This article was first published on 24th November, 2015.
Auntyji says… Oh ho Gia, you have to break up again with a guy you have already broken up with! Hahaha… Chalo let’s see how to go about this double breakup!
So beta, your bf is very funny. Quite clearly, he is not keen on reading the writing on the wall, “Bhai tera break up ho chukka hai…” And one of the reasons could be you! Yes, you Miss Gia.
You see, what happens is, and I can almost hear you stepping into that territory again, you feel ‘sooooo baaadddd for him’ that you agree to being ‘good friends’ a bit too early. And the only way the other one knows to be ‘good friends’ is to be like you guys used to be, like when you were dating. So you’re pretty much back to square one, ya?
‘Do him a favour’
I am not advocating the Kill Bill route, but perhaps when we decide to break up, we do so for some reasons. You want to get to know yourself better, get over the hurt and heartbreak, get yourself together… And in your equation, there is very little space from the person you want the break away from! As mean as it may sound, do the man a favour!
So now, here it is, you have to have a “talk” and if he is smart enough, he knows it's coming. Anyhow, it’s over due Gia, sometimes it’s good to set boundaries again. But what that also means is that there will be changes for you too.
Once you set the marker down, you too have to adhere to them, dear. Are you ready? It is going to be hard for him.
He is sitting pretty, perhaps in his make-belief world and even that is going to come sinking down like a badly baked cake!
Seat him down, remind him why you guys broke up in the first place, talk about your reasons, not his causes. Tell him what you wanted to achieve, what you have been able to and what not and what more is on your agenda. Acknowledge his support and then remind him that you guys are not a couple any more, so it will help if he stops behaving that way.
Now he knows no other way, toh ab woh kyaa kare bechara… you decide. Still want to go out with him or just meet him at the pub, party, films? Does he still have the keys to your apartment or room? Is he still picking up the newspaper bill, the milk on the way…? Now all that will also have to change a little bit, which means you have to do it yourself Giaji! Ready? Can’t have him run the house while you are running in a different direction.
Be clear and be sure Gia, it may hurt and disturb him, he may even break down. Be sure and be fair towards both of you. OR you can get the colony kids a slogan T-shirt, “Bhai tera break up ho chukka hai!”
To protect the privacy of the author the person in the picture is a model.