sex with my cousin
Love Matters India

Should I have sex with my cousin?

By Auntyji Friday, April 12, 2019 - 07:30
Hi Auntyji, I am in love with my cousin and want to have sex with him. I’m an unmarried girl aged 26. What should I do? Sukanya, Bhopal.

Auntyji says, ‘You would not be the first one, beta Sukanya, so I am glad you wrote here. Let’s talk more’. 

Is it really love?

Sukanya – look back. Who do we really hang out with – who are the ‘boys’ we grow up with? We hung out with our cousins – both boys and girls and they know us best. We had fun with them – we play and do masti with them, which establishes a real close bond. All fine! Thus far.

But somewhere down the line, you grow up and so do they! From a sister – you become – a girl! You are cute looking, sexy and smart and most crucially, you are most approachable and you are aas paas

The same applies for you. Your cousin has been around you, he gets you, you have been sharing so much with him and now... he has suddenly transformed into the sexiest man you know. When did that happen? Your old fun and comfort gets further concretised and you believe you are ‘in love’. Getting complicated?

The other party

There is one more player in this – your cousin. Just because he is a man – does not mean he will be ready to jump into bed with you. He may have an extreme reaction too. All this while you were his behen – and now what’s this sudden change of course. 

You may have all these feelings for him – he may still be only filial in his affections. What then? You make a move and he freaks out, ‘Didi – what are you saying’! He begins to avoid you and you are all flustered and now afraid. 

What if he tells someone in the family? And yes – what if he does? How will you ever manage that Sukanya, beta

Not a pretty picture

What do you think can be the repercussions of this? You lose a good friend to begin with. While no doubt some communities do make room for relationships between cousins, most don’t. 

In our work experience – this sort of a love story – while common as it may be – has never really had a happy ending of any sort. It gets so messy and so complicated. Families get involved and yeah, before you know it, it’s all out of control – with name calling and blame gaming between your parents. And you at the receiving end. 

Time out for yourself 

So what can you do now onwards? Trying to keep a distance from him, now onwards. Give yourself some thought time – even talk to a close pal if you want. Take a trip? A hobby class, the gym? Swimming? 

Break your regular routine in which your cousin and interaction with him plays a central role. Go out with your own gang of girls or pals. Don't beat yourself up on this though –its common, it happens. Wanting sex is no crime – no bad thing – its perfectly OK. Its sexy and your right too. Just choose your partner wisely Sukanya. 

To protect the identity, names have been changed. 

