Elope
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Stuff to know before you say, Chal ghar se bhag chalein

By Harish P Monday, February 19, 2018 - 11:43
We’ve all grown up around adventurous and inspiring stories of couples who fought against the society to marry by eloping. But is it always so hunky-dory? Read on to find out the lesser-talked-about sides of eloping!
Movies tell only one side of the story

While movies may explore various facets of eloping, they usually do not present the complicated bit. You could end up missing your family, feel really guilty and end up with a lot of practical problems of roti, kapda, makaan. And most importantly – knowing your partner well enough to dive into this decision!

Age Matters!

Now, raging hormones might almost make you consider running away with your lover but do not fail to remember that there are laws at work, even when one marries by eloping! In India, as per the Prohibition of Child Marriage Act, it is not legal for a girl to get married below the age of 18 years and for a boy to get hitched before he turns 21.  So defying parental and societal pressure still leaves you with one more issue to deal with before marrying by elopement: the law of the land!

The Civil/Court Marriage route

Very often runaway couples face the problem of being from different religions, castes or regions. In such a case shunning traditional ceremonies for a solemn civil marriage procedure seems most natural. But then it’s a good idea to get your homework done in this regard. The most important thing to ensure in advance is support because court marriages require three witnesses for your marriage who must sign the marriage declaration.

Other conditions for court marriages include not having a living spouse at the time of the court marriage, mental soundness to give consent, being mentally fit to have children, and the relationship must not fall under a list of prohibited relationships by blood or adoption among others specified by The Special Marriage Act, 1954.

The Big Fat Runaway Wedding

Many couples prefer the romance and pomp over traditional marriage ceremonies and solemn court proceedings. But it demands its own homework. Working out the marriage budget, guests, ceremonies, religious rites, etc. are some of the things a runaway couple would do well to look at with the utmost attention to detail, especially now that mummy and papa won’t certainly be helping!

The life thereafter

While it’s true that when you truly love someone, you don’t really care about the world. But the world is kind of important. One needs friends, well-wishers to settle down and start a life after marriage. So if the family is not going be provide that cushion for you, see who else can. Are there are any friends, neighbourhood uncle and aunties or colleagues who could help without betraying your trust?

Setting up a home takes time, energy and money and it is always good to have some help at hand and do some advanced planning.  Also, the most important thing to pre-plan is the finances. Running away may take a  significant toll on your bank balance, and you also won’t have your parents to fall back on. So think of the budgets before the bells, wedding bells that is.

Persons in the picture is a model. 

Do you have an eloping challenge to share? Tell Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

About the author: Harish Pedaprolu is a writer and academic based out of Mumbai, India. He has been writing and editing content for the last 6 years. He has also been researching and teaching philosophy at the university level for the past 5 years. He can be reached out on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

