Can gays turn straight?

Auntyji says... Sumit beta, first of all, thanks for your kind consideration into this topic. No, I am not wondering why you are interested in this issue at all. Your Aunty doesn’t judge. Even more importantly, yad rakhne ki baat hai ki being a gay person is not a disease, so it can’t be cured. Nor is it a crime.

Now let’s get to your question. See betaji, the thing is that all of us don't have to like the opposite sex only. It's not like men who spend too much time with men will turn gay, or the other way around. The same goes for lesbian women. Lesbian women aren’t frigid women who’ve never known the opposite sex. Just because some of them have short hair doesn't mean that they think of themselves as men.

Not a phase

Instead, gay people are just people who are simply emotionally and physically attracted to the same sex. It's almost impossible for anyone to convert or un-convert. You're just born with it. The same way you’re born as a boy or a girl.

Sometimes the cultural environment can have some impact, but eventually very little. Always remember that it's not a phase that one can grow out of. Rather it's the way you are.

In my experience, it is possible that a gay person decides to get married, have sex, and have children with a person of the opposite sex. It’s not that he is not capable to intercourse with a woman, or bear kids. It’s just that he enjoys a different kind of sex. We all have our likes and dislikes. Right beta?

No scientific evidence

More often than not, a married gay person will denote that he or she is suppressing their individual right to have sex or a relationship with the person they desire. Just give them space and time to sort things out. It's not easy being a minority. Sexual minorities have it even tougher.

Marriages etc do not change the fact that they are interested in the same sex. It’s like saying heterosexual people can be turned bisexual or homosexual if they just had sex with the same sex. There is no medical or scientific evidence to support this. And my friend Saraswati also confirms this. No more details for now, but you know what I mean.

Not in our hands

And trust me, a lot of gay people do try out the opposite sex. At a younger age, we are all a bit confused about sexuality. And then there is the pressure from mummy daddy, friends, neighbour uncle and even some aunties about how to behave and who to fall in love with. But you young people don't care. And you shouldn't too.

If you have seen enough Hindi films, you will know that we cannot control who to fall in love with. Just as a poor boy can fall in love with a rich girl and eventually marry her, he can fall for a rich boy too. Quoting another filmi dialogue, it's not in our hands at all! Wahi hota hai jo manzure khuda hota hai.

Why fight?

And as far as experiments are concerned, it's a great thought. We must try and test our theories. But betaji, when it comes to converting gay people to straight, many have tried and have failed.

What is natural cannot be vulgar, so why fight against it? No. Instead let's do a Rooh Afza summit, so people from different sexual orientations can come together and talk about their experiences over cold drinks. Rab rakha ji.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

Have questions? Please ask Love Matters (LM) experts on our discussion forum. Don't forget to check out our Facebook page.