*Ankit, 23, is a software programmer in Bangalore.
Prerna and I had been in a relationship since our school days. Last month, we celebrated five years of our relationship that included a fantastic sex life, fun travel and awesome dates but also phases of staying away from each other during college, lack of communication during exam time, career-related insecurities and much more.
The other day she called me and asked to meet. As usual, we met at her flat for coffee. She told me that she had decided to take a break from me and our relationship.
At that moment, I was speechless. She asked me whether I was okay or not. I was not very glad about her decision but I gave in.
Prerna wanted to spend time with other men to have sexual variety in her life. I was happy with one woman but she wasn’t with one man. The only guy she had ever had sex was me. She was also the only girl I ever had in life.
She wanted that we distanced ourselves. Our relationship was based on freedom, so we went ahead with her decision. We gave each other a time period of three months and planned to meet once every month.
After one month when we met, she told me that she was having sex with guys she met through Tinder. Initially, I was scared at the very thought of my girlfriend having sex with a guy she has met only twice or thrice via a dating app.
However, she is smart enough to decide what she wants, and also bold enough to face the consequences of her choices, I told myself and relaxed.
Enjoying my company
During that time when Prerna was exploring herself sexually, I was happy masturbating. I also used that time to focus on my career.
Having sex with different people gave her the freedom to experience different bodies in a sexual manner. Being with a long-term partner was my thing and having sexual relationships with a number of people was not what I wanted.
We finally met after our three-month mark. It was clear that we had to take a call on our relationship – break up or continue.
I told her that I wanted to be with her but she had no such plans.
‘I have had my fair share of romantic experience with you but I am at a point in my life where a long-term relationship can’t be maintained’, she told me. Prerna was going abroad to study medicine. After being physically intimate with guys other than me she knew that she had more to experience in her life that being in a committed relationship.
We parted ways and are not in touch anymore. The time we spent together was memorable for both of us. Sexually distancing from each other got us closer to our evolving priorities in life other than love.
Now that we are not together, I have become more socially active by attending public events related to my work. I am open to being committed in a new relationship just like the one I had with Prerna. Till then, being single is working well for me.
*To protect identity, names have been changed and the person in the picture is a model.
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About the author: Arpit Chhikara loves to read, write, draw and take long walks while listening to podcasts. Besides writing on various themes related to SRHR, he also works in the alternative education domain. When not at home, you can find him living in lesser-known places in India. You can check him on Instagram.