What is Masturbation?

Masturbating makes you sexually aroused. There are lots of ways to do it.

Women usually do it by rubbing their clitoris and vagina with their fingers. And men do it by rubbing their penis up and down. But you can try anything you like. For example, you can arouse yourself by touching your nipples or your anus.

You can also arouse yourself by fantasising about sexual images or stories. You can fantasise about whatever you like – nothing is weird in a fantasy!

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Masturbating is enjoyable. Also it’s useful. You get to know your own body. You find out what your penis or vagina looks like. How it feels, smells, and works. And if you know what turns you on and gives you an orgasm, you can tell this to your partner when you make love.

Even if they’re in a relationship, most people masturbate. It’s perfectly normal to masturbate very often. But if you never feel like doing it at all, that’s not unusual either!

Masturbation in a relationship

Many people continue masturbating even when they’re in a happy and committed relationship. But why would they if their partner is sexually pleasing them? There are several reasons. But it’s good to know that people who masturbate regularly also tend to have more satisfying sex lives in general.

A few reasons why people in a relationship masturbate:

·         Stress relief: some people use masturbation as a release to relax after a stressful day.

·         They feel aroused but don’t want to have full sex or don’t have the right opportunity for it.

·         They want to try out different techniques and movements, which they can then practice with their partner.

·         They know the rhythm of their own body and use masturbation to help build the excitement.

·         If you’re getting upset by the fact your partner masturbates regularly, calmly ask them why they do it. Then ask if you can watch next time! Both men and women can find it a turn-on to be watched masturbating by their partner.

‘I’d really like to watch you masturbate next time, so I can see what turns you on.’

Then your partner won’t feel ashamed of doing something perfectly natural, and you won’t feel excluded. It can be a real turn-on to watch! And you may well pick up some tips on what feels good to them for the next time you have sex together.