abortion girlfriend
Love Matters India

I wasn’t ready to be a father at 22

‘We were friends with benefits and that’s all that we wanted. Suman’s unplanned pregnancy had scared Abhay a lot and he didn’t know whether to flee or fight. What would you do? -Kya Doge Saath?

*Abhay, 22, is a student at Delhi University.

Not interested in sex

When I was in the last semester of my college I had gone out to attend some out of town, one-day workshop. I met a vivacious, pretty and confident girl named Suman and felt attracted to her. She was preparing for the entrance exams and I was clueless about my career. We ended up sharing our life stories with each other and found out that we both lived in Delhi.

As the day drew to an end, I was anxious about finding out more about Suman. We exchanged numbers. When I told her that I would love to meet her sometime in Delhi after the programme, she refused point blank. ‘I am not interested in meeting boys either for sex or for a relationship’, she told me. I was taken back for a minute but I maintained distance from her thereafter.

Second innings

I did not call or text her after coming back. I was surprised to receive a call from Suman’s number after a few months. I had almost forgotten about her after the in-my-face refusal but was pleasantly surprised when she invited me to a seminar. We began interacting again. Slowly I came to know she was bored and tired of her studies and so was I. So we began meeting frequently at mine or her place.

Check out Abhay narrating the story about how he supported Suman in her decision. 

This video is part of Love Matters India's campaign #IAmNotAlone – kya doge mera saath?

 

I wasn’t ready to be a father at 22

Friends with benefits

In a matter of a few weeks, we came close to each and became good friends. One day when we were sitting close to each other, watching TV in my room, she held my hand and pulled me close. I was quite attracted to her but had my reservations about her because of our past.

However, she clearly told me that she was comfortable so we went ahead and explored each other’s bodies. Every week we would meet and have sex.

One wrong move

One Saturday evening, as I was deciding to go out with my friends, I received a call from Suman. It was a weekend and she was in her hometown, so I was surprised. When I picked up the phone, I heard her cries. She told me that she has missed her periods and the home pregnancy kit had detected that she was pregnant. I was shocked too but tried to maintain my calm.

Our closest estimate to understand this incident was the condom that broke when we had sex two weeks back. I had not ejaculated inside her vagina but wanted to take no chance in case some semen had unfortunately passed in. So I told Suman to take the emergency contraceptive pill. However, this realization happened two days later and it was too late then.

Time to act

On Monday, we both met the moment she came back to Delhi. We both were scared of the repercussions of our passion. I was not ready to be a father at the age of 22 and she wasn't willing to sustain our relationship beyond sex. Her pregnancy was our joint responsibility and we had to get an abortion before it was too late.

I took the first step and contacted a gynaecologist who was close to her place. The doctor told us to meet as soon as possible and we went there the same evening. To avoid any trouble, we were acting like a married couple. We went two steps further and even wore a ring on our fingers.

 

I am not alone
LMI

Not a crime

The doctor knew from our faces what we were going through and told us that we had not committed any crime. She suggested Medical Termination of Pregnancy (MTP) with a pill. She also told us that this treatment will be kept secretive and all information will remain between the three of us.

Since I was not earning, I withdrew some of the money I had deposited in my coaching institute to fund the treatment. Suman also emptied the savings from her bank account. The doctor assured us that the abortion will be successful and gave Suman some pills to consume.

She felt nauseated and drowsy because of the medicines. I decided to stay with her for a week. Our parents were not involved in this because we did not want our personal lives to be moralised by them. After one week of medication, the doctor informed us of the successful abortion and we were back to our lives.

*Names changed. This article was first published on March 23, 2018. 

*The person in the picture and video is an actor. 

Have you had to deal with an unplanned pregnancy? Share with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum

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