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Cheaters’ diaries: True stories

By Josephine Dias Sunday, January 17, 2016 - 23:26
Why do we cheat on our partners? Out of boredom, lust or some deeper emotional reasons? Love Matters asked some cheaters why they did what they did…

‘Accidental movie sweetheart’

- Anita Gupta, 25, sales executive from Pune.

It was an accident. I was out for a movie alone and enjoying some time away from the daily hassle of my domestic life. My husband was away on yet another business trip. He generally spends most of the month travelling, leaving me alone in a big house. So I spend as much time as I can outside.

I attend parties and go to movies alone. On this special day, I happened to be sitting next to another solitary movie-goer. Initially we barely glanced at each other. Once the movie started, I began talking to him. I can’t keep quiet when I am overwhelmed by something on the screen.

By the end of the movie, we had become the annoying couple at the theatre that talks too much. That movie led to many other movies together and our dates continue to this day. He may just be a fling but he showers me with attention. I also have a companion to keep me warm on those many, long cold nights.

 

‘She is my soul mate’

-Tanmay Banerjee, 36, digital consultant from Hyderabad.

I’m a very rational person except when it comes to love. I believe in what the books and movies tell us – there is a person you are meant to be with. I found that one person, but five years after I got married and had a child.

I feel guilty for sharing a deeper connection with a woman who isn’t my wife. When I am with her, my hand in hers, the world feels right. Around her, things appear brighter than they are and I can forget all my troubles.

Even if we meet only for a few minutes – those precious feelings and memories sustain me when I am low. Is that not love? How could I deny this physical and chemical reaction? I love my wife but I love her more. She is my soul mate.

 

‘He was too possessive!’

-Tanya Priya, 23, student from Mumbai.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for five years now. We met in college and fell in love. At that time, I was flattered by his interest in me. He would accompany me everywhere, constantly call or text me and would also ask dozens of questions.

Then I realised that his love and care about my well-being was turning into him exerting control over me and my life. It began to suffocate me. I couldn’t do anything without him knowing about it.

At this point in life, I met another man who valued my space. I took full advantage of it. I would switch off my phone when I was with him and used work as an excuse to my ex-boyfriend. We only slept together once and my ex-boyfriend found out about us. He was terribly upset and broke up instantly, but at least I am free.

‘Breaking the monotony of my boring marriage’

-Mrinalini Mishra, 32, advertising executive from Delhi.

For some, married life may get boring after some years. My marriage was an arranged affair. I had no say in choosing the man I was to spend the rest of my life with.

The initial few years were decent enough – we spoke and travelled a lot. Then monotony hit. When we were at home together, we didn’t have much to say to each other. We would remain immersed in our phones or the TV.

We soon started spending more time at our jobs. Possibly to avoid the situation at home. I started working late and usually had a few co-workers keeping me company.

One of them took fancy to me, and before we knew it, we were spending a lot of time together. I first got intimate with him in our office conference room, after a late night deadline. Our brief affair ended a few months later, when he was transferred to a different city. I wouldn’t say I loved him, but he broke the monotony in my life.

 

*All names have been changed on request.

Have you ever cheated on your partner? Share your reasons and experiences on our discussion board or on Facebook.

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