Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

My girlfriend talks to another guy – should I be jealous?

By Auntyji Tuesday, September 8, 2015 - 10:16
Auntyji, my girlfriend has begun speaking to this other guy. She tells me that he’s just a friend, but I don’t trust her. Should I break up with her? Please tell me. Gurinder (23), Ambala

Auntyji saysWah wah wah, what a true love story! Isse kehtey hain, new age Romeo! Dude, you are too much...

For a good reason?

In a nutshell, what Auntyji wants to say is, “Oye Gurinder, are you mad, oye?” On one hand you are claiming to love your girlfriend and on the other you can’t deal with her talking to another guy. Your love has no firm footing or what? Who are you doubting, her or your own self?

Betaji, aye vee koi gall hui? Chalo, let us say for your sake that she is ’engaging’ with another guy. So avval toh, how do you know they are not really just good friends? Have you got any reason to doubt her or mistrust her?

Self-check – one, two and three!

Firstly, check what’s giving you this impression? Are you sure you are not being the usual old, boring, jealous type of a man? Are you sure you are not out to “reform” her? First check your own reasons. Why are you not comfortable with her and this guy? Or are you not ok with her and any guy?

Actually herein lies the answer. Gurinder! Sunn, it’s never going to be possible that your girlfriend or partner does not speak to anyone of another gender. If you don’t like the feeling of one guy your partner hangs out with, engages with, just that one guy or girl, maybe there is something wrong there. But if it happens with any and every boy your partner talks to, then clearly dude, the problem is yours and yours alone. I hope that’s not what you are doing, are you?

On two boats

You are young. You meet and interact, work and hang out with all sorts of people, different genders. What’s so wrong with that? That’s what you have wanted all the while, right? That’s what you like and have been demanding all these years. Why are you getting all old-fashioned now?

Why are you being the critic of the “zamaaana” you make so much fun of? Ab kahan gayee progressive thinking? Hahahaha, bhai bada mazaa aa raha hai tumahri Aunty ko. To see you guys so edgy when you can’t handle the demands of modern day living.

You jeer at small town folks and middle class morality. Now suddenly, you are what you have been so against all these young years of your life? Kya hua? Can’t handle democracy, can’t handle modernity? You look for smart, sassy partners, but when it comes to being the modern day lover, what’s going wrong? Establishing yourselves as equals, now you are just a jealous old fashioned film star?

Clearly and surely

On the other hand, yes, you may be right. She may be keen on a guy. It means she is over you and wants to get on. All very possible, beta. Spot what is strengthening your belief apart from plain envy! Does she behave different, act funny, kind of ‘sexy and cute’? Does she hide information from you? Have you read or heard anything? Does her tone, behaviour change whilst talking to the other guy?

Beta, ask her directly but before that make a mental list of what all you have noted. She may deny the entire thing, but continue to tell her your feelings about this one guy and why! If she assures you that she is only pals with him, that’s ok then. Forget everything and get on with your love story.

Remember, whatever you do, don’t go sleuthing in her bag, mobile or computer for clues. Sure you have more class than that! And if she is dallying with another guy and wants to hide it from you, well this relationship not going too far or long, is it? But till you know for sure, don’t give up on love and keep the faith!

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

Are you also jealous of your partner spending time with someone else? Write your experiences as a comment below or via Facebook.

Auntyji saysWah wah wah, what a true love story! Isse kehtey hain, new age Romeo! Dude, you are too much...

For a good reason?

In a nutshell, what Auntyji wants to say is, “Oye Gurinder, are you mad, oye?” On one hand you are claiming to love your girlfriend and on the other you can’t deal with her talking to another guy. Your love has no firm footing or what? Who are you doubting, her or your own self?

Betaji, aye vee koi gall hui? Chalo, let us say for your sake that she is ’engaging’ with another guy. So avval toh, how do you know they are not really just good friends? Have you got any reason to doubt her or mistrust her?

Self-check – one, two and three!

Firstly, check what’s giving you this impression? Are you sure you are not being the usual old, boring, jealous type of a man? Are you sure you are not out to “reform” her? First check your own reasons. Why are you not comfortable with her and this guy? Or are you not ok with her and any guy?

