Aunty ji
Love Matters India

I am a boy but feel like girl. Do I need surgery?

By Auntyji Thursday, May 31, 2018 - 13:47
I have a male body but I believe I am a girl. Do I opt for a sex change surgery? *Sagar, 18, Mumbai.

Auntyji says, ‘Puttar Sagar, this is not a small decision. Rather a life-changing one – a new identity, a body astitva altering experience. Let your Auntyji help you and so many young people like you out there. Ok, beta?.’

First some gyaan

So Sagar, you are in a body that you don’t want to be in. But before you think about making any changes to it, let’s go through a few facts.  

Trans is a generic term used for people who do not relate to the gender they are assigned (told at the hospital) at birth and want to make changes. Some want big changes – like a sex (organ) change. However, others who make small changes, for example, adapt a certain look, style or a habit to look and feel like the gender they feel closer to.

Dono theek hai. And that’s the point to consider. You could go for small changes or the big surgery. But first of all, get all the jaankari you can get – lap it up.

Live the experience

So beta, like I said, this is not just a matter of your heart and mind – it’s about your entire body. So gather each and every tiny and big piece of information. Meet other trans people – especially girls. See what life is like for them and make an informed decision on whether that life is for you.

Usually, this a long drawn process that can last a few years – of which one part is living like the gender (in your case like a girl)  you want to transform yourself to. What will that be like?

Nuts and bolts

Then there are the practicalities of the actual surgery – how will you afford it just now since you are a student?  It can be an expensive procedure! Also, your body will go through many hormonal and physical changes. Are you physically and mentally ready to deal with them? You need to talk to doctors and get full gyaan. You have to also get an OK from a mental health professional that you are capable of living and handling such a major life and body change.

Tough terrain

I needn’t tell you Sagar as it’s your daily reality beta. This is not an easy choice or an easy decision. It’s a BIG damn deal. So there a few more things to think about. Let me list them for you. For eg: How will your parents react when their male child expresses the desire to become a female?

Will they and rest of your family accept this? How do you plan on convincing them? Point to note puttar  – even though it may seem that others do not matter in this deeply personal decision. But often they do.

Who all are going to be your allies, and who your virodhis? Do you know? How will you handle that bit? Gather as many supporters as you can. You will need all the support to cope with this life-altering change. Often families are also encouraged to undertake counselling to help the person undergoing the sex change deal with the aftermath.

Big step big responsibilities

Puttar Sagar, another point to keep this in mind is the wider reaction you may get – society has a lot of reservations against trans people. Mainly because they (the society) too have not been fully educated or informed.  So you may see a possible change in attitude towards you, discriminate against you or marginalize you.  

These changes can be from your neighbours and some not so cool people outside of your neighbourhood.  So all I am saying in the end is – get ready. Prepare yourself for each day now onwards and get all your information.  Then make a well thought out plan and decision.

Beta let me repeat this, you will need the love and support of someone – preferably someone in your family and friend circle. Who is that -someone, find out. Take care of yourself and live your life – happy, proud and equal.

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.

Do you have any questions on sex change? Ask Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. or consult LM experts on our discussion forum.

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