Dating don'ts for guys

Dating don’ts for guys: hot tips from single girls

Want to know how not to woo a woman? Ask the experts: single girls. Five single women, five top tips on what not to do when you’re trying to impress them on a date – from putting on an act and trying too hard to getting too steamy too soon.
  1. Don’t be too persistent Reshmi (name changed) is a Program Coordinator. Persistence pays off is the biggest lie men believe to be true. If someone is rebuffing your advances or doesn’t seem very ‘interested’ it doesn’t mean she wants you to try harder. Please unlearn whatever ‘pearls of wisdom’ you have soaked up from Bollywood. There is absolutely no justification for inflicting unwanted attention on a woman. In my experience there is a very thin line between being persistent and being a stalker. To find out which side of the line you are on pay attention to the way she responds, if she is even a little uncomfortable or unresponsive then please just back off.
  2. Don't pretend to be richer, smarter or nicer than you actually are Kamiya (name changed) is a Web Developer. I’m all for putting your best foot forward when trying to impress someone but I’ve been on dates where the guy tries so hard to be something that he is not that he ends up looking like a fool. There is no point in pretending to be richer, smarter, nicer than they actually are because most of the times it’s so obvious that they’re putting on an act. They end up talking too much, smiling too much, spending too much and sooner or later we figure out that they were pretending.
  3. Don’t be a comedian Aradhana (name changed) is an HR manager. I find guys who can make me laugh very attractive. But even though I enjoy jokes, it's a big turn-off when guys are on a one-liner trip. I get that they are trying to be funny but a little bit of sincerity isn’t too much to ask. I like men who have a sense of humour but I also want someone that I can have a real conversation with. I’ve been on a date where the guy rattled off jokes on his own for two hours and didn’t even noticed that I hadn’t said anything because he wasn’t looking for a response, he was looking for applause at the end of his routine. So tone down the giggle-fest if you’re seriously trying to woo a woman.
  4. Don’t rush to get physical Arpita (name changed) is a Law Graduate. Honestly I would instantly strike a guy off my list if there were no chemistry between us. I mean no matter how perfect he is on paper, if I don’t get butterflies in my stomach when I’m around him then I don’t want to be with him. I know the butterflies in the tummy thing doesn’t last forever but even if it’s for a short while I want that excitement. And because I know how rare it is for two people to feel like this about each other, I like guys who will let things simmer slowly for a while. So don’t be impatient, let the sexual tension brew for as long as it can. Being attracted to each other is necessary, but I like things to move slowly so if the guy is in a rush to get physical it's a total turn-off.
  5. Don’t be emotionally distant Sunaina (name changed) is a Food Blogger. For me to believe that a guy is genuinely interested in me he should be able to talk to me about how he feels about his life, his family, what he is passionate about the kind of person he wants to be with. But most guys get so freaked out about talking about these things. They need to relax a bit – just because I’m asking you about your passion in life doesn’t mean I have plans to become a clingy super-emotional girlfriend. It’s just talking at the end of the day and it shouldn’t be so hard to talk about things that matter to you. So please open up a bit and don’t be an emotionally distant silent type.

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