How first time sex affects your future

How first time sex affects your future

By Sarah Moses Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - 07:30
How would you describe losing your virginity? Whether it was positive, or less so, your first-time sex experience can say a lot about what your sex life will be like down the road, according to a recent US study.

If losing your virginity was relaxing yet exciting, and if you felt confident and proud afterwards, you’re more likely to have a positive and healthy sex life in the future, the study of over 200 undergraduate students found.

Physical and emotional satisfaction the first time you have sex is also important. If it felt good in both of these ways, it’s more likely your future sex life will get you off in every sense of the word.


How connected you felt to your partner really seems to matter. Feeling desired, respected, loved, and aroused makes a big difference when it comes to a happy sex life years later, the study found.

On the other hand, if you had a bad go of it and the experience was filled with negative feelings like pressure, nervousness, confusion, disappointment and regret, the chances are you’ll be less satisfied with your sex life later on. You may also have less sex self-esteem and think that good sex is not something you can control.

Men vs. women

It might come as no surprise that men tend to have more positive things to say about losing their virginity than women do. They were more satisfied physically and emotionally, and felt less anxiety than women did, according to the findings of this study. They also were more likely to have an orgasm when they lost their virginity.

In the study, students aged 18-22 were asked questions about losing their virginity and their current sex life. They had lost their virginity between the age of 12 and 22, and the time that had passed between then and the study ranged between a few months and seven years.

Future sex life

How can losing your virginity affect your sex life years into the future? People create what scientists call ‘sexual schemas’ – ideas about themselves when it comes to their sexuality. Losing your virginity can be such a big deal that it leaves you with deep feelings about yourself sexually that can affect how you have sex way into the future.

Does that mean that if your first time wasn’t the greatest experience your sex life is doomed? Definitely not. At age 22, the oldest participants in the study were still young adults, and on average they’d been sexually active for two years. So they still had many sexual experiences ahead of them. And though sexual schemas may be long lasting that certainly doesn’t mean they’re permanent.

How did you feel about your first time? Tell us on Facebook or anonymously here.

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