I have a ‘gent’s problem’, who should I see?

Auntyji says, ‘Puttar sawaal is this – what is after all a male sexual health issue? Let’s discover’.

Tough call

So beta, sexual health issues can be difficult to talk about – there is shame and taboo attached to them. But whose body is it? Who will suffer if you don’t look after it? So beat the shame and discuss the issue with your partner and then with the doctor.

A sexual health issue can have a very broad spectrum. It could range from very early discharge to an STI – both issues need a different kind of intervention.  

One may need only you and your partner to ‘fix’ the issue and the other may need antibiotics – very different things both, no? And very different service providers too. Hai ki nahin? Ek jageh aapka partner hee doctor hai, and for the other issue, you will need to go to someone with an MBBS. Haina? Check kar lena. 

Men-only zone

Ab, if it's an STD for example or you suspect it is one, it’s fairly simple. You show up at the skin and STD Department of a general and private hospital, HIV testing included. These departments are also there in the city hospitals and in some cases, even district hospitals are supposed to have an HIV counselling and testing service. That too free of cost.

Now if you think you are not getting a good erection, which is very common, the reasons for it can be so many. You may not need to go to a doctor at all. You may need just some better sex acts and positions –a holiday, change of scene of sex – bedroom se drawing room – all this may solve the erection problem.  

There is a conception that problems such as early discharge, nightfall, even apna pyaara masturbation, poor erection, premature ejaculation are all ‘medical’. Well let me tell you – they are not. This is the medicalisation of sexuality and sexual experiences, which must be kept in check as well. Every sexual issue is not a disease – much as the medical community would like to claim.

Talk it through

Very often the need is just for better communication and sexual relations between partners. Oftentimes partners are shy, self-conscious and hardly speak about their condition. It further causes distances and exacerbates the problem.

The man thinks its medical and is for a long time wondering – where to go, who to talk to, who is the ‘sex doctor’. Nahin puttar, sometimes these issues are better resolved in the bedroom rather than a hospital room.

However, if you have tried everything and yet not able to find a solution, you could consider seeing a psychological counsellor – who may understand your fears and doubts, which may be impacting your sexual health as well.

Don’t ignore

Bas beta, ek gull. If you have any physiological symptoms – such as itching, dryness, repeated spells of poor erection or premature ejaculation, semen in urine – then, of course, you have to see a doctor – immediately. Start with your general physician, who may then refers you to an endocrinologist, a skin and STD expert, as relevant.

So in a nutshell – there is no one doctor beta. And sexual problems respond extremely well to cool, loving, respectful conversations with your partner on the issue of sex, on the problems you may be having during sex.

So don’t worry and make a quick decision on who do you need for your next male sexual health issue. Your doctor or your partner? S/he may be the better doctor, who knows?  

*To protect the identity, names have been changed. This article was first published on September 6, 2018. 

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