Auntyji on love marriage
thingkreations

Should I go for arranged marriage or love marriage, please help!

By Auntyji Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 14:36
Q: I am 22 and want to get married. I am ready for both love marriage and arranged marriage. What do you think is better of the two? Hemant, Pune.

Auntyji says… 'Hemant yeh ki baat hai puttar, shaadi koi phone ya TV toh hain nahi... ki yeh brand le ya phir woh. Arranged marriage or love marriage depends on your circumstances and your choice as a couple. Let's talk more.'

Different for everyone

I wish it were so simple to pick the better one between love marriage and arranged marriage. Everyone would have gone for it and lived happily ever after. But the reality is much different. Whether it is love or arranged, marriage, it is different for every couple. So clearly there is no right or wrong here.

Betaji, you know that I am a romantic at heart. It might sounds like a cliché to you but it is true that love happens when you least expect it. So even if you choose to go the arranged marriage way, you might still end up falling in love.

Not a mystery

Both love marriage and arranged marriage have their pros and cons. The biggest advantage in a love marriage is the familiarity factor. Both people know each other and there is very less room for suspense. But then in a way, love marriages are probably more demanding. The foundation of a love marriage is based on expectations and it is very important for both partners to deliver on them. 

Another facet of love marriage is that people have to be probably more responsible for their actions. There is no one else to blame. You can't cry and run to Mumma and Papa asking them, 'Whatever did you see in that heera damaad or bahu!' It thus requires both partners to constantly check themselves and behave more responsibly.

Great expectations 

Unlike love marriage, arranged marriage on the other hand can be a bit intimidating because it can be hard to make a lifelong commitment to a person you know little.

But then on the brighter side, an arranged marriage can also come with very few expectations and thus provides a clean slate. It provides both partners opportunities to build a new life from scratch with that little bit extra support from their families – just like that extra dollop of butter on  paratha puttar ji

 

Keep an open mind

Hemant beta,I will strongly recommend you not to fall for any kind of stereotypes. I have seen most romantic of love marriages crumble to pieces and absolute strangers get married and fall in love and the complete opposite.

You are young and you have enough time to make right decision. Meet new people and take one step at a time. I would say utilize your energies in picking the right person. Whether you meet them on your own or through your family, it hardly matters.

And believe me when I say it that when the right time and the person comes, things will fall in place on its own. And until then keep an open mind. Let the thandi hawa in puttar ji!

What will you opt for - love marriage ya arrange? Comment below! Share your thoughts on love marriage with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

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Anonymous
Fri, 05/03/2013 - 10:51
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