Aunty ji
Love Matters

My gf is getting married. What should I do?

By Auntyji Wednesday, August 16, 2017 - 16:31
Hi Auntyji, my girlfriend is getting married. I am devastated and can’t believe it is actually happening. What can I do? Ashutosh, 23, Allahabad.

Auntyji says….‘Oh ho! ...this is just too bad puttar! I can almost visualize a Heer Ranjha type of scene.'

'Sudden' change?

Beta, why are you so surprised? Is it a brand new information to you? Did she not share with you that marriage was on the cards for her since quite some time now? You know the regular dekhna dekhana routine? Did you hear about it via a shaadi card? I do hope that is not the case because then it is really not fair. If she was partaking in all these traditional rituals of ‘selection and elimination’ and chose to keep it as a secret from you, all this while, then it is a kind of deception.

It's over, accept it 

Of course, these things come as a shock, no matter how prepared you are. You would have never imagined she would actually be getting married to someone else whilst you are on the scene! It’s a rather odd conversation to have too. ‘Hey, I think we are over, ya! I am hitched--shaadi mein zaroor aana!’ What is this? Emotions on the tap! I can only imagine how sad you must be, literally letting go of someone so close to you! Tune into the ‘Break Up Song!’

Take some 'me' time

So Ashutosh beta, chalo, whatever has happened, happened. There is no use of crying over the spilled milk! Just indulge into some me-time to get your emotions in place. Wrap it up, dude! Take a short holiday and return only when she is a married woman. It might give you some closure. Or go take up a short course or something you have been planning to do since a long time. Okay puttar, I will tell you a secret. Do you know that break-ups are actually a perfect recipe for a radical makeover? It is the perfect time to focus on fitness, get a new hairstyle or even invest into a chic new set of clothes. Do something for your own self. Let me help you more puttar ji. Can you think of any old hobby or any old plan that you forgot about? Well, now is the time.

Not your fault

The one mistake you must avoid committing is to feel rejected or blame yourself for the break-up. See beta, sometimes things are out of our control. We never expect them to happen but they do. Think of the situation like this. She has not really rejected you – Ashutosh the bf. It’s more like she has just followed family and society norms. However, if you both planned to be married and now she has backed out, then the situation is entirely different – hai na?

Get on with your life

We just discussed what you can do but how about talking about what you ought not to do. First and foremost--no stalking, begging, threatening ityadi. None of this is at all acceptable. Please do not do it. Moreover, throwing pebbles at her window may get you caught on the CCTV! Secondly, promise me, you will not indulge in rona dhona and self-pity. It’s very boring for others, especially your friends. So don’t lose friends as you really need them now. And last but not the least--definitely no showing up at her home or trying to meet her. She is moving on. Your time has come to move on too, puttar. Do what you like to do and do not succumb any pressure. Book that trip, Now!!

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

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