Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

I am attracted to my sister - what should I do?

By Auntyji Tuesday, September 1, 2015 - 10:09
Auntyji, I am not very comfortable sharing this, but the truth is I am attracted to my sister. She is a bit older than me and I feel this is not right. What do you have to say about this? A***** (19), Sonipat.

Auntyji says… Hmmmm, the good thing is that you have been open enough to talk about this and seek some advice. Also please know that you are not alone in this feeling, it is quite a common conundrum, let’s discuss it.

Power over you

Well beta, as we have discussed in one of our earlier columns, this is a very mixed sort of a situation – whilst certain cultures accept relationships between cousins, most of them sternly look down  upon them. One thing is for certain though, nowhere is a relationship between siblings accepted. That is pretty much NA – not acceptable!

However, many young people talk about it, ask about it. Where do these feelings emerge from? What converts a bond of carefree affection into one in which a sister has to guard herself from and watch herself against her own brother? When did the equation change that the same brother you were climbing trees with suddenly has the power over your body?

Cultural (mis)fit

This whole Raksha Bandhan thing, ask the sisters who have been touched, groped, looked at sexually by the man they are asking for protection and security from! How odd is that? Rakhsha Bandhan nanhin, Rakshas Bandhan!

To top it all, look at the amount of social, religious, and even political sanction this festival has been given.Think again of that sister who is quaking, cringing and fuming as she ties that thread on the same hand that has violated her and perhaps her other siblings as well.

Got it wrong

Beta, one big error of judgement we make – we confuse proximity with “availability.” Just because she is the only young woman around you doesn’t mean she is available to your sexual fantasies and desires. She has as much right to be in the house as do you, theek hai na? So back off a bit.

Your sister is just living her life being clueless about your obsessions. Every time you see her, you don’t see a childhood mate but rather a “potential chance” to have sex. Now that is rather disturbing, is it not? And very unfair, would you not agree?

Steer clear

The fact that you are asking is a good sign. You too are confused and upset, I can see. Beta, there are some relationships from which the sex angle must be kept out. Siblings, parents, people who trust us, older people and kids definitely fall in that category and this is not an exhaustive list.

For years on end, so many young women and men remain hurt, anguished, agonised and angry because their brother, uncle, chacha, maama and many more such rishetdaars went ahead and did exactly what you are planning dear, A*&^%! Whilst you may find your sister very “sexy,” and she may well be so, I am afraid she is off your limits. Get a grip and move on.

Hot on your heels

What would that Raksha Bandhan scene look like where the beloved brother puts out his hand to get that rakhi tied and she speaks up, “Well, you know what, I am done with this ridiculous patriarchal scene of ‘normalcy’. You don’t need protection to protect me. I need it protection against you, you creep. You have been sexually assaulting me for years, you perv!”

Not much of a family get together that, haan?  Watch it, brothers, that day is not too far!

 

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? Have you felt attracted to your sister or your brother? Write to us via comments or on Facebook!