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Thank you for your valuable comment. https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/do-indian-men-not-understand-consent If you would like to join in on any elaborate discussion on any topic, feel free to join our discussion board, ‘Just Ask’ https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Same here But I'm boy and I'm 18 and she is approx 18 we both have sexual and emotional desires but we don't do sex because we know this society will never allow us to do it they'll never allow to do sex then this is impossible to live together.. and in your case he is 17 so please wait for him to reach atleast 18
Dekhiye bête Sex ke liye kuchh rishto mein bilkul hi manahi hai, jinme family sex bhi shamil hai, samajik roop ya kisi bhi nazar se family sex ki permission nahi hai! Family relations mein ya nazidiki rishetdaar ke beech sex humesha ek bahut hee pecheeda mamaala hai - kai samuday mein bahut galat mana jata hai , bilkul asweekar hai - amamaneeya hai. Nazdiki rishtedaron meins sex, family ke rishteon mein sex - yeh sab ideas kahan se aatey hain? Shayad blue filmon se ya chat rooms se? kya hum jo bhee wahan dekhtey hain wo asal hota hai? Shayd nahin. So yeh idea ki family ka koi vyakti sex ke liye ready ho sakta hai, tayayr ho jayega, is me ek satta hai ek power ki jhalk jo ki kisi bhi soorat mein niyamit nahin hai. So zara relax kijiye puttar!!  ISE padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/should-i-have-sex-with-my-cousin Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discusion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ma apni bua ji ki ladki ko sex karna chahta Hmm. Wo b muj sa sex karwana chahti hai lakin bol nahi sakti. Ik baar us na muja bola tha k bahar ja kar sex karne sa acha hai ghr ma hi kar lay. Bahar b wohee ling milta hai ghar ma b wohee milta hai. Wo kabi kabi mara ling ko b touch kar dati hai. Jab ma ghr ma akalaa hota hmm wo bathroom k darwaza ko lock nahi karti hai nahataa sama. Ik bar ma na dakha tha us ko Bua k sath 1 hotal ma sath ma 2 boys tha un ka affair mari bua k sath tha kabi kabi raat ko buj apni daughter ko b sath lajati un sa milna k leya
Right my dear, I hear you. So you see having a feeling of sex for your cousin is not uncommon, it does happen. But is it permissible is the point, is it not. My dear, this only you can answer. How will it be understood in your family, how ill it be accepted by her… and it is complicated this too you will accept, Is it not. Ok read this and clear up your head a bit: https://lovematters.in/en/love-and-relationships/should-i-have-sex-with-my-cousin If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Right my dear, I hear you. So you see having a feeling of love for your cousin is not uncommon, it does happen. But is it permissible is the point, is it not. My dear, this only you can answer. How will it be understood in your family, how ill it be accepted by her… and it is complicated this too you will accept, Is it not. Ok read this and clear up your head a bit: https://lovematters.in/en/news/it-ok-marry-my-cousin https://lovematters.in/en/love-and-relationships/should-i-have-sex-with-my-cousin If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask" . https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hello aunty ji. I am 18 years boy and also good in studies till 11 class .But I fall in love with my cousin which is 15years old and both of us intersected to each other.But my wish is seduce it,But I don't know how to convence her for physical relationships . Please help me I can't focus on studies and my grades is decreasing please help me. I surely want to make relationship with her. can you please help me.
Hi! Right my dear, I hear you. So you see having a feeling of love for your cousin is not uncommon, it does happen. But is it permissible is the point, is it not. My dear, this only you can answer. How will it be understood in your family, how will they accepted your relationship? and it is complicated this too you will accept, Is it not. Ok read this and clear up your head a bit https://lovematters.in/en/news/it-ok-marry-my-cousin If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, ‘Just Ask’ https://lovematters.in/en/forum
hii Auntyji.. i am in love with my cousin(Mother's Brother's daughter). she also loves me. so we want to marry each other. Is this thr right decision? we are belong from a hindu family, west bengal.
There is no way to seduce you own Chachi or whoever she is, you mad boy!! Are you crazy? Has she given you any reason to believe she want to have sex with you? Do you know what having sex with a family member means- it’s very difficult and extremely complicated. Here read this and beware that your Uncle does not get wind of your “desires and fantasies” https://lovematters.in/en/news/should-i-try-sex-older-woman If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
