Ankit* is a graduate student at Delhi University.
Caught red-handed
It was late in the evening and my parents had gone to walk. I returned home from college and went to take a bath while my brother was busy playing games on the computer which was kept in our room. I forgot to take my vest and returned from the bathroom to my room. And there was my brother, with his penis in his hand and eyes glued to the porn running on the monitor.
I was shocked looking at him and he hurriedly pulled up his pajamas and turned off the monitor. I came close to his seat and switched on the monitor. I told him to watch the remaining porn that was buffered and also asked him to wrap up his masturbation session and I then went back to bathe.
History sheet
Later that night I asked him since when he was watching porn and masturbating. He was five years younger to me and was in class ninth while I was in the first year of college. He told me that he had been masturbating once every other day for the last six months because he didn’t have any other thing to do with his rising desire to have sex. I knew what masturbation was and had been doing it since I was 13. And my brother was 14. It made sense.
Big brother speak
Being elder to him by five years, I felt the need to talk to him more about his growing desires and flowing hormones. You do what you want to do but don’t get caught by father or mother, I told him. He asked whether masturbation was a bad thing. Just like you don’t bath naked in front of other people and don’t go to the toilet when somebody watches you, the logic with masturbation is also the same. You masturbate privately when you want to and other people also privately masturbate if they want to do so. (For more information on masturbation, check out our video below)
No overdose
He understood what I was saying but he was still feeling that I had judged him for masturbating and watching porn.
So I gave him an erotic magazine that I had bought from the bus stand which I used to read at night before sleeping. He was embarrassed to see the magazine title Manohar Kahaniyan and cover picture that had a couple tightly embracing each other in the dark. So I left the magazine on his study table.
One week later he asked me whether I had some porn too. I obviously had porn but before giving it to him, I stopped. I asked him whether he had finished reading the magazine or not? I read it in two days, he said. I gave him some porn but also told him to not get addicted to masturbation because it is good only to a certain extent. Once a day works well and occasionally twice a day is also fine, but masturbating more than will take cost you time and effort that you can use for studying and playing, I told him.
He nodded and I gave him the pen drive that had porn in it. We never watched porn together but we knew we both were privately masturbating. We came close to each other and slowly the shame regarding this simple issue of self-pleasuring went away.
*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.
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About the author: Arpit Chhikara loves to read, write, draw and take long walks while listening to podcasts. Besides writing on various themes related to SRHR, he also works in the alternative education domain. When not at home, you can find him living in lesser-known places in India. You can check him on Instagram.