To each its own
I think one night stands are same for both men and women. Just like a man would want to be sexually engaged without strings attached, so can a woman. Independently, I believe it's to each one their own. Some people can live their lives comfortably that way and can spend years without being hurt or hurting someone. But I do believe it's not for everyone. There is always a chance of someone getting hurt. As long as both the parties know what they are getting into and are ready to face consequences, by all means, go ahead. For me, I don't fall for people in one night stands, but I do stay away from it as I don't want to take a chance of hurting anyone. Even by mistake.
Sameer, 28, social scientist
Drunken night, with regrets
I once had a drunken night when I woke up in bed with a classmate. We didn’t know anything about each other but our names. I went back home without taking his number and didn’t give mine either. But because we were classmates, we ran into each other almost every day. We never did properly talk, but for the rest of our days in college, there was always an awkwardness between us, which resulted in so much anxiety for me that I never ended up putting myself in that kind of a situation ever again. But hey, it works for other people, so good for them!
--Meenakshi, 32, teacher
Be upfront
For me, a one-night-stand depends on who the guy is. If I was friends with him before or had any sort of relationship before, then I treat them normally. But if it’s just someone that I met at a party or a or at a club, I try to not make it awkward. Just a smile and see where it goes from there. But I try to be upfront right from the beginning about what I want or don’t want. Just so that there is no hint of a confusion.
--Medha, 27, lawyer
Clear in my conscience
I've never had a serious relationship, and I’d rather focus on my career than being with somebody. If I get the opportunity to tell the girl, I always make it clear that I'm not looking for a relationship. I want her to be sure that there are no emotional strings attached to whatever we do or don’t do, and if she feels the same way, then we can go ahead. It doesn't always work as clear-cut as that, but at least I’m clear in my conscience. And I appreciate it if the girl I’m with tells me otherwise so that we can stop before we reach a stage where one of us gets off hurt.
--Abhinav, 27, software engineer
Want a challenge
If someone wanted to sleep with me without me knowing them at all, I would wonder if either they sleep around quite a bit or they're only interested in sex. I wouldn't be able to take the girl seriously after that and wouldn't be able to see myself being with that person. I want a challenge, and a girl for whom sex isn’t a big deal isn’t all that attractive to me. I feel that the girls should think the same thing about guys too!
--Sohail, 29, chef
Not a long-term practice
One or two one night stands don’t define who a person is. But, having said that, I don't feel like a woman who has had many one night stands would be someone I would be comfortable being with. I just think there is a time and place for everything. A one night stand is fine when you are young, but there has to be a point when you take a look at yourself and wish to settle down with someone long term. And these standards I keep for myself too. I would only sleep with someone if I feel my relationship with them is going somewhere.
--Amit, 31, businessman
*Names changed
*Persons in the picture are models
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