Sexting a stranger

Sext-etiquette: dos and don’ts for sexting strangers

By Harish P Thursday, March 16, 2017 - 14:28
While sexting can be an irresistible impulse, it’s best to keep your hormones on a leash, at least with strangers. Here are some dos and don’ts that might help you.


  • Be subtle
    Remember sexting is more foreplay than actual sex. So, ‘suggestive’ is more important than ‘obvious’, here. It always pays to let the imagination do more work than ‘in-your-face’ visuals. Play around more with words and camera angles than with nudes and videos. It is way more fun and enticing this way than dealing in obviousness.
  • Be honest
    Sexting is one chance for you to get talking about your deepest fantasies! The temperature is hot anyway and it’s way less awkward to have sexual communication this way than in person. It gives you time to figure out whether your sexual wavelengths match, just in case things were to get really real in the future.
  • Make sure the person’s ‘real’!
    This is important! Riding on the wave of impulse, we often forget that just because the person has a picture and a bio, it doesn’t rule him/her out from being a freak, a fake or someone you know who holds a grudge and wants revenge (it could even be your ex).
    But this is tricky! How do you go about it? Talk as much as you can and try to work out whether the person is honest or not. What’s more, a link to their Facebook account or something tangible yet non-intrusive will help put your mind at ease.
  • Be mindful of the person’s mood
    Yes, you may be feeling fiery hot right now but don’t forget to factor in how the other person is really feeling. Maybe s/he’s in a mood for something milder (or perhaps even raunchier) than what you are looking for. Ignoring this could be a very bad idea.


  • Go overboard
    It’s not a nice idea to have your face showing or put up anything that could be used against you later. Who knows where a random sext-session with a random stranger could go. Your pics could end up in the galleries of the friends of friends of friends of that very stranger you were getting naughty with.
  • Hide it if you’re a virgin!
    Sexting is no substitute or rehearsal for actual sex. So, be wary of sexting with someone experienced if you yourself are a virgin. It might get more awkward than fun.
  • Sext while you’re too drunk
    Not a good idea to have your control mechanisms on holiday when you are sexting with a stranger. If you’re too drunk you could end up doing stuff that you might really regret later. Not just because they could be used to embarrass you later but, generally, the next morning, you might not like the idea of having gotten so intimate with someone you barely know.
  • Pester or stalk the person after you’re done
    Unless it organically grows into a friendship or courtship later, it’s best not to try and force the stranger into keeping in touch after you’re done. Sexting with strangers has its charm mainly in the idea of doing it with someone you don’t even know. If you’re doing it with an intention of getting too involved with the person, you could be compromising on the wildness of the act.

Have you ever sexted a stranger? Share your experience in comments or write to us on Facebook. If you have any questions, please visit our discussion forum.

About the author: Harish Pedaprolu is a writer and academic based out of Mumbai, India. He has been writing and editing content for the last 6 years. He has also been researching and teaching philosophy at the university level for the past 5 years. He can be reached out on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

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यदि आप इस मुद्दे पर हमसे और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं या अपनी समस्या हमसे शेयर करना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे फेसबुक और इंस्टाग्राम के इन्बॉक्स में अपनी समस्या लिखें ताकि हम आपको सही सलाह दे सकें-

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