Aunty ji
Love Matters India

Why can't I fall in love?

By Auntyji Tuesday, July 19, 2016 - 20:28
Auntyji, I cannot fall in love. My friends who are in love make me feel miserable. I feel very lonely all the time. Please help! Navraj (22), Cochin.

Auntyji says… Navraj, oye puttar, teri gal tey I feel like smiling and giving you a tight hug at the same time, puttar. Kya hua ke dil kho gaya puttar? Ishq main khuda mill gaya you know…Okay, jokes apart. Let’s talk.

Been there, done that?

Sabton pehlan, have you ever been in a relationship? Is this coming from the feeling of being over it? Beta, I can totally understand that when one has a rough run with love, one certainly starts feeling that it’s not meant for them. Sure. Could happen. Did it?

Who likes a break up, Navraj? Trust me, no one. We have all been part of different relationships at different times thinking they are meant to stay forever. It may not always happen so, beta! Not every relationship lasts forever and that’s fine, my dear. It’s a part of the deal. Yaad hai a famous old quote? “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” So jo ho gaya so gaya. Learn to let it go.

Now comes your issue of finding true love. Beta are you Sherlock Holmes? What are you exactly looking for?

Finding love

Please be mindful of yourself, Navraj. Are you setting your expectations too high? Is there something called a perfect relationship? Every relationship goes through problems and rough times. I know many people claim to NEVER argue or fight with their partner. That’s not true, beta. Not even a bit.

Don’t be so santusht with yourself. Go out and meet the people you admire. Talk, discuss and challenge them. Say your bit, agree or disagree with them and yet love them for who they are and what they make you. That’s true love ki nishani. That you can be at your worst and yet not be judged.

Try to understand others and make yourself easy to be understood.

Have room to discuss, to learn, to change into a better person, for yourself and for your partner. Yeh hai mohabbat. Love will surely find a way, maahive! Stop being so harsh on yourself.

Spoilt for choice

Beta, your time has not run out. You are too young to think of being lonely forever. May be you are a little impatient and restless now. This is also normal for people your age. How do you look at the people you meet? Let’s see. One way is to think that they are such a waste of time and money. The other way is to be open and positive and think of all the new influences a new person brings into your life.

 

Now let’s say you think meeting new people is a waste of time. So chuck it and move on. Please don’t approach each person you have any interest in as abhi nahin to kabhi nahin. It takes a long time, sometimes even a lifetime, to meet someone like us, someone who likes us and who we like and want to be with. So let love take its own course. You just go out, meet people, flirt and have fun!

Friends or enemies?

Aur ab bache tumhare maayoos dost. If you think they are keeping you away from falling in love, then how are they still your friends? Are they getting something out of it? Are they trying to make you feel miserable about your situation? Are they helping you meet new people or keeping you engaged and happy? If not, go out and make new friends first, Navraj. Lovers will come later. Trust me, you will go a long way.

To protect the identity of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

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Comments
रमादत्त शर्मा
Wed, 07/20/2016 - 10:27
आंटी जी मेरी अभी नई नई शादी हुई है में और मेरी पत्नी दोनों हम बहुत अच्छे से इंजॉय कर रहे है। लेकिन एक समस्या का समाधान चाहते हैं कोंडम के बिना गर्भ ना रहे इसका कोई तरीका हो तो जरुर बताएं। आपका बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद होगा।
गर्भनिरोधन के कई उपाय हैं जिन्हें आप अपनी सुविधा के मुताबिक ले सकते हैं वह आप यहाँ पढ़ लीजिये: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/birth-control लेकिन यदि आप प्रेगनेंसी के खतरे से बचना चाहते हैं तो किसी और तरीके के मुकाबले कंडोम का इस्तेमाल ही एक आसान और सेफ तरीका हैं. इससे अनचाहे गर्भ के साथ- साथ यौन संक्रमण के खतरे से भी बचा जा सकता हैं. यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Ye padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/turned-older-women-normal Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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