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Comments
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vikas gupta
Wed, 09/16/2015 - 01:34
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ADITYA mgr
Fri, 09/18/2015 - 00:22
Madam ji namaste, meri age 21 hai or mujhe bachpan karib jab mai 11*12age ka raha hounga tab se hasthmaithun ka let lag gaya hai. karan mere home me ek sex book rakha tha usi me figure or story jankar ajtk hasthmaithun karta hu mera sawal hai ke meri ling ka size 3inch hai or avi tak supda v nai nikla hai. kya proaalm ho sakti h.? jbki meri frnd jo chote h uske nikal chuke hai. plese jabab de. i m wait. ps
Hmm! Toh kya aap penis se attached skin ki baat kar rahe hain toh suniye bete! is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha saafai bani raheye, yadi aisaye kartaye mein koi jyda takleef ya blood araaha hai toh ek doctor se mill lo iskaye baaraye mein. Aur jyada yaha padhiye : http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Suniye Hum ismein aapki koi sahayta nahi kar skate lekin Aapse yeh kisne keh deeya ki ladikoooun ko patina hota hai taaki unse sex kar sakey? Kya dosti, pyaar izzat- yeh sab kuch nahin? Kya ladkoun aapki nazar mein…. Aur yadi aap aisa sochte hai toh shayad aapka nazariya mahiloun ke prti bahut ek arfaa hai… isme toh sudhaar laana hee chahiye. Har mahila sex ki vastu bilkul nahi! Apne aas-paas ki mahilaon ko respect dijiye jese aap apne ghar ki mahila ko dete hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-do-i-get-girlfriend
Aunty Ji main bahoot tension main hu mera relationship ko 10 year ho gya fir bhi hum 2no main sex nhi huva he main Meri gf ko 1 baar bola tha ki muje sex kar na he toa bol rahi thi ki yea sabh mujhe pasand nhi he yea sabh shadi ke baad karenge toa main sirf kiss karta hu muje kuch problem nhi he ki wo mujhe sex nhi karne deti magar Mann main 1 khayal chalta rahita he ki wo mujhe bharose pe rakh kar dusre ke saath shadi na Karel plzzzz
Gopal bete, sex ke liye dono partners ki manzoori anivarya hain. Agar aapki girlfriend ki marzi nahin hain toh aap Kuch mat kijiye aur sahi samay aane ka intezaar kijiye jab wo khud sehmati dikhaye sex ke liye. Kyunki kisi bhi rishte mein zabardasti acceptable nahi hai . inn baton se dhyan hatiye aur apne rishtey ko aur majbut banaiye https://lovematters.in/en/news/how-can-i-convince-her-have-sex Aage kya hoga, ispe tipaddi karna sambhav nahin par yadi pyaar karte hain toh vishwaas bhi kijiye.. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Maine apne pados ki bhabhi k sath bhut baar sex kia hai even bina protection k Qki unhone family planning kr rkhi hai. But kya isme koi precautions lena chaiye ya nhi.
Bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhi nahi hai. Isse youn rog hone kaa khatra ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Apne se umar mein badi mahila ke saath sambadh ke bare mein bahut se log sochtey hain. Lekin apki is soch ke kaaran kahin aap kisi badi musibat mein na padd jaye isliye zara aap swayam chintan kar lijiye, aur soch lijiye. Jara yeh writup bhi padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/should-i-try-sex-older-woman Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Yeh MAAHAN idea kahan se aaya aapko? Actually aap logon ko shayad lagta ho ki kyunki yeh sab cheezein porn filmon mein bahut common hai aur shayad aapki sister aapke aas paas hee hain, toh unhi se kar liya jaye!! Yeh vahiyaat idea apne mann se nikaal deejiye aur yeh jaan lijiye ki sirf ki yeh ek ghinoni harkat hai jo ki aapki sister ke poori zindagi pe asar kar saktee hai, saath hee aapke rhte par bhi, yeh toh aap bhi jaante hi hain!! Apna chintan swasth karo!! https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-am-attracted-my-sister Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
ramkrishna parte
Thu, 05/23/2019 - 07:14
Auntiji Mai meri buwa ji yani mere bade dadaji h unki ladki ki ladki se love ho gaya h . Mujhe 8 sal ho gaye ab mai 21 sal ka hu. Mai hamesha disturb hota hu is bat ko laker . Mai ladkiyo se bahute hi kam karta hu . Isliye in 8 salo me yakinan 5 bar ham mile par na to usne mujhse kuch pucha or nahi hi mai himat juta paya .par jab bhi hm mile hme esa lagta h ki ak dusre se hm kuch bate karna chahte h . Mujhe lagta h is bate ko bata dena chahiye par usi vakt relation ka khyal a jata h. Ap hi iska kuch upay nikale . Is problem m mai koi work tik se nahi kar pata hu or poor results ata h . Ya to ak bar usse clear bate ho jaye . Ya usse kisi tarah bhul jau to mai success ho sakta hu.