There is no way to seduce you own Chachi, you mad boy!! Are you crazy? Has she given you any reason to believe she want to have sex with you? Do you know what having sex with a family member means- it’s very difficult and extremely complicated. You are right to be scared of the outcomes. Here read this and beware that your Uncle does not get wind of your “desires and fantasies” https://lovematters.in/en/news/should-i-try-sex-older-woman If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
I want to have sex with aunt(chachi) is not so beautiful but as i am virgin. I want to have sex with her. I like her a alot but i am sacred of my family realtionships with them that they don't tell to my parents or smething. What should i do. Please help Thank you
yogesh...
Tue, 03/01/2016 - 10:48
auntyji main ek ladki se bahot pyar krta huon...3 saal se main one sided love kr raha huon... usse pats hain, main ussse pyar krta huon, lekin wo mjhe ye sub bhul jane ke liye keheti hain... wo aab baat bhi nhi krti, msg kru to rply nhi krti, milne ki baat to bahot durr ki hain, usse dikhna bhi aab mushkil ho gaya hai... maine kuch mahine pehele usse thodi galat bast ki thi... gusse main hone ki vajaha se mjhe late samjh aaya aab maafi magne se bhi wo baat nhi krti... aap hi batao kya karu main...plz...
First thanks for writing and sharing your dilemma. very often we get confused and we mistake proximity with passion and love for affection. We are so physically close to our siblings that they become our ‘mates’ and unknowingly we become so close that we think this is love. Also, because cousins and siblings are very often the first “brush” of an adult person which again we mistake or mix up with passion, because they are close, and we are so comfortable with them, we can feel sexually attracted to them Beta, these are very touchy and delicate issues and frankly said some relationships are better off without sex, siblings and family members are such. Would you like to risk a life time of closeness, friendship and love- of a different kind no doubt- for the sake of a sexual move, which may jeopardize your present and future relationship, in fact not just yours but may well be others in the family too? I am sure you will come to a sound decision. Why don’t you take a short break or a holiday for a few days, far from your family…sister. Relax and stay well.
Vanshaj very often we get confused and we mistake proximity with passion and love for affection. We are so physically close to our siblings that they become our ‘mates’ and unknowingly we become so close that we think this is love. Also, because cousins and siblings are very often the first “brush” of an adult person which again we mistake or mix up with passion, because they are close, and we are so comfortable with them, we can feel sexually attracted to them Beta, these are very touchy and delicate issues and frankly said some relationships are better off without sex, siblings and family members are such. Would you like to risk a life time of closeness, friendship and love- of a different kind no doubt- for the sake of a sexual move, which may jeopardize your present and future relationship, in fact not just yours but may well be others in the family too? I am sure you will come to a sound decision. Why don’t you take a short break or a holiday for a few days, far from your family……cousin. Relax and stay well.
mam plz help me I want sex with my cousin sis..but she don't know ..I like her ..and want to spend a night with her .m afraid what she think or refuse me or tell my parents ...plz tell me what I do
Hi aunty nw I M staying with my sister in our dad house when ever I c my sister I feel like having sex with her this I never had ever before y do I feel like that every time after seeing her
Abdullah – so you both are engaged just now, and it seems as if you both live far from each other, yes? Ok so your see Abdullah, she is still very young. She perhaps has no clues about sex and sex talk , which is why perhaps she got so nervous!! That’s understandable is it not? You see, perhaps you could have first checked with her about her feelings on this issue and then apporched the sex talk… Ok now that she is back, and is asking for your dosti and friendship, this is really a golden opportunity for BOTH of you to get close and friendly with each other. You can use this time to talk and get to know each other so that when you do get married, you are very comfy with each other, very relaxed with each other. This is a time for love and romance, enjoy it!! All the best!!
Hi Aunty, i am 26 years old man and she is 19 years old. Last year our family decided to make a marriage plan with us. Earlier we had also rejected their plan since i had never thought my cousin to marry. But later both were convinced to get married after 4 years since she is doing her studies. First 3 months went superb, i had also even started to love her. But unfortunately, she rejects me and the reason behind it was so silly that she feared a lot on my sexual expectations after marriage. We had never met since after our marriage proposals went on at our home. Just made some sexual chats over phone and this made her to think like i am a womanizer. My heart gone broke down and i was completely went face down after her opinion on me. 6 months went away with no contacts and now she is begging my friendship. She made me to feel guilty and now she is apologising me. The only mistake which i made was that i thought her like my fiancee and made some sexual talks on our daily chats. Do i really need to accept her friendship even after this incident? Kindly advice me please..
