Auntyji says… Arre yaar, yeh toh big fix hai dear! Now, let’s see ki madam gets the point and you get your life back!
So beta first, as I always say, introspection! Are you very sure you haven’t raised her hopes in any way. You haven’t given the impression that you are still together? Did you both agree to break up?
The person who comes to the break up point sort of feels obligated or guilty for having done so. That is why you begin to overcompensate by being a little too supportive. Meanwhile everyone is confused about you two.
Waise beta you have written about your ex-gf, but this could be the other way around too. Boys are also pretty similar, I tell you! Woh koi kum nahin!
Ask her the right question
Now let’s see what she is doing, just a quick check out. Sometimes she texts you something sweet or funny. Sometimes she sends a friendship-cum-love text? Does she post pictures of you both hanging out or asks a little too familiar questions like old times? Does she still behave as if she knows everything about you? Like how much sugar to put in your coffee?
Kyun bhai kyun? Why is she doing all this? I tell you one thing puttar, ask her straight! Ask her and then get ready for a possible catastrophic response. You will either get a case of weeps or the icy wave from Tundra region! Kuch bhi ho sakta hai!
To know more about getting over your ex, read our do's and don'ts here!
Break the pattern
So now what to do? Sunn puttar, your time together has gone past! You have allowed her to get into a pattern, a habit again and that habit is you. So break it, dude.
I can almost see your eyes widening! Break it? Again? Not her heart silly, the pattern. Call her over, to a friend’s place perhaps, somewhere not intimate but private. Speak to her. List out what she is doing. How many hours you spend together and how you both are back to almost being in a relationship.
She may do the ‘Oh hang on dude... am so not into you’ act but, persevere. Be upfront and clear. That does not mean be severe, in fact be gentle and lay down some rules of engagement, henceforth.
Check yourself, mate!
The thing is sir, we all love attention. So do you. Not only she but you too have to break out of ‘taking care of her needs’ feeling. You have to let go being the big guy every time. Once you decide what those rules are, you have to walk the talk. You absolutely cannot dither and next day go back to the same old behaviour. Absolutely not! Get a grip and a master plan.
Why can you not hang out with her as much? What do you have on your plate? What is it that you are looking forward to doing and achieving but are not being able to? Tell her how you have changed. List it out, for her and mainly for you.
To protect the author's privacy, the person in the picture is a model.
Have you ever been in a similar situation as Bhavesh’s? Write your comments or queries on our discussion board or on Facebook.
Auntyji says… Arre yaar, yeh toh big fix hai dear! Now, let’s see ki madam gets the point and you get your life back!
So beta first, as I always say, introspection! Are you very sure you haven’t raised her hopes in any way. You haven’t given the impression that you are still together? Did you both agree to break up?
The person who comes to the break up point sort of feels obligated or guilty for having done so. That is why you begin to overcompensate by being a little too supportive. Meanwhile everyone is confused about you two.
Waise beta you have written about your ex-gf, but this could be the other way around too. Boys are also pretty similar, I tell you! Woh koi kum nahin!
Ask her the right question
Now let’s see what she is doing, just a quick check out. Sometimes she texts you something sweet or funny. Sometimes she sends a friendship-cum-love text? Does she post pictures of you both hanging out or asks a little too familiar questions like old times? Does she still behave as if she knows everything about you? Like how much sugar to put in your coffee?
Kyun bhai kyun? Why is she doing all this? I tell you one thing puttar, ask her straight! Ask her and then get ready for a possible catastrophic response. You will either get a case of weeps or the icy wave from Tundra region! Kuch bhi ho sakta hai!
To know more about getting over your ex, read our do's and don'ts here!
Break the pattern
So now what to do? Sunn puttar, your time together has gone past! You have allowed her to get into a pattern, a habit again and that habit is you. So break it, dude.
I can almost see your eyes widening! Break it? Again? Not her heart silly, the pattern. Call her over, to a friend’s place perhaps, somewhere not intimate but private. Speak to her. List out what she is doing. How many hours you spend together and how you both are back to almost being in a relationship.
She may do the ‘Oh hang on dude... am so not into you’ act but, persevere. Be upfront and clear. That does not mean be severe, in fact be gentle and lay down some rules of engagement, henceforth.
Check yourself, mate!
The thing is sir, we all love attention. So do you. Not only she but you too have to break out of ‘taking care of her needs’ feeling. You have to let go being the big guy every time. Once you decide what those rules are, you have to walk the talk. You absolutely cannot dither and next day go back to the same old behaviour. Absolutely not! Get a grip and a master plan.
Why can you not hang out with her as much? What do you have on your plate? What is it that you are looking forward to doing and achieving but are not being able to? Tell her how you have changed. List it out, for her and mainly for you.
To protect the author's privacy, the person in the picture is a model.
Have you ever been in a similar situation as Bhavesh’s? Write your comments or queries on our discussion board or on Facebook.