My girlfriend’s vagina is too dark

Auntyji says... Oye hoye, perhaps we should be calling the electricity department – to put a tubelight in there, hain?

Unfair expectations

Puttar, aye ve koi gall hui? You love her – you say – and now the color of her vagina is your problem?  So help me here – you saw her, met her, hung around with her, grew to love and care for her – she too in return. And all this while you were thinking – she is so fair and so must her vagina be? Nahin na? You fell for her because you liked her – not because she came packed in a bleach box. When you meet or are attracted to someone, are you doing a mental moolyankan – ladki gori hai so her 'other parts' must be fair too – and then go ahead with ishq vishq?

Color imperfect

What's this obsession with color – especially in our part of the world! We are a race of dark complexioned people – even if some of us look fair – we are dark – in contrast to people from other countries –  right? So what? In our own country – our color card varies – hugely. I say it does so even within a family –  so what's the big deal? We must get over it – really! Waise toh we are all praises about our diversity – anekta mein ekta – but when it comes to choosing a partner, are we going to have vagina hues? Is this going to be the new selection criteria now? 'Homely girl wanted – only fair vaginas need apply!’ Seriously?

DIY – do it yourself - first

Now your problem is the vagina – dark as it may be – is not doing it for you! Ok fine! People have their own preferences – yours is a fair one down there! But beta if you really want to invest in this relationship – you have to accept it in a package deal. Everything about her ought to be beautiful and sexy to you – of course you can talk about habits, attitudes and stuff like that – but you cannot expect her to change the color of her body part… why should she? Can you? Can you pick up that box of bleach, mix the ammonia, bubble up the paste and apply it on your penis to make it just a shade lighter? For her sexual pleasure? How about the hair on your butt – could you bleach that too? Nahin na beta – so then drop this expectation from her as well.

Let your love light up

Vaginas and penises, underarms, thighs, butts – can be darker than the rest of your body – that's because of the pigmentation in our skin. That's it. Things are not always how you see them in porn or blue films. Like I say – blue films are no encyclopedia on sex – so let's not depend on those for sahi jaankari! It's your relationship and togetherness that ought to be lighting up bulbs for you both – not setting up an electric plant to shed light – down there! You aren't going to carry a headlight to shine down there, are you? So light up your own love life – give her and her vagina the respect they deserve and switch off the colour bar obsession.

For maintaining the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model. This article was first published on 2017-06-08. 

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