breakup depression
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Want to end my life after my break-up, help!

By Auntyji Friday, January 17, 2020 - 17:13
Hi Aunty ji, my girlfriend broke up with me. I don’t want to live anymore. What should I do? Karan, 22, Delhi.

Auntyji says, ‘Beta Karan, sunn puttar, let’s not rush into anything, ek gull taa sunn puttar!’ 

Never a good reason

Is there ever a good enough reason to end your life yourself. Na puttar!

You are just 22 –  life dekhi kya hai that you want to end it?  Karan puttar, do you know that worldwide – emotional stress, heartbreak and rejection are of the top reasons people even consider this as an option -  so say stats about suicide. 

Disappointment in love and breakups often make us feel – 'it is the end of the world for me! But we also know, it is not! Just take a deep breath.I can understand beta, that while you must be really hurting and very upset, remember, you are  not alone

Safe and secure

When we are in a relationship – we feel secure and happy – and that assures us a comfort, a cocoon of love and joy. Then that breaks and takes everything away – love, the comfort, the safety. We get thrown into a storm of emotions – jiske baare mein, you are the least prepared. 

You may feel that you can’t cope. This is how depression, confusion and rejection make us feel. ‘I can't face another day without my partner, I better just finish my pain by finishing myself.’ Not a good idea at all! 

Shelf life 

Do you know the term shelf life – like expiry date? Beta, harsh as it may sound, but the best relationships in the world come with one. Early in the relationship, its all very intense, but not all of them sustain – in fact most don’t. You are constantly changing, as is your gf/ bf. New influences come into our life, new people, new interests and we adapt and mould ourselves. We all are forever changing, forever evolving.

Ab us beech – she or any partner may change enough to want to opt out of the relationship – because it’s not giving them what they are looking for anymore. This could have have been you too, Karan. Suppose you had fallen out of love and wanted to move to Africa to serve in a camp, would you expect her to say, ‘I'll end my life if you do it.’ - Not quite so, yes? 

Controlling, not caring

Beta, attempting or contemplating suicide, or threatening to do it, is also a blackmail tool – its a method of control not care. ‘If you break up, Ill kill myself’. Is that fair beta? No its not. Do you want them to be terrified of you – or feel free and comfy with you? Is this not a sign of complete blackmail

She has left. Bad news, no doubt! But we want people to love us, be with us for who and what we are – not out of any fear or obligation – hain na beta? People ought to stay with us, pyaar ke marey, not darr ke marey!

A beautiful life awaits!

So come on now. Brace up beta! Go away for a few days, meet up with family and friends, tell people about your ex- love – but not too much either –  that can be really boring. 

Go follow some forgotten hobbies, join a class, look up ole pals you have missed for so long. Life is beautiful, full of surprises and shocks. Beta Karan, that’s a part of growing up. Embrace it beta. Chalo now, off you go! Listen to my favorite breakup song – 'Heer te badi sad hai ji..'.

In fact go watch the movie or call a pal over. Cry when the song comes, admire the gorgeous actors and locales, open a packet of chips or popcorn and brew a cup of adrakh chai... No quitting allowed. Ok beta?

*To protect the identity, names have been changed.

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Meri gf mujhse bhut pyar krti hai m bhi karta hu lekin kabhi kbhi choti c bat ko leke bhut jada suna deta hu jisse unne lgta h m unki respect n karta kuch n rha hamare relationship m mujhe bad m guilt feel hota h m jo bolta hu usko leke kaise manu smjh n aata m na chahkr bhi kbhi kbhi kuch jada bol deta hu unko kya kru plz ans do
Dev beta is baat ko toh aap dono hi thik kar sakte hain - baat chit kar ke - pyar se. Kisi bhi rishte mein pyar, vishwas, bharosa aur ek dusre ke prati respect bahut zaruri hota hai. Ise padh lijiye: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Devender Singh
Wed, 11/16/2022 - 08:46
Mere relation ko 12 sal ho chuke the Vo hsptl m kam krti hh Vo jb b mujhe cheat krti thi To mujhe feel ho jata tha Abki br b esa hi tha Vo cheat krri thi Or m bolra tha usko ki tu cheat krri Vo bolti rhi ki tu shk krta h Me tng aagi hu tujhse Fr usne btaya ki hn krri vo kisi se bat Or bola ki m tere sth khush ni reh skti Or chorke chli gyi Ab ek pal b ni ktra usk bina Bohht yd aati h uski Or merko hi blame kiya usne in sb chizo k liye Me kya kru Plz help me bohht tkliff m hu😭😭😭😭😭😭
Bete bahut bura laga sunkar, lekin aapko toh pata hai ki wo aapko cheat kar rahi thi, aur kisi bhi rishte mein bharosa, vishwas, ek dusre ke prati pyar aur respect hona bahut zaruri hai, jo aapke rishte me unki taraf se tha hi nahi, so, don't worry! Aur jab ek rishta ek makaam taka a ke ruk jaata hai, toh use phir shuru karna ya us per hee tike rehana shayed itnee samjhdaari nahin. Aage badhiye, naye kadam uthaiye, naye aur purane dost dhoondhiye, films, music, koi hobbies. Jaise ki unhone keeya hai. Apni zindigi jeene mein utar jaiye. All the best. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Rajesh Pachavane
Sun, 04/30/2023 - 17:02
Meri girlfraind kehati ki samjha karo time nahi hai gharme problem chalu hai.. Usne mujhe block nahi kiya abhitak to 21 din ho gaya to main kya karu
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