Auntyji, does period pain will stop after marriage?
Love Matters India

Auntyji, does period pain stop after marriage?

By Auntyji Tuesday, August 1, 2023 - 15:46
Hi Aunty ji, my period days are horrible. I have unbearable pain during my periods - so much so that I am not able to attend my college classes and have to sit at home for all five days. However, when I tell my mother to take me to a doctor, she says it's normal and everything will be ok after marriage. Is it true? Sarika, 20.

It’s marriage, not magic! 

Oh Sarika puttar, my dear! I understand that you're going through a lot of pain during your periods, and it's making it difficult for you to carry out your daily chores. It's important to prioritize your health and take care of yourself. I know your mother means well, but it's not true that everything will magically get better after marriage.

I know puttar, our dadis, naanis and even mothers (most elder females of the family) believe that if a woman has period pains, they will go away or get better after she gets married. This belief comes from old traditions that connect marriage and having sex with a woman's reproductive/sexual health. But it's important to know that this belief is not based on scientific proof and it doesn't apply to everyone. 

The idea that marriage can make period pains go away is a belief that has been passed down through generations. Older people may believe this because maybe they personally felt better after marriage, but it might be due to their own unique situations.

Now, here's the truth puttar. After giving birth, there's a type of period pain that can actually ease up. This pain happens because the opening down there, the vaginal outlet, gets wider during childbirth. But hold up! This relief has absolutely nothing to do with marriage or having sex. It's all about the birthing process, got it? So, marriage or having sex won't directly affect period pain, my friend. And remember, the fact that period pain might ease up after childbirth only stands true if the pain is caused by the small size of the vaginal opening. But there are other reasons for this pain too, which can only be known after a complete check-up. 

You see, my dear, marriage is not a cure-all for period pain. While some women may experience relief after giving birth through vaginal delivery, it's not the same for everyone. Painful periods can persist even after marriage, and it's crucial to address the underlying causes. 

Normalise periods, not pain 

Sarika puttar, it's normal for many girls to feel some pain or discomfort during their periods. During your period, your uterus (the part inside your body where a baby grows) contracts to remove its lining. These contractions can cause some discomfort or mild to moderate pain in your lower tummy or back. The pain can feel like a dull ache or stronger cramps.

Some girls have periods without much pain, while others may feel more discomfort. Things like hormones and how sensitive you are to pain can affect how much it hurts.

While some degree of pain or discomfort during periods is common, severe pain (also known as dysmenorrhea) is not considered normal. Such a degree of pain can significantly interfere with daily activities and may be indicative of an underlying issue, as it is happening to you. The more you delay, the worse it will get.

We have to normalise talking about periods puttar, but please do not normalise severe period pains. Do you know many women athletes have won at races and match like tennis and even wrestling during their periods? If they had so much period pain, how was it possible? You do not need to bear it. 

See a doctor 

Puttar, period pain can have various causes, such as PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), hormonal imbalances, some fibroids or even endometriosis. I don’t want to scare you by giving you such names but these are some causes of painful periods that I know of.  Maybe you do not have any of this! But for that, you need to get checked. 

As I mentioned earlier, pain during periods doesn't automatically go away with marriage or having sex or even after having babies. 

You need to have a conversation with your mother and explain that you need to see a doctor. If she still does not want to take you to a doctor, you are above 18 and can go see a doctor yourself! 

If you are hesitant, talk to a trusted adult like some elder cousin or some chachi or mami, who you are close to. But seeing a doctor is a must. They can help diagnose the root cause of your pain and suggest appropriate treatments or management options.

I remember puttar, one time a friend of mine went to a gynecologist with the same problem - extreme pain during periods and the doctor did not take it seriously too! She advised her ajwain water or some hot water bottle only, but then after a week, her pain got so worse that she was admitted to a hospital and they detected endometriosis. Read more about it here beta. So when you go to the doctor, insist on tests, ask her if you want it to be checked thoroughly. If that doctor still dismisses you, change the doctor! 

Prioritize yourself

Taking care of your health should always be a priority, and don't forget that you deserve relief from your period pain. Please don't hesitate to reach out to a doctor/gynaecologist. She will be able to guide you and provide the necessary support. 

Stay strong, my dear, and take the necessary steps to find the answers you need.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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