Actually herein lies the answer. Gurinder! Sunn, it’s never going to be possible that your girlfriend or partner does not speak to anyone of another gender. If you don’t like the feeling of one guy your partner hangs out with, engages with, just that one guy or girl, maybe there is something wrong there. But if it happens with any and every boy your partner talks to, then clearly dude, the problem is yours and yours alone. I hope that’s not what you are doing, are you?

On two boats

You are young. You meet and interact, work and hang out with all sorts of people, different genders. What’s so wrong with that? That’s what you have wanted all the while, right? That’s what you like and have been demanding all these years. Why are you getting all old-fashioned now?

Why are you being the critic of the “zamaaana” you make so much fun of? Ab kahan gayee progressive thinking? Hahahaha, bhai bada mazaa aa raha hai tumahri Aunty ko. To see you guys so edgy when you can’t handle the demands of modern day living.

You jeer at small town folks and middle class morality. Now suddenly, you are what you have been so against all these young years of your life? Kya hua? Can’t handle democracy, can’t handle modernity? You look for smart, sassy partners, but when it comes to being the modern day lover, what’s going wrong? Establishing yourselves as equals, now you are just a jealous old fashioned film star?

Clearly and surely

On the other hand, yes, you may be right. She may be keen on a guy. It means she is over you and wants to get on. All very possible, beta. Spot what is strengthening your belief apart from plain envy! Does she behave different, act funny, kind of ‘sexy and cute’? Does she hide information from you? Have you read or heard anything? Does her tone, behaviour change whilst talking to the other guy?

Beta, ask her directly but before that make a mental list of what all you have noted. She may deny the entire thing, but continue to tell her your feelings about this one guy and why! If she assures you that she is only pals with him, that’s ok then. Forget everything and get on with your love story.

Remember, whatever you do, don’t go sleuthing in her bag, mobile or computer for clues. Sure you have more class than that! And if she is dallying with another guy and wants to hide it from you, well this relationship not going too far or long, is it? But till you know for sure, don’t give up on love and keep the faith!

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

Are you also jealous of your partner spending time with someone else? Write your experiences as a comment below or via Facebook.

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Comments
aunti ji main ek ladki se 8 month se baat karta hoon uski meri mulakat fb pr hui ...pehle to hum dono kaafi baatein karte thaie phone par ..ab wo ek school main padhati hai iske akwaa usko ghar ka bahut sara kaam hota hai...wo 1 month se kah rahi ki usko baat karne ka time nahi hai ab jab usko time hoga to wo phone kar legi ...wo 4 ya 5 din main phone kar leti hai...uski meri ladai hoti rahti hai ..isliye main ushse gusse main bahut bura bhala kahta hun ....phir bhi baat hoti rahti hai ...wo kya mujhse baat nahi karna chaahti kya ab ya usko koi aur mil gaya ab
Auntyji. My girlfrind is 3 years junior than me. When we were in collg, we had a great tym. We talkd a lot. No physicl relationship yet but we often had phone sex. Nw I m away from her since last 6 montha. We still cntnu c chat but c says dat c is not intrstd in phone sex nw. Also c says dat c needs to focus on her studies and wants to abstain from d dirty talk. But I knw c loves me a lot. I m cnfusd.
Hmmm! Ohkay acha suno bete yaad rakho ki kisi bhi sexual activity mein dono hi partner ki poori sehmati honi hee chhiey. Philhal aap Kuch mat kijiey aur sahi sammaey aaney ka intzaar kijiey jab wo khud sehmati dikhaey sex ke liey.Kyunki kisi bhi rishtey mey jabardasti acceptable nahi hai . in baton se dhyan hatiey aur apney rishtey ko aur majbut banaiey. http://lovematters.in/en/news/how-can-i-convince-her-have-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Rakesh bete agar aap mehnat karoge toh job mill sakta hai, lekin hum isme aapki koi madad nahi kar sakte hai. Agar aapke paas anya koi sawal hai to puchh sakte hai. Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Good evening bête! Thanks so much for your kind words. Tell others about this website and write to us, keep in touch, thats the best way you can help. Once again, Thanks for your love and trust. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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