Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

How do I get talking with girls?

By Auntyji Tuesday, August 25, 2015 - 10:55
Auntyji, it’s not that I want to flirt with every girl around, but there are some occasions when you find somebody attractive and you want to initiate talk with her. That’s my problem – I can’t initiate. I have no bad intentions either. Sameer, New Delhi

Auntyji says… Arre puttar, don't worry about your intentions. There are no good or bad intentions. It’s all in the mind. If you weren’t aggressive about it, most women would find your bad intentions 'good'. And that is the simple clue to initiating conversations with women.

I am rather glad to see that you actually want to make the women feel comfortable. Very good boy you are. On the right path.

But how does one add that comfort factor to everyday flirting? Well women, just like you, enjoy attention. It's all about how you give them that attention, because there is no simple 'one size fits all' style of flirting. It is a rather complex game. But a fun one too, so learn to play by its rules.

Labelled 'easy'

Now in my college days, I enjoyed teasing the coy boys. But I turned coy as soon as any of them spoke up. Because one doesn't know what are they reading into my flirting.

Rather unfortunately, in India, women who flirt or seem open to flirting are labelled easy. But increasingly you young people have an open mind about these things. That is a good thing. But play your cards right.

Indirect approach

So Sameer, your problem is initiating the conversation. The first rule is not to pick up ideas from TV or films. That the mind of an Indian girl is confused, she is a scared creature and her defences against men are always up –Sab fizool baatein hain beta. Every girl has her own likes and interests and you would have to just find ways of getting to know her.  

So no, stalking her won’t make her fall in love with you. And no, cheesy lines are not great conversation starters either. They will give her sleepless nights, but not in the way you imagined.

What works is indirect approach. Do you have any friends in common? Get them to put in a good word. If you fancy a girl at a party, then it's acceptable to walk up to her and start talking.

Body language

Just talk about random stuff without any overt connotations. Try to be funny, talk about mundane things, and do not try to impress her in any manner. Be yourself and do not hit on her outright. Not in the initial half hour at least.

Just pay attention to how she is reacting to you. Gauging her body language will help. Is she attentive towards you? Is she looking at you constantly? Or is she actually trying to flirt with you?

In any of these scenarios, beta ji you are in luck. If not, my advice will be to back out, pack up your bags and try your charms somewhere else.

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

This article was first published on 11th March, 2013

Do you feel uncomfortable and nervous too? Are you attracted to someone but haven't had a conversation with them yet? Share your experiences or comments here or via Facebook.

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Comments
Bete Jay! Is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha saafai bani raheye, yadi aisaye kartaye mein koi jyda takleef ya blood araaha hai toh ek doctor se mill lo iskaye baaraye mein. Aur iske bare mein jyada yaha padhiye : http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Plz hlp me mera boyfriend mujhe tang krta h kbi kuch kbi drata h damkata h mujhe milne ke lie bolta h what should I do ?? My marriage is fixed but he donot understand plz Anty g hlp me I want to die m bht tang aa chuki hu
auntiji mujhe ek bhabhi pasand hai. aur mere uske saath sex karne ki iccha hay toh wo bhabhi ko kaise manavu??? pls reply
Hmmmm! pehle zara yeh sochiye ki apke mann mein jo chal raha hai woh sab jaankar yadi woh mahila aapki complaint police mein kar day ya aapki pitai shuru kar de toh isse apka career apki life par kya prabhav padea? so zara bete apna chintan swasth kijiye aur yeh baat apne mann se bilkul nikal dijiye ki mahila kewal sex ki vastu hai. apne aas pass ki mahilao ko respect dena shuru kijiye jese aap apni ghar ki mahilao ko dete hain.
Aunty ji mera boyfrnd mjse bar bar gussa ho jata h....jra jra c bat pr..or mje ignore b krne lga h.use pta h me ussr bht pyar krti hu,rh ni skti uske bina.fir b
Aunty ji mera boyfrnd mjse bar bar gussa ho jata h....jra jra c bat pr..or mje ignore b krne lga h.use pta h me ussr bht pyar krti hu,rh ni skti uske bina.fir b
Bete Vaishali, Baat-baat par gusa hona, ladai jhagda ek swasth rishte ke lakshan nahi hain. Aur aap unse pyar karti hain kewal isliye unki har galat baat maan toh nahi sakti naa, aapki bhee ek maryda hai uska bhee khayal karein aur unnse is bare mein baat karein. Aapka jawab late diya jaa raha hai usk eliye maafi chahnge, agar koi aur sawal hain toh aap hamse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
shivam singh
Wed, 12/26/2018 - 21:24
Me ayk ladki se baat kartaa tha vah bhe mujse baat karti kuch din asha huva pir vah kabi dusro ko laeen dati hai to kabi kisi or ko me kya karo anti halp me
Ek minit Shivam Puttar, Ye kya baat hui? Wo aapke saath bhee hain aur dusre ke saath bhee. Aapko bhi ek haath mein aur doosre BF ko bhi – yeh kaun sa pyaar hai beta? Kya aapko lagta hai ki is rishte ka koi bhavishya hai? Wo aapke saath saath kisi aur ke saath bhee rahte hai. Kya aapko ye thik lagata hai? Please har tarah se vichaar kijiye aur ek sahi nirnay lijiye. Theek hai bête! Ise bhee pdhiye: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/love-and-relationships Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
LM ki nazar mein, kuch rishtey sex ke liye nahin bane hain, un mein se ek maa aur bete ka hai. Wasie bhi maa/ pita aur bete/ beti ke beech ka rishta kisi bhi samuday mein maananeey nahin. Kyunki yeh idea ki family ka koi vyakti sex ke liye ready ho sakta hai is me ek satta hai ek power ki jhalk jo ki kisi bhi soorat mein niyamit nahin hai!! Yeh bhee padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-am-attracted-my-sister Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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