Abhay is a 25-year-old marketing executive in Jaipur. I let it slip in a conversation with Tara that I always find fair-skinned girls hot and happening. Of course, I wanted to take my words back as soon as I let them out! To Tara I was a broadminded, fairness cream-scoffing kind of a guy. But now my dirty, dark secret was out and my so-called modern outlook remained just a façade.
It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. My favourite actresses were always white. My porn stash (which Tara knows about) had only white women. And even the little things like stealing glances, a tad longer than I should have, at fair-skinned girls were all making sense to her now.
'Pristine' colour I finally admitted the truth about my attraction to light-skin and we had an honest heart to heart. I never made the effort to understand what was behind my fixation until Tara confronted me. I mean it isn’t a conscious decision, it’s just a preference. Maybe it’s the years of seeing everyone around me showing their admiration for white skin by saying stuff like, “Kitni gori hai, kitni sundar hai.”
Or the endless onslaught of advertisements, showing confident fair girls and depressed dark-skinned ones. White skin seems so clean and pristine, an almost untouchable quality, which makes me want to touch it even more. I get excited just by the thought of feeling and caressing it!
'White' lust I have no doubt that I’m extremely attracted to Tara. She ticks all the boxes in my mind except for the peaches and cream complexion. More importantly, we get along like a house on fire and love each other.
But Tara raised some valid points. Did I fantasise about light-skinned women while we were having sex? Was I attracted to any of my or her fair friends? Was it lust, a craving that needed to be satisfied?
Fair fantasies And when I thought about it, my truthful answer to all these questions was 'yes.' I have several erotic fantasies about making out with a light-skinned girl. But I’ve never acted upon them. I could have done it any time but my love for Tara wouldn’t let me.
“What if you couldn’t control the urge to have, say, a one-night stand with someone like that?” said a visibly upset and hurt Tara. Despite my best efforts to convince Tara I would never betray her.
'Massive mistake' We are not seeing each other for the time being. “Even if you won’t act upon your desire, you’ll still be depriving yourself of something you want. You’ll be frustrated and it’ll only worsen our relationship and sex life. Figure out what you want and I’m going to do the same. If we’re meant to be then we’ll know soon enough. For now, it’s over between us,” said Tara in our last talk.
I had no idea that my seemingly harmless fantasy could lead to us breaking up and I feel devastated. Our close friends are certain the break-up is a massive mistake. There isn’t a day that goes by where I feel guilty or think I’ll never find a girl like Tara. However, for now my cousin, Ashish’s, advice seems to be the most sensible. “It’s better than getting married and then having regrets, brother. You both would end up miserable. Find out what you want. If it’s a gori girl you want to sleep with then get it out of your system! And if it isn’t, then convince Tara with all you’ve got to get her back,” he said. Additional photo credit: PathDoc
The man pictured in this image is not Abhay. Do you think one should choose their partner based on skin colour? What do you feel about the obsession with fairness? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on on Facebook.