Auntyji says, ‘Arre beta, in the movies, I have even seen a hero use just one hand to stop a bullet and aliens arriving on earth. Now you don’t believe all that, do you? Then why this'?
Look left and right
Beta Harkirat, you have raised a wonderful point – where do young people such as yourself get information on sexuality from? Chalo, you are lucky, you found us – Love Matters India. Lekin your dost, yaar? All mixed up ideas, from all kinds of movies, TV and reality shows – where the only thing real is the TV set, but not everything you see on it.
Not quite right
So beta, let me dispel the puking lady = pregnant myth. See we are so ashamed of sex that even a bare mention of it makes us embarrassed. Hence, we describe it in all kinds of metaphors. This being one of them, old and popular. Arey, a girl may be puking because she has a hangover – too much drinking – again a bad idea in itself – but not pregnant!
Also, images like this make us believe that every woman/ man’s body is the same and will react the same. If a man sees a young sexy thing, in a deep cut blouse – basssss – the girl has to be harassed!
If a pregnant heroine (like Preity Zinta in Salam Namaste) says she wants to eat a particular flavour of ice cream or a saas saying, beta, bahu ka to khatta khane ka mann ho raha hoga because she is pregnant, do you assume all pregnant ladies behave this way?
Let me tell you, that is not always the case. Not every woman has the cravings or feels like eating tangy foods in pregnancy. Same way, not all woman who vomit are pregnant – samjhe?
For fun sake
So, where should you get your information on sex from? Let’s rule out the one and only encyclopaedia on sex – porn – right now. Yes, porn may be fun but it’s neither real nor realistic. So please you boys, don’t set yourself and your standards so high that you will be able to achieve even an iota of what the porn industry portrays. No, you won’t beta. Porn is no where near to the real experience. So let’s get real.
Maze key liye porn is ok but if you think that is how sex happens and this is how perfect the women or men’s bodies are or how relationships are made – arre nahin re!
Elephant in the room
Years have gone by and we still don’t have a common school curriculum on sexuality education – do you know why? Because the adult population fears that if you young people are told about sex, you will just start ‘doing it’.
Clearly, they do not know that – that you may already be doing it.
Wouldn’t it be so much better if you had the right information, the right inputs so that you make some informed choices? Aisa to hai nahin that young people are pyar mein andhe that they will jump into sex in any and which way they can. They do use their brains in exams and in other life choices – don’t they? So why the mistrust about sex?
Lean on me
Depend on books, websites and articles – get your information sorted and I tell you – there is a lot of fun stuff out there for young person’s such as you and your pals to lap up.
Ab hume hee dekh lo. Ask in forums and boards. Seek information – critique what you hear – don’t fall for myths and the infamous ‘you know what I heard’ or anything beginning like that. It is going to be fictional, I can tell you! Being terrified about sex and bodies will not keep you safe but getting and finding the right information will. Go do it.
*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.
This article was first published on November 6, 2018.