The irony of this situation. Her mother called mine. She told her that Delhi is unsafe for girls and that working in these offices was getting them to mingle with guys and be misled (Behnna, behek jaavanngi). So Shyamli's mom suggested that my mom should find me a groom too. And she even suggested that I get married to Shyamli’s groom’s best friend. No one was aware about our love story. 

My mother, who wanted me married anyway as she thought I was just the right age, was happy to check out the guy and his family that Shyamli’s mother recommended. I didn’t want to get married but it was as if my opinion did not count. My parents liked the family and the marriage was fixed. 

Right now all I can say is that if it wasn’t my love story, I would probably laugh because it sounds so bizarre that someone is getting married to her lover’s husband’s best friend.

Do you have a love story to share? Being openly lesbian in India is hard. But if you know of any lesbian love stories with happy endings, do share by commenting below or on Facebook

 

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Comments
someone dear
Mon, 05/18/2015 - 13:29
your story had a fantastic ending, your lovers husband and his best friend were bisexual, they introduced you two to sex without knowing your past and then all were happy and lived happily ever after. I am a bisexual.
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