Analysing my symptoms
I had been on the pill (birth control) for four years and struggled on and off with anxiety and mood swings. They mostly lasted for about a week or so around my period. When I stopped the pill for six months, my mood swings were gone too. I could not connect the dots until I paid the visit to my gynaecologist.
My doctor put me back on the pill when I got diagnosed with a condition called PCOD. This time on another brand. The moment I started the pill, so did my mood swings. This time, however, my symptoms were worse and I would have more bad days than good.
Somedays I had to give myself detailed instructions to get out of bed, other days, I felt more robotic. I would go about doing my daily drill, smiling, laughing even, but asleep.
Connecting the dots
One day as I was blankly browsing my Facebook feed I came across this post on side effects of birth control pills. Suddenly everything made sense.
After seeing the video, I realised that my symptoms seemed to have started around the time I started taking the pill. A string of empowering comments from (women) friends, a good cry and a real talk about how I was feeling and 24 hours later, I stopped the pill. After three consecutive days without the pill, I felt more awake. On the fourth day, I could hear positive voices in my head again. After a few days, I am feeling much more like myself.
I have more energy and feel motivated enough to write this post, and just awake. Phew! I’m not saying ‘and she lived happily ever after’ but at least I feel like I am ready to fight back, to trust my body and let it heal.
Sedated for pleasure?
I know many women struggle with depression as a ‘ side effect’ of the pills, and yet it continues to be prescribed to young women without so much of an afterthought.
I am all for ‘my body my right’, and I will be first in line to fight for women’s rights to contraception, but why do we have to be sedated to enjoy our right to pleasure. If some medicine that men took had even two of the side effects from the long list associated with the pill, it would be banned. And because it’s women, it’s okay?
Is there really no other way? Women are only fertile for six days a month, men are fertile every single day. Could something be done where the burden of an unplanned pregnancy can be shared equally, especially as far as popping pills is concerned?
*Names changed.
*Person in the picture is a model.
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Udaan Collaborative is a network of private sector stakeholders including general practitioner, gynecologist, pharmacists, and organizations who focused on making sexual and reproductive health (SRH) services more accessible and youth-friendly across India. It provides a digital platform with resources like a chatbot, helpline, and access to healthcare providers, aiming to offer young people a safe, private, and non-judgmental space for their health needs.