Saying no
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Why I said no to my marriage

By Roli Mahajan Sunday, May 7, 2017 - 11:27
Srinivas met a girl and decided to marry her. Soon after, his old friend called him. That call made Srinivas say no to the marriage. Read more to hear their unlucky story…

Srinivas is a 30-year-old banker from Kolkata.

Enough is enough!

My parents are worried about me. They think that I have already crossed the right age to get married and I might never be able to find the ‘right’ girl. They keep trying their level best to connect me to all the girls they know. They have exhausted the ‘rishtas’ brought by my chachis, mamis and tais. Now, matrimonial sites are their best bets.

Last year, when my mother approached me again with the idea of meeting a new girl, I refused. I really had enough of it. After all, life had to be more than just meeting girls. Sometimes I wonder why can’t things be easy for me and why can’t I find someone as easily as my friends have. I earn well, am above average when it comes to looks (girls have told me that) and I maintain my physique as I like exercising.

Luck by chance!

Anyway, at that time, there was just too much going on in my career. I couldn’t be bothered so I forgot all about my mother’s request. However, my mother was persistent. I woke up on a Saturday morning with my mother’s rant. “One of your friends have come to see you. She is already sitting in the living room,” she said.

The moment I got out of the bed and washed my face, my mother confessed the truth. She had invited Rashmi, the new girl she wanted me to meet. I was so angry at my mother. Why did she manipulate me so much?

I went out and I saw Rashmi. She was good-looking and seemed intelligent. We began speaking and my parents eventually left us alone. By the time our meeting was over, I was actually thanking my mother for the meeting. We made plans to meet again.

A new choice

She added me on Facebook. It almost felt like I had started a new cycle of events. We began chatting every day. I was almost beginning to like Rashmi and starting to dream a future with her.

A month later, I got a call from someone I hadn’t spoken to in 13 years. Avik was a strange guy and a bully from my school. We hated each other a lot. On the last day of my school, I had been pretty happy that we would never ever have to deal with each other. Thankfully, our paths had never crossed until that call. He told me on the call that Rashmi had been his girlfriend for more than eight years. My heart skipped a beat. I lost my confidence. I disconnected the call immediately and asked Rashmi to meet me.

I didn’t tell her the reason why we were meeting that day. We went for dinner and she kept emphasising upon her need to settle down as it would make her happy. Slowly, after discussing a few topics, I mentioned Avik’s name to her. Her face lost all the colour. I could instantly tell something was wrong.

A punch in my gut

Without letting me speak, Rashmi began admitting her story. She told me that she wanted to move on with Avik while he was not ready to let go. They were in a relationship for a lot of time and it didn’t work out well. She wanted to know what I felt about it.

I felt as if I had been punched in my gut. I didn’t mind a girl having a past but this was just too complicated. I told her that I needed time to think. She was really understanding. A few days later, I told her all about Avik and my relationship with him in school. I told her all the bullying I had to face because of his insensitive nature. One story led to another and we kissed. It was something.

Call me a coward

Later, back home, I was trying to make sense of whether kissing her had been wise or not. That night I could not sleep. I liked Rashmi but there was just too many complications. The two stories did not match; her story and Avik’s story. There was definitely something more that I wasn’t being told.

Avik and I had common friends. His parents were also friends with my parents. I was already beginning to think of the problems this relationship would cause. Moreover, I didn’t know Rashmi too well to take the risk.

Call me a coward but I said no the marriage proposal. I can give you a number of excuses why she wasn’t right for me but a large part of my heart asks what if she was the one? I just don’t know but all I can say is that I am not looking to settle soon. I am also trying to take work assignments abroad so that my mother stops putting me in such embarrassing situations. I hate to admit it but I took some time to get over Rashmi.

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