Betaji Hindu dharm mein bhi bahut se alag reetee rivaaz hai na. SO jab ki north india mein ye dharm aur sanskriti ke khilaaf maana jaata hai, kuch pranton mein nahin. Beta suniye Rishtedaari mein shaadi bahut kathin hai beta. Uske liye bahut tayyar karnee hoti hai. bahut sehna hota hai. Kya is sab ke liye aap tayyar ho beta? Its not easy!! Aur what about your gf / cousin sister… kya who yeh sab see lengee? Leejiye yeh padh leejiye, shayad koi madad mile. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/it-ok-marry-my-cousin https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/should-i-have-sex-with-my-cousin Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Maine apnichacheri bahan ki ladki ko sex krne ke liye agree kr liya... Lekin ab bo bina koi sawal ke sex krne ke liye mana kr rhi h Plz bataiye mai kya kru
Dekhiye bête Sex ke liye kuchh rishto mein bilkul hi manahi hai, jinme family sex bhi shamil hai, samajik roop ya kisi bhi nazar se family sex ki permission nahi hai! Family relations mein ya nazidiki rishetdaar ke beech sex humesha ek bahut hee pecheeda mamaala hai - kai samuday mein bahut galat mana jata hai , bilkul asweekar hai - amamaneeya hai. Nazdiki rishtedaron meins sex, family ke rishteon mein sex - yeh sab ideas kahan se aatey hain? Shayad blue filmon se ya chat rooms se? kya hum jo bhee wahan dekhtey hain wo asal hota hai? Shayd nahin. So yeh idea ki family ka koi vyakti sex ke liye ready ho sakta hai, tayayr ho jayega, is me ek satta hai ek power ki jhalk jo ki kisi bhi soorat mein niyamit nahin hai. So zara relax kijiye puttar!!  ISE padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/should-i-have-sex-with-my-cousin Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discusion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta sex ki ichha hona bohot hi common hai, lekin iska matlab yeh nahi hai ki aap apni bahan ka shosan Karen. Lekin yeh sab ideas aap sabko aate kahan se hai? Actually aap logon ko shayed lagta ho ki kyunki yeh sab cheezein porn filmo mein bahut common hai, so yahi kar leeya jaye!! Yeh bahut hee bekaar idea hai aur aap apne mann se nikaal deejiye aur yeh jaan leejiye ki ye sirf ek ghinoni harkat hai jo ki aapki aur aapki sister ke poori zindigi pe asar kar saktee hai, Aap dono apna chintan swasth kaijiye!! Aur ise padhiye: https://lovematters.in/en/news/i-am-attracted-my-sister Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aunty, Jab mein paida hua tha to uske theek 5 saal ki umre mein hi maine apni behan k sath sambandh bana liye yon samband anjane mein......dono ki marji se.....par yeh natural tha....pata nahi kaise hua ku hua kuch samajh nahi aata mujhe..............uske baad yeh samband kareeeb 10 saal ki umrah tak rojana k base pe hum daily aur most of the time sex karte rahe....par kisi ne pakda nahi aur kisi ko pata tak nahi chala...par ek din mere se 5 saaal badi behan ne mujhe dekh liya aur pakad lia....aur usme bhi mere sath sex karne ka mann ho gaya.....wo kehne lagi ki meri pussy mein apna lund daal....par hichkicha raha tha aur himmat nahi hui.....usne kaha ab to nahi karega apni choti behan k sath galat kaam maine kaha nahi.......aur tab se yeh galat kaam hat gaye.....lekin jab mein padhne college jane laga.....tab waha sundar sundar ladkiyo ko dekhkar mera ek dum tantanatan khada rehna laga aur mein sex k liye bahut bekabu ho gaya......aur jab ghar pahuchta tab meri choti behan aur mein dono hi jawaan ho gaye hai.....aur ek din hum dono sath mein so rahe the.....tabhi pata nahi ku mere andar sex ki echcha bahut jyada jaag gayi.....haalaki usne apni pussy mein lund daalne se mana kia to maine uper se hi uski kachchi se hi apne lund se jhatke lete hue apna lund jhad lia........yeh sab ek dum ajeeb tarike se ho gaya.....aur baad mein pachtava bhi hua iksa hame......lekin aaj jab meri shaadi hue 7 saal ho gaye aur meri behan ki shaadi hue 5 saal ho gaye....to mujhe yeh sab baate sochte hue bahut hi sharm aati aur bahut ganda lagta hai....yaha tak ki maine apni dono behno ko raksha bandhan pe aane se mana kar dia hai....mujhe afsos hota hai khud pe ki mein kaise bhai.....hu jisne paida hote hi apne iss pavitra bhai behan k rishte ko hi apavitra kar dia.....aur mujhe apni nighaho se samaaj ka samna karne mein bahut sharm aati hai ab,......agar iss paap ko koi samdhan hai to bataye aunty ji.....aap meri maa jaise hai....ab aap hi rasta bataye mujhe ki mein kya karu....mein wastav mein bahut dukhi hu iss baat se....
Bete jo bhi hua wo bahut hi galat hua- lekin ismein aapke saath saath aapki bahan ki bhi utni hi galti thi - aur ab is baat ko kaafi samay ho chuka hai, saath hi aapko guilt ki feeling bhi ho rahi hai, so ab aage ki dekhiye - aur apna rishta sahi se nibhane ki koshish kijiye. Waise LM ki nazar mein, kuch rishtey sex ke liye nahin bane hain, un mein se ek bhai aur bahan ka bhi hai. Wasie bhi bhai/bahan, maa/ pita aur bete/ beti ke beech ka rishta kisi bhi samuday mein maananeey nahin. Kyunki yeh idea ki family ka koi vyakti sex ke liye ready ho sakta hai is me ek satta hai ek power ki jhalk jo ki kisi bhi soorat mein niyamit nahin hai!! Yeh bhee padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-am-attracted-my-sister Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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