What is small cousin? Younger than 18 is rape and you are liable, lover boy. Have some sense!! Having sex with a person less than 18 is a crime, is abuse and violence. Having it with a relative is considered Incest in most cases. You are smart enough to say yes to sex, but not so smart to stop a younger cousin? I think not!! I think you are just taking advantage. STOP IT.
I am 18 yrs old and my cousin is 19..she is very close to me and very straight forward too,she shares everything with me,she had a BF and I hve GF..one night we are sleeping on same bed and unfortunately she had touched my dick.I've loosed control and I slowly rubbed her boobs she is awake and forced me to do so...after that we had sex..after sex I'm addicted to her to have sex but now she is not accepting what should I have to do...I'm also not interested on my GF
Hello Auntyji, my name is partik and i want help form you!! The situation is of back day when i was 17 yrs old, my cousin sister is vry mch attracted towards me! I noticed this thing when i was sleeping at night with her. She was kissing me many a times which made me partially wake up. Right after some kisses she started to unbutton my pant and wanted my organ desperately. Suddenly i stopped her from doing this. But, i could'nt resist my self from her and that night even i also accidently unbuttoned her bra and felt her upper region. I am very much attracted towards her and now i want to have intercourse with her. I am now 18 yrs old and she is about 28 and when ever we meet we often have such encounters. She is married and has a small daughter!! Please please please please help me auntyji. Thankyou!!
OK So first!! Everyone calm down. Take a deep breath. So you want sex and she seems ready so you think its best with her- bluntly speaking?! Right!! She too is kind of ready it seems. So dude, I am not so sure about the bad karma angle… maybe its more in your head than actually happening?! One thing is seemingly more certain and that is that your guilt is killing you , for a while now. Dude, frankly speaking, guilt is not a good place to be. It keeps nagging at you and makes you half the man you are. So either you get over the guilt or the relationship. Make a quick decision and then irrespective of what happens, stick to it!! Don’t let your cuz talk you into anything thereafter , be really firm and unavailable. Read this column and see if it helps and take a few steps back to decide what you want to do. My “advise”, decide coolly, but quickly. All the best, bro https://lovematters.in/hi/news/should-i-have-sex-my-cousin
ujjwal raj
Mon, 03/16/2015 - 10:43
Hello aunty ji, Abhi was going through your page regarding sex with cousin, i want to confess and need suggestions. I'm 23 old guy and my first cousin she will 23 in 2 weeks. Things started when we were kids and used meet at nani's home diring summer vacation, we used sleep together, it started with touching, kissing feeling of private parts of each pther and so on, it happed for many years whenever we met. When we both were 18 she said lets stop it. We stopped but next year we started again but this time with more activities, not intercourse, we enjoyed that for a year (whenevr we met). Then again she said lets stop. We stopped. A year back she came to my room started kissing me and asked for safe intercourse. Me being desperate of sex started loving her in sexual way but didint had intercourse. Than in october i had unsafe intercourse on her request for while( been lucky nothing happend) and in november end again had safe intercourse, after that i said we have to stop this is wrong and never talked. The reason I stopped was because i think whenever i had intercourse with i get loss in work, both the time i had intercourse my work suffered, it felt like I'm being punished by god for this. Not only that i'm scared may be having sex with cousin may give me bad karma. But I'm very much desperate for sex. Everynight i try not to think of her, I somehow recall all our moments. She also lil desperate. But dont know what to do...plase aunty ji do reply..need ur help..or else this desperation may destroy me.
At first u fear each other but when u enter into her you feel like to have sex more and more i had sex with my cousin 6yrs ago since then she calls me when she want it rem am married but i can't leave her.
I am 22 years old boy. I am very interested in sex. So i naturally watch the blue films. After watching it i usually discharge semen. After a day a pimple appears on my face. So, how to control my feelings. Iam not even concentrating on my studies. Please give me suggestion.
