Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

How do I get a girlfriend?

By Auntyji Tuesday, December 23, 2014 - 07:45
I’m very sad. I don’t have a gf, I never had one. All my friends have girlfriends. I’ve begun wondering if something’s wrong with me. Help me find a gf. Bala (22), Chennai.

Auntyji says… Hain, is a girlfriend some item to possess – like a car or a watch – that you think you are less in any way because you don’t have one? Chalo let’s discuss.

Putting it very bluntly: Maybe you have not tried asking someone out enough or maybe you have tried too much, and both are equally unappealing. We have to strike a balance in what we do and how we do it.

So first, look into yourself – are you dong something about it or just complaining? Or are you being SO pushy to get a girlfriend that you are scaring everyone away? The other truth is, maybe you just haven’t met your type of a girl yet. And that’s OK too.

‘Look good, smell better’

Haan ji, so you are moving about with friends and they all have girlfriends. Must be so depressing for you! You feel, ‘They have something I don’t have. They are cool, I am a fool!’ Arre nahin puttar! You see, beta, in this world of complete and continuous competition, we just  have to keep up with the game, as we say! You can’t afford to be lagging behind with continuous complaints, can you?

So come on, let’s see what we can do about finding a nice girlfriend. So sabse pehle, stop feeling sorry for yourself and be a little proactive and up to speed. And let’s spruce you up a bit. So as you know, first impressions last – so check how you look. Keep a tab of what is cool in your circuits and what your pals around you are wearing and sporting. Then, make sure you are very clean and neat and have no sorts of odours – mouth, body, underarms, feet. Aye haye, it’s so unappealing and totally unsexy. And upar se noone wants to tell the person who has it, that s/he has it! Look good, smell better is Auntyji’s adage. And don’t overdo the deo, please!

Brain power

Now comes the harder part with finding a partner. Work on how you present yourself – the talking, chatting and making intelligent and interesting conversations. Bhai, if you are a natural, tab to koi problem nahin, but if you are a struggler then toh jee you have to practise.

Read more, have some interests and a lot to talk about. But most importantly, one more tip from Auntyji. Talk about the person you are trying to impress – ask her about herself, her life, her interests, and add your ideas on each. Don’t take off about the political situation in Kosovo, she and many others may not even know what that is!

Don’t be sexist

If you’re trying to get a girlfriend, never speak derogatorily about women to women. I hear men crack so many sexist jokes and many stupid kuddis keep laughing also. But avaoid it, it’s really not cool and shows you have no respect for women at all. Especially if you are amongst other guys who think it’s cool to make jokes about women, resist and see how you will stand out in any crowd.

Just today I was at a show and I heard an MC comparing bikes to women. Batao, now how is that funny?! So while the demand is not of being chivalrous – by the way that still goes a long way – but at least a marked sense of respect is expected!

But that doesn’t mean you should be or behave like the total loser! Don’t do chun chun and make yourself look like a bechara. Also, the first date you get with a girl, don’t already plan your wedding mandap! Oye, wait, get to know her and let her get to know you and then see how it works out, if at all.

So relax and be yourself, not some quick gun Murugan, ki chat mangni phat beyaah! And please don’t bore her with your, “My Mummy,” “My didi,” “My sister’s sister-in-law” – details of other women you so love and admire. No one wants to hear this, so thanks but no, thanks!

Look in the right places

Ok, so the biggest problem being with guys who are hooked up is to find places or people to hook up with, woh toh baithe hain aaram se! So don’t be shy and get ready to ask them, “Hey, introduce me to her” or “She looks nice, can’t you fix me to meet her?” And see what they say.

Also try online dating, a hobby class, a sport, and see if you do meet someone, who is outside of this circle of friends where everyone knows everyone.

Ok jee chalo, bas ho gayee! Look good, feel confident and get ready to put your hand out and introduce yourslef. Beta, there’s nothing wrong with you, sometimes all these things take time, so that’s alright. Bas now get ready to get out there and get noticed.

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.
First published 21-10-2014

Are you having troubles finding a girlfriend? Share your experiences with us by leaving a comment below or starting a discussion on Facebook.

