Auntyji
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She’s avoiding me – now what?

By Auntyji Tuesday, March 13, 2012 - 18:33
Q: I am interested in a girl and proposed to her last month. But since then, she’s been avoiding me. We have been really close friends. I really like her and want to have a relationship with her. What should I do? Karthik, Lucknow

Auntyji says... Karthik, quickly call her, Karthik.

I am not joking here. It seems like you already know the answer to your query. Right? If life were so simple that every person we like a lot likes us back in the same manner, I would be typing this from George Clooney's bedroom. But unfortunately, am still in Sector 18 of Chandigarh.

Since we live in the real world, puttarji, sit down, take a deep breath and read on. Let’s give the situation a real shot. Our first step is to figure out what she feels about you.

You think she is avoiding you. Hmmmm. That says a lot. Haina? Maybe she is also uncomfortable around you. Maybe she doesn't know how to react to the situation?

Confusion
Try putting yourself in this girl's shoes. If your close friend, who was just a friend, declares that she has feelings for you, how would you react?

Emotions like confusion, guilt, irritation, fear might crop in your mind. This is what she must be going through right now. So isn't really a surprise that she may be avoiding you.

Sorry to break your heart, but the situation may be out of our control now. Sometimes, we confuse friendship and love. And vice versa. Lekin Dil toh tootta hai judne ke liye.

At least you were able to tell her what you feel for her. As this website says, love does matter. As Good old Tennyson declared, “It’s better to have played the game and lost then never to have loved at all.”

Give her space
The situation is dire and the best opportunity to show off our Lucknavi manners. Your best move will be to directly talk to this lady of your dreams and let her know that you are not an obsessive maniac.

If it’s not meant to be, it's obviously not meant to be. Give her space and let her decide if she still wants to be friends with you.

Don't impose and don't act all bitchy, or even preachy, about the situation. You will come out a better, stronger person. And for what's it worth, maybe your relationship with the girl might grow stronger. Just don't expect anything beyond it.

I know this hurts. But trust me, it gets better. India has over a hundred million single young women. Go on tiger, lose your heart to someone new. And the good part is that it's almost summer now. Get a bottle of roohafaza, will help you cool down.

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Comments
Hi ji, I like a girl but she likes my friend and not sowing interest in me. I guess shez nt into me. But i like her a lot. What shall i do......
Sandeep beta, How do you know that she likes you? Did she tell you or you 'deduced' it from her behavior? If there is a change in your relationship dynamics, there must be a reason behind that.It may be because she needs distance...or just occupied with her own personal life.So, we would suggest you that you try and talk to her in a calm, dignified manner and get to the bottom of it. Be ready mentally for the possibility of something that might not be jb your favor All the best. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
sad neighbour
Mon, 03/28/2016 - 23:31
at the beginning when she had a bf she was really very openly friendly with me. we spent alot of time together when he was not around. eventually, i told her i wanted more than just be neighbours. she said she's uncomfortable with me calling her words of endearment. she says even her parents do not call each other (dear, sweetheart etc). when i said i liked us to get more serious (this was after she broke up with her bf), she slammed the door on me. we still get to talk, but nothing's been the same... we hardly get to talk anymore. what do i do ???
I am sorry about your situation, beta. Your friend didn't want your friendship to turn into something more, it seems. If someone doesn't want to stay with us, there's not much we can do about it, right? Whether or not someone wants to be with us is their decision, don't you agree? We can't change get someone to say 'yes' just because we would want them to. https://lovematters.in/en/resource/love-and-relationships So, relax...it's not really in your hands now. She might come around to being friends again, but when a relation reaches a certain point, it's not a smart choice to cling to it. Occupy yourself, get a new hobby, catch up with friends, live it up, boy. https://lovematters.in/en/news/shes-avoiding-me-now-what If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hello, beta. Umeed hai sab theek chal raha hai. Yeh keh paana mushkil hai ki distance ka aapke relation pe kya prabhaav padhega. Yeh ek bahut neeji faisla hai. Iss baare main apne partner se baat kijiye, aur dekhiye ki aap dono halaat ko lekar kya faisla lena chahte hai. Ho gaya sakta hai aap dono ki bhavnaaye iss baare main alag ho. Bina gussa kiye aur bahut hi sanvedna ke saaath unki raaye jaaniye aur samajhiye.. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Meghnath kumar
Sun, 03/26/2017 - 22:24
मेरा नाम मेघनाथ है और में एक लड़की से बहुत प्यार करता था जिनकी नाम पिंकी कुमारी है और वो भी हमसे बहुत प्यार करती थी लेकिन वह एक महीना से हमसे बात नहीं कर रही है न जाने उसका क्या मज़बूरी है ****
मजबूरी या मर्ज़ी यह केवल वही बता सकती हैं लेकिन स्थिती जो भी हो आपको उनकी मर्ज़ी का सम्मान करना अनिवार्य है. यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Anuj bete is baat ko toh aap hee sudhar sakte hain baat chit kar ke- charcha kar ke. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/love-and-relationships Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Puja bete is baat ko toh aap dono hee sudhaar saktey hain.. baat cheet kar ke, charcha kar ke. Lekin bete Jab ek rishta ek makaam taka a ke ruk jaata hai, toh use phir shuru karna ya us per hee tike rehana shayed itnee samjhdaari nahin. Aage badhiye, naye kadam uthaiye, naye aur purane dost dhoondhiye, films, music, koi hobbies. Jaise ki unhone keeya hai. Apni zindigi jeene mein utar jaaiye. All the best. https://lovematters.in/en/news/shes-avoiding-me-now-what https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-get-over-a-break-up-a-proven-technique https://lovematters.in/en/love-and-relationships/she-never-said-no-but-she-meant-so Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Jiya yadav
Thu, 05/16/2019 - 16:33
Meri gf ka pahle s koi bf hai lekin us nahi pata ki mujhe malum hai lekin mai us bahut pyar karta hu .maine us pucha bhi ki apka koi bf hai to bhi wo mujhe sahi nahi bataey ab mai kya karu
Ek minit Puttar, Ye kya baat hui? Wo aapke saath bhee hain aur dusre ke saath bhee. Aapko bhi ek haath mein aur doosre BF ko bhi – yeh kaun sa pyaar hai beta? Kya aapko lagta hai ki is rishte ka koi bhavishya hai? Wo aapke saath saath kisi aur ke saath bhee rahte hai. Kya aapko ye thik lagata hai? Please har tarah se vichaar kijiye aur ek sahi nirnay lijiye. Theek hai bête! Ise bhee pdhiye: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/love-and-relationships Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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