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Sex, breast, orgasm: Say them out loud!

Women talk about sex, yes – you heard it right. On Women’s Day, Love Matters India asked women about the change they want to see around sex and sexuality.

Out with the hesitation

Young women are so ashamed to say anything to do with sex or organs that are considered related to having sex. Words like sex, breasts, are so difficult for them to say aloud. I want this hesitation to go.

Secondly, women need to know about safe-sex practices because it really affects them if there’s an accidental pregnancy, or they get a sexually transmitted disease. This knowledge should be available to all women, right from teenagers and young adults.

*Aarna, 25, health professional
 

Sometimes I want it, sometimes I don’t

Sex should not be forced on the woman, but, be a choice. She should be able to say when she feels like having sex and when she doesn’t. Being able to say this is so important!

Secondly, sex after marriage is not just for making babies. But there is so much societal pressure to get pregnant. It should be her choice about what she wants to do with her body.

Amita, 31, artist

Hear me out, partner
 

Before expecting any change in society, there should be openness between partners: whether married or not. A woman should be able to tell her sexual desires to her partner without being labelled as uncultured or ‘extra-free’.

Ishita, 29, homemaker
 

I may not like what you like
 

I want to see women get more say. Men presume that the sexual acts they like are the ones that will also be liked by women. That’s what I want to see being changed. Women’s no is also always inaudible to men.

Sharda, 24 years, postgraduate student
 

Let us know all about sex
 

There is no concept of sex-education in our country! I know women in my peer group who use these contraceptives without any know-how on their usage. Like, some are popping emergency-contraceptive pills at a worrying rate.Sex-education with regard to abortion and contraception should be improved to improve women’s sexual choices.

In relation to the act of sex, I would like everyone to understand that women are also active pleasure-seekers.

Harmanjeet, 25, teacher

Women talk sex. Deal with it
 

Openly talking about sex is taken in a negative way. Like on this road, as I talk about, people are going to stare at me for doing that. I would like people to be educated in the real sense and be more open-minded with regard to women talking about sex.

Kaashvi, 18, college student
 

You feel it, I feel it, too
 

I wish that women are not put to shame for putting forward their sexual desires. The desire for sex comes naturally to men and women alike, just like puberty comes naturally to them. Similarly, men’s testosterone urges are so glorified. But, women being hormonal is not understood. All this has to be understood as an extension of sex.

Tanya, 36, playschool teacher
 

No virginity pressure, please
 

There is too much pressure on women to maintain virginity. This needs to go. Sex needs to be taken lightly for us. Personally, I don’t care about these virginity expectations. But a lot of us get affected by this.

Shayna, 22, nurse
 

Don’t keep a count for us too

Just like men are not asked about how many women they have slept with, women should not be asked how many times they have had sex. It’s as simple as that.

Anupa, 25, lecturer
 

Don’t judge us too

There should be more solidarity among women when talking about sex. Each woman should be respected for her choice about having sex, or even not having sex. If, as a single woman, I don’t have sex, I should not be judged as being less of a woman or being an infant.

Ishita, 25, media professional
 

Sex beyond intercourse

I am an urban, working woman, with a lot of privilege. Yet, there was nothing or no one to tell me about deriving pleasure from sex, in ways other than intercourse. We need to popularise these ideas to let women discover about sex and sexuality, say, through some sex-education portals. Maybe this would move the idea of sex beyond intercourse, because, sex is more than that.
 

Mriganka, 26, management consultant

*Names changed

*Persons in the picture are a model
 

What is that one change you want to see about women and sex? Tell Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

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