*Aniket, 22, is a student in Delhi University.
Lack of arousal
I was dating Sameera for last six months. We were friends with benefits. Our sex life was great fun but then things started to change a bit in the bedroom. The first time my ejaculation was delayed, I didn’t bother much. It must have been due to lack of arousal, I told myself. My girlfriend and I then took bath and had lunch.
No pleasure
The next week we met and had sex, the same thing happened. I could not ejaculate. We tried oral as well as vaginal sex but there was no progress. I could not feel any physical pain in and around my genitals but I knew that something was definitely not right with my body.
The whole act of sex did not give me pleasure as it used to earlier when I felt shivering sensations in my lower abdomen. My body was just numb. It had been a long time since I had ejaculated with her. While masturbating I could sustain my erection but the only fluid that I could feel the discharge of was sweat. It was time to see a doctor.
The diagnosis
How frequently do you have sex, the doctor asked. Twice or thrice a month, I said. He asked me about my masturbation habits and exactly what troubled me. Earlier when I used to masturbate, it took me no more than ten minutes, I said. But now that time has increased and two out of three times I can’t ejaculate even after rubbing my penis for thirty minutes.
From last two months, I am having difficulty in feeling pleasure and all that remains after sex is a used condom with a tiny bit of pre-ejaculatory fluid inside it, I told the doctor. The doctor told me that it was certainly a problem but not as much of a physical one as it was a mental one. After I told him about my work schedule and he inquired more about my lifestyle and habits, he told me what to do next.
Books and yoga
You have to keep yourself away from any sort of mental stress as much as you can, he said. Avoid any form of sexual indulgence and physical stimulation for at least two months. He also told me to not indulge in masturbation until the time I was psychologically healed. I asked whether any medication was needed and he told me to wait until two months before he could decide on that.
I came back home and did as he had told. I began waking up early and joined the morning yoga class in my locality. I reduced excessive use of phone and stopped continuously working on a laptop for hours. Instead, I started reading books. During all this time, Sameera was also concerned about me and we used to meet every week to talk and roam around in the city.
Couldn’t stop myself
I could not see any instant change happening to my body until the first month but my morning erections were getting harder than before. Then one morning I had an erotic dream and immediately woke up to find that I had ejaculated in my underwear. I called the doctor and discussed this with him. He was pleased to hear the details.
Two weeks after that, I could not stop myself from having sex and met my girlfriend. To my surprise, that evening I could feel the good sensations when we tried the missionary position. After a few minutes, I ejaculated. The used condom this time was full.
*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.
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About the author: Arpit Chhikara loves to read, write, draw and take long walks while listening to podcasts. Besides writing on various themes related to SRHR, he also works in the alternative education domain. When not at home, you can find him living in lesser-known places in India. You can check him on Instagram.