aunty ji
Love Matters India

Gay or straight hota kya hai?

By Auntyji Thursday, May 24, 2018 - 07:32
Hi Auntyji. At school, my friends were talking about being gay and straight. What do these terms mean and is one better than the other? Sanya,15, Chandigarh

Auntyji says, ‘Chalo chalo very good – these words are a part of our new vocabulary beta, like any other, we all have to learn it, embrace it.'

Termed right

So let’s begin ki straight or gay hota kya hai. But let’s start with the wider terminology –  LGBT. L for lesbian – women attracted to women, G or gay – a term used for men attracted to men but is also used commonly as a term for all homosexual people – men or women.

Now you will ask what is homosexual? Well, people attracted to the same sex hence (homo = same= one). The others are called heterosexual – attracted to differing sex. It is also called straight. Chalo ji - very plainly and simply put.

Ab B (in LGBT) stands for bisexual – people attracted to men and women. Ab T stands for TG is Transgender – and here begins a lot of layers.

Transgender is a person who is not of the gender they are born with. Roughly said, you are a girl but you feel like a boy – you can perhaps be considered TG. Sach kahoon beta, this is not as easy as it seems. It is in fact very complex, very nuanced. So I will urge you to read up a lot on this issue. Start right here, on our website.

RSVP – only you

Beta – the thing to remember is that there is no wrong or a right or a better or a worse identity. However, unfortunately, LGBT identities are termed abnormal and unnatural in many cultures and societies, including ours. And so many LGBT people are forced into hiding or feigning their identities

Think of it like this beta. You eat palak paneer and I force you to eat tinda masala. It is your choice to say – no thanks – is it not? Now comes the big problem – the public is annoying. They want everyone to eat tinda masala! Is that possible? No it's not.

Even those who love tinda masala – cannot eat it four meals a day.  They too at times look for – palak paneer! Kabhi kabhihain na? Bas like that – no one should tell us who to love, who to have sex with. No one has the right on our body, our desires. Only we do.  

Discrimination at large

But zaalim duniya, most LGBT people are unable to exercise rights over their bodies and desires. You will be shocked beta – at the amount of stereotyping and discrimination that people have for people who are not ‘straight’ i.e the usual – boy loves a girl.  Everyone must do the same! So if a boy loves a boy or a girl loves a girl – duniya gets upset!

If a person is not ‘straight,’ the world is up in arms about sanskriti and culture being at threat! Homophobia – prejudice and hatred for homosexual people – is a rampant reality for many people in our country – in our homes – in this world. Even the law makes it difficult for the LGBT people to come out and express themselves freely.

Love to love you, baby

So let’s say beta Sanya, you love a boy, but your best (girl) friend loves a girl – you both love – so is your love better than her love? You want care and concern, safety and trust form your partner – she wants the same. Bas, you want it from a boy and she wants it from a girl. Is she lesser than you? Nahi na?

Auntyji’s funda is simple beta. It ultimately does not matter what others think. It matters who you are and who you think you are and what you feel about yourself.  No one should stick anyone under a label – pack them in a box (straight only!). Everyone has the right to say who they are, who they want to love, what type of sex they decide to have, with who and where… Bas pyaar do, pyaar lo. Kya bolti tu beta, Sanya?

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.

Do you have any questions on LGBT? Ask Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page or LM experts on our discussion forum.

Did you find this useful?

Hello, Garima. Thanks for your input...we have since changed the phrasing to be more understandable to a layman. Although the term 'bisexual' has evolved with the understanding of gender and the most accepted definition means someone who is attracted to two or more genders, although attraction might vary while pansexual means someone who is attracted to all genders. Pansexuals usually say that the gender is irrelevant in terms of attraction. So, bisexuals can indeed be attracted to trans people. Auntyji hopes we have cleared our viewpoint. Write to us if you wanna discuss more.
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