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सुनील बेटा इसके बारे में किसी अच्छे वकील/lawyer से सलाह ले लीजिये और उनके निर्देश का पालन कीजिये. इसे पढ़ लीजिये, मदद के लिए: https://lovematters.in/en/marriage/court-marriage-in-india-everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/blackmail-in-relationships-top-facts यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, "जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/en/forum
mai apne boyfriend se shadi karna chahti hu hamari age 26 aur 28 hai problem ye h ki vo kaam to karta h lekin khudka ghar nahi h aur abhi proper settle nahi h ,mere papa ko govt jo vala chahiye mai pariwar ki marzi se shadi karna chahti hu lekin papa ko batane ki himmat nahi h bhayi aur mummy ko to pata h par help nahi kar rahe h mai apne papa ko kaise batau aur vo nahi mane to kis tarah manau?please help
Bete aapke bhai aur mummy ko pata hai, aur shayad unki sahmati bhi hai, so, ek baar apne papa se baat kar ke dekhiye - unhe manane ki koshish kijiye - aap chahen aur yadi possible ho toh apne kisi bharosemand dost ya rishtedar ki madad lene ki koshish kijiye. Ek baar apni baat kahne ki himmat toh lani hogi. Aur jaha tak apna ghar ki baat hai toh yadi wo job mein hain toh koi pareshani ki baat nahi lagti hai. Sabse achchhi baat hai ki aap apne pariwar ki marzi se shadi karna chahti hain, toh ismein samasya nahi aayegi - try kijiye!! OK bete!! Aapko, hum sab ki ore se - best of luck. https://lovematters.in/hi/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/love-marriages Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Deepesh Rai
Mon, 04/03/2023 - 17:57
Good evening sir i m Deepesh Rai sir me ek ladki se pyar karta tha hum dono ne ghar se bhag kar shadi kar li thi to ek din ladki ke parivar walo mere pas coll aaya bole tum dono ghar aajao shadi kar denge hum ek cast ke the aur ladki ho behla pusla kar bayan palta diya aur mujhe jail ho gai thi wo 21 year ki thi aisa kyu hota hai sir
Deepesh beta yeh bahut bura laga sunkar, isliye toh hum hamesha yeh Salah dete hain Ghar se bhag kar shadi karne se pahle ya koi bhi kadam uthane se pehle - jis mein caste, dharam, age, parents ka virodh jaisee stithi saamne aa rahee ho- apni family aur apne lawyer / vakeel/ local police thaane, aas-paas koi NGO se apne haq aur adhikaron ke baare mein poori jaankari lein - apni gf se bhi puchh lijiye, kahi wo baad me apne vichar badal na len. Although Jo bhi hua use phir shuru karna ya us per hee tike rehana shayed itnee samjhdaari nahin. Aage badhiye, naye kadam uthaiye, naye aur purane dost dhoondhiye, films, music, koi hobbies. Jaise ki unhone keeya hai. Apni zindigi jeene mein utar jaiye. All the best. https://lovematters.in/en/news/shes-avoiding-me-now-what https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-get-over-a-break-up-a-proven-technique https://lovematters.in/en/love-and-relationships/she-never-said-no-but-she-meant-so Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare Facebook aur Instagram mein zarur shamil ho: https://www.facebook.com/lovematters.india?mibextid=LQQJ4d https://instagram.com/lovemattersindia?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
sir meri age adhar card aur 10th marksheet meh 23 hai aur ladki ki age 18+ hai lekin ghr wale uski shadi uski marji k kilaf kr rhe h ek 30 saal k admin se uska ek bachaa v hai toh usne ghr m v btaya lekin uske ghr wale nhi mn rhe h sir toh kya hmera bhag k shaid krna shai rhe gaa plzz gudie me
Ankit beta Please koi bhi kadam uthane se pehle - jis mein caste, dharam, age, parents ka virodh jaisee stithi saamne aa rahee ho- apni family aur apne lawyer / vakeel/ local police thaane, aas-paas koi NGO se apne haq aur adhikaron ke baare mein poori jaankari lein. Yadi koi kadam uthate hain - to uske kya parinaam kya ho sakte hain - sab pooch leejiye aur aapko aur family ko kiss-kiss stithi ke liye tayyar rehna hai - uski poori knowledge le leejiye. Akhir baat - apki GF - jo bhi hain, unse ek - do baar poori tareh se baat kar leejiye - ki koi bhi kadma uthane se phele kya veh poori tareh ready hain. Kya veh samjhti hain ki kya kya ho sakta hai – like aap par, kidnap ka charge, rape ka charge, maata ya pita yadi maar peet karne lage, ya ann-shann, ya suicide ki dhamki - ya kisi ko heart attack aa jaaye - to kya veh yeh sab seh leynge - ya dheele padh jaayeinge? Aap full force ke saath aage badh rahe hain - aur aapka saathi ghabra ke peeche hat jaye - to phir aapki poori planning reh jayegee. Is kism ke sab baatien sochiye - poochiye - jaankari leejiye - aur phir kadam utahiye. Umeed hai, sab baatein clear ho chuki hain. Aapko, hum sab ki ore se - best of luck. https://lovematters.in/hi/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/love-marriages Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare Facebook aur Instagram mein zarur shamil ho: https://www.facebook.com/lovematters.india?mibextid=LQQJ4d https://instagram.com/lovemattersindia?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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