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Casual sex: do's and don'ts

Sometimes all you want is fun – casual, uncomplicated, no strings, no drama, no commitments. If you’re up for casual sex, how can you keep it safe, uncomplicated and pleasurable? Check out our do’s and don’ts.


  • Use a condom
    That’s your first commandment! When you have casual sex, you’re involved with people whose lifestyles, habits and sexual histories you don’t know. So better be safe with a condom before the act than stress out and suffer after it’s done. Worries at the back of your mind are a passion killer. With a condom, you can relax and enjoy.
  • Remember what ‘casual’ means
    While this is not easy as putting on a condom, it is important to prepare yourself for avoiding any possible emotional vibes before, during or after the action. For casual sex, you need to have a grip on your soppy side. Why? Because that’s what you’re setting out for in the first place – casual! So be honest, with yourself. If deep down you’re really hoping for romance, or you’re not emotionally ready for no-strings sex, then take time to think before you rush into anything. And make sure your partner knows the deal is casual, and that’s what he or she wants too.
  • Feel fine about lust
    You don’t need to judge yourself if your partner is hot as hell, but frankly that’s all you see in him/her. As long as you feel happy with it, so is your partner, and nobody gets hurt, it’s perfectly OK to let your hair down once in a while, give in to lust, and go for surface over depth.
  • Make it wild
    Well, this is your chance to try out something new and kinky without being judged or emotionally obsessed over the thing later. From roleplay to costumes, from BDSM to positions, when it comes to variety (within the limits of safety), it’s pretty much an open field out there! So as long as you feel comfortable, and the communication with your casual partner is flowing easily, go as far as you dare.


  • Hesitate to refuse, or go beyond your limits
    Just because this is not heading anywhere anyway, don’t submit to your partner’s whims if you’re not happy about it. It’s important not to impose yourself on the other person too much, and it’s also important to assert yourself and say no to things that are unacceptable to you. Remember it’s OK to say no to sex at any time – even if you’ve already said yes, but you’ve changed your mind.
  • Pressure your partner
    Never, ever, pressure anyone into sex. And it’s important to make sure that your idea of what’s bedroom fun is not a burden for your partner. Get things clear beforehand rather than make matters awkward for yourself or the other person.
  • Get involved with good friends
    If you keep it strictly casual, one-off encounters can be fun with just about anybody. But the 'friends with benefits' thing is risky. It’s best to avoid casual sex with people whom you’ve known too well and for too long. Thanks to your long history with each other, it might not be long before the ‘casual’ in the sex disappears, and you can find yourselves with mismatched hopes or expectations. It can end up ruining your friendship.
  • Go casual while you’re in a relationship
    Going in for casual sex with B, while you’re in a relationship with A (a.k.a. cheating) might sound raunchy and fun to you, but the very idea of it may end up emotionally destroying your partner (and possibly you too). So, unless you know the level of your partner’s ease with the whole idea, just rein in your instincts!

Questions about casual sex? Our forum is the place to ask them! Let's talk.

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