Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

My ex behaves like we’re still dating

By Auntyji Tuesday, June 7, 2016 - 15:44
My bf and I broke up about eight months ago. We are still friends, but I get the feeling he wants to be together again. How can I ask him to step back without hurting him? Gia (24), Patna.

This article was first published on 24th November, 2015.

Auntyji saysOh ho Gia, you have to break up again with a guy you have already broken up with! Hahaha… Chalo let’s see how to go about this double breakup!

So beta, your bf is very funny. Quite clearly, he is not keen on reading the writing on the wall, “Bhai tera break up ho chukka hai…” And one of the reasons could be you! Yes, you Miss Gia.

You see, what happens is, and I can almost hear you stepping into that territory again, you feel ‘sooooo baaadddd for him’ that you agree to being ‘good friends’ a bit too early. And the only way the other one knows to be ‘good friends’ is to be like you guys used to be, like when you were dating. So you’re pretty much back to square one, ya?

‘Do him a favour’

I am not advocating the Kill Bill route, but perhaps when we decide to break up, we do so for some reasons. You want to get to know yourself better, get over the hurt and heartbreak, get yourself together… And in your equation, there is very little space from the person you want the break away from! As mean as it may sound, do the man a favour!

So now, here it is, you have to have a “talk” and if he is smart enough, he knows it's coming. Anyhow, it’s over due Gia, sometimes it’s good to set boundaries again. But what that also means is that there will be changes for you too.

Once you set the marker down, you too have to adhere to them, dear. Are you ready? It is going to be hard for him.

He is sitting pretty, perhaps in his make-belief world and even that is going to come sinking down like a badly baked cake!

Rewind, remind

Seat him down, remind him why you guys broke up in the first place, talk about your reasons, not his causes. Tell him what you wanted to achieve, what you have been able to and what not and what more is on your agenda. Acknowledge his support and then remind him that you guys are not a couple any more, so it will help if he stops behaving that way.

Now he knows no other way, toh ab woh kyaa kare bechara… you decide. Still want to go out with him or just meet him at the pub, party, films? Does he still have the keys to your apartment or room? Is he still picking up the newspaper bill, the milk on the way…? Now all that will also have to change a little bit, which means you have to do it yourself Giaji! Ready? Can’t have him run the house while you are running in a different direction.

Be clear and be sure Gia, it may hurt and disturb him, he may even break down. Be sure and be fair towards both of you. OR you can get the colony kids a slogan T-shirt, “Bhai tera break up ho chukka hai!”

To protect the privacy of the author the person in the picture is a model.

Do you agree with Auntyji’s advice? Should Gia have “the talk” with her ex? Join our discussion board now. You can also leave your comments below or on Facebook.

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Comments
Beta jaldi hone se koi baat nahin, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lo- usko time de do. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheeghr patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai . Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , yaani ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activitys sabse zaroori hain. iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein help karta hai. Yeh bhee padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , yaani ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activitys sabse zaroori hain. iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein help karta hai. Yeh bhee padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
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