i want to fuck my cousin she is 22 and i am 18 i dont know how to ask her,if she tell my parents i am gone i dont know how to ask her plz give me the tips how to seduce her and to get know whether she also like it or not
Right my dear, I hear you. So you see having a feeling of love for your cousin is not uncommon, it does happen. But is it permissible is the point, isit not. My dear, this only you can answer. How willit be understood in your family, how ill it be accepted by her… and it is complicated this too you will accept, Is it not. Ok read this and clear up your head a bit . http://lovematters.in/en/news/it-ok-marry-my-cousin
Am about 29 and my cousin about 28. She is very close to me and I am interested to have relationship with my cousin now. But I am afraid if our relationship broken bcos of this thoughts after my expression to her. But am not sure whether she is having the same thought with me or not. How to approach this to my cousin? At tha same time I can not hold this thoughts for long time it's disturbing me a lot. What to do, pls advice
Hmmm. You see its very easy to fall for this sort of an attraction – she is making the moves, you have nothing to lose, so to say and you get tempted, hai na? But dear, you are a smart person, think of all the consequences before you take such a step. Once you get into this type of a relation, you will have great difficulty in getting out. Plus hai toh aapki bua hee na… read this as well: http://lovematters.in/en/news/it-ok-marry-my-cousin
hello.....unti g...namast..i lv my cousn sis bt she loves sm1 other...so what shuld i do plss help me.i want to have sex with her at least one time plss hlp me
hello aunty i love my bua ji very much she is 30 and i am 21 she is widow and have a daughter 9 yrs old .she is a widow since 7 yrs and i think she didnt have sex after that and one day i was sleeping with her in summer afternoons and she kissed me on my cheeks she thinks i was sleeping but i could remember this first i thought it was normal and happens but after two nights later she was asking about kiss which she did . i said i dont remember and it was night time she said that she is going to repeat tha
hi i m a boy i m 17 yrz old nd my cuzn iz 12 yrz old but she iz fit so i m in lov wth hr so should i hv sex wth her???? plz help
Hi aunty ji I am 20 yr boy and I have not sex up till now . meri 1 chachi hai who is unsatisfied with sex because my cha cha is in relationship with other. unki Shadi KO 4 Sal ho gai par ab tak unne chachi KO touch bhi nahi kiya chachi meri Se roj bat karti hai aur meri KO sex ke leye bolti hai Vo 30 Sal Ki hai aur mai 20 Sal ka vaise to muje 25 Se 50 Sal Ki ladies he Achi lagti hai par she is my chachi should I have sex with her
Hmmm Ramesh bête pehle to hap yeh batao ki kya samajh nahi aaraha hai ab aapko ? woh kya soch rahi hain ya kya ya kya kar rahee hain, isse zyada yeh zaruri hai ki aapko ab kya karna hai? ! Kahin yeh aapki apnee manokaamna toh nahin?!! Rahee maami ki baat, yadi aap unhe MAA- Mi ki hai!!
Hello auntyji, I have a mami. I once stared at her boobs accidentally she caught me.Since then I am not able to make eye contact with her.She knows how I feel.When she comes my home I try to avoid her.But she starts a convo with smile.She has smile during the whole convo. She often says that come our home sometime. But I never go after that incident. Is it the sign of her seducing me. Kya karu me kuch samajh ni aa rha? Plz plz plz help. _/\_
Anonymous
Sun, 09/28/2014 - 10:08
Hey Auntyji..I am happy to see that you are solving problems of people.I also csme here with a hope for solution of my problem. I am very attracted towards my cousin. Once in my childhood when I was around 10-11 yrs old. I had sex with her. Now I think she is also interested in me. Sometimes she smiles with a seduction in it. What to do? Should i sex with her or not. What will I face after death attempting such a sin?! Help me out plz!
Archit jain
Sat, 09/27/2014 - 09:31
auntyji..... first time in internet i am seeing some really mature and sensible suggestions on this taboo topic...... Thanks :)
hello aunty. i 29 year old married leady. i got maary before 4 month.i am very open forward like my mother. my mother is 48 year old and her nature is very sexy. my father does not live with us. my cousin brother look my mother. i did sex only 2 time after my marrige wiithout satisfaction, i come to my mother house for 7 days, during these day i found that my is in sex relationship with my cousin. my cousin sleep with my mother and enjoy her. now i also want to sleep with her, is i thinking right
Hello aunty.i am 28 year old married leady and have no child. when i was unmarried, i was in iove with my cousin borther.due to social problem we did do not do marry. we do marry with different person.before marrige, we were in sex relationship, but did dont do veginal sex, i allowed him only for oral sex,, i promised him that i will allow him for veginal sex after my marriage, now we both got marry, after marry i did two time sex with him, now he wants more,how to handle him
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