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Comments
I don't have any girlfriend and nowadays i am getting very much sex obsessed. I'm 18 and I get aroused very easily. Please help. Aditya. Pune. 18
aditya kumar shukla
Thu, 12/25/2014 - 00:06
aunty ji. jab ek ladka aur ladki ek dusre se pyar karye hain but kh ni pate. us case me vo ladki us ladke se kya expectations rakhti hai ? ladke ko kya karna chahiye ?
Rajeev gupta
Thu, 12/25/2014 - 19:16
Auntiji mera sex relation meri aunty ke sath hai vo 40 year ki hai aur mai 32 ka hu vo mujhe roj sex karne k liye force karti hai kya kyu
Batao!! Iska koi formula hota hai kya? Arre nahin bhai. Dost banao, dosti ke liye na ki patane ke liye, phir dekho kya baat banti hai. Zara soch khulli karo!! Apna look theek thaak karo, saaf suthre to dikho... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakho aur dikhao!! Samjhe, Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bete dost banaeeye, dosti ke liye, girlfriend ke liye nahi, phir dekhiye kya baat banti hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaeeye!! Samjhe, Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Deepakranjan
Tue, 11/20/2018 - 19:23
Aunty ji.mujhe kyu koi ledki pasand ni karti.aur boy friend ni banati.mera koi girlfriend nhi hai.mere pass sab kuch hai lekin I don't have any of.
Bete dost banaeeye, dosti ke liye, girlfriend ke liye nahi, phir dekhiye kya baat banti hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaeeye!! Samjhe, Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bete dost banaeeye, dosti ke liye, girlfriend ke liye nahi, phir dekhiye kya baat banti hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaeeye!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Kishan bete toh pahle dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki gf ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! samjhe Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Viky bete sabse pahle dost banaeeye, dosti ke liye, girlfriend ke liye nahi, phir dekhiye kya baat banti hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaeeye!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aapse yeh kisne keh deeya ki ladkiyoun ko patana hota hai taaki unse sex kar sakey? Kya dosti, pyaar izzat- yeh sab kuch nahin? Kya ladkoun aapki nazar mein…. Aur yadi aap aisa sochte hai toh shayad aapka nazariya mahiloun ke prti bahut ek tarfaa hai… isme toh sudhaar laana hee chahiye. Koi bhee mahila sex ki vastu bilkul nahi! Apne aas-paas ki mahilaon ko respect dijiye jese aap apne ghar ki mahila ko dete hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/meeting-someone/saying-no Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
meri girl friend hai sath me ghumne v jate hai enjoy v krte hai or baat v mobile pe krte hai toh wo v sexy sexy wali baat krti hai jab use hm bolte hai ki chalo tmhare sath sex karuga toh wo piche q hat jati hai
Dekhiye bete! Kisi bhi sexual activity mein ek cheez bohot hi important hai woh hai dono logo ki sehmati. Yadi woh abhi is baat ke liye sehmat nahi hain toh aap bhi force mat kijiye. Yeh Jaaiz demand nahin. Aur bhi activities hai jo aap try kar sakte hain. Is baaray mein yaha padhein: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/meeting-someone/saying-no https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/do-indian-men-not-understand-consent Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
pratham gupta
Wed, 02/06/2019 - 10:57
i am 13 years old i need a girl friend and i love my friend.par vo merese pat ti nahi.do anything for me.plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.i live in gwalior india
Arre nahin bete. Dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki patane ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! samjhe Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Vishal bete pahle dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki patane ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bete toh pahle dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki Gf ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! samjhe Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Dear you may want to make an impression by first being very smart, clean, hygienic, well dressed, ( not expensive, but neat and smart) and Most Importantly, a nice, sweet , interesting person, who respects women. Try and find out what the girl likes, ask her about herself.. Show interest in her life and dreams, share yours.. NEVER be a ""stalker""...chasing her everywhere, FB / wassap/ e-mail/ phone - terrible habits!! So Make Friends First and everything else, Later. Ok? Also read these links: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/love-and-relationships https://lovematters.in/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend https://lovematters.in/en/our-bodies/male-body/mens-hygiene If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask" . https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Shivanshu
Sat, 03/16/2019 - 00:10
I have a friend m use like krta hu but uska mujhe kuch pta ni. Mujhe dar lagta h ki agar m use apni feelings btauga to vo mujhse baat krna bhi na band kr de
Hmmm! Shivanshu bete yeh toh hum nahi bata saktye na ki unhye is baat se dikkat hogi ya nahi lekin haan kyun naa aap pure pyaar aur vishwaash ke saath untak yeh baat rakhein. Lekin haan bete khud ko mentally unki HAAN aur NAA dono ke liye tyyar bhi rakhiye. All the best. https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date https://lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/male-body/mens-hygiene Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sorry bete hum aapki is baare mein madad nahi kar sakte hai lekin sabse pahle dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki gf ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! samjhe Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Rahul bete toh sabse pahle Dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki GF ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! samjhe Mr formula?!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hi, Sarvesh beta. Hum aapki kya sahayata kar sakte hain? Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ek ladki muje bhot dino se dekhti h or dur se Hi smile krti h or kbhi m uske paas chla jaaun to muje ignor sa kr deti h koi trika btaao yaar uske man me h kiya kiya chati h bhot knfuse hu koi tarkia btaao yaar usse ye reson puchne ka
Sachin bete agar aap unse pyaar karte hain toh kyun naa aap pure pyaar aur vishwaash ke saath untak yeh baat rakhein. Lekin haan bete khud ko mentally unki HAAN aur NAA dono ke liye tyyar bhi rakhiye. All the best. https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date https://lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/male-body/mens-hygiene Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bete toh sabse poahle dost banaiye, dosti ke liye na ki GF ke liye, phir dekhiye kya baat bantee hai. Zara soch khulli kijiye!! Apna look theek thaak kijiye, saaf suthre to dikhiye... koi badbudaar nahin!! Aur alag alag baaton mein dilchaspi rakhiye aur dikhaiye!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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