arranges marriage

How we fell in love before our ‘arranged’ marriage

By Josephine Dias Monday, March 7, 2016 - 10:47
When Sonali received a marriage proposal, she was uninterested in it. She always wanted to have a love marriage! Read how she changed her mind on a short trip with her partner.

Sonali Bhave (name changed) is a 33-year-old architect from Shimla. She shares her love story with us. 

Not my type

The first time I met my husband was through our parents. Frankly speaking, I didn’t consider him my type back then. If I had met him in the world outside this arranged marriage setup, I wouldn’t have given him a second glance.

I found him unattractive at the time. He wore glasses, had a lean body and was very shy. I was attracted to the bad boys. They seem out of your reach, act all cool and mysterious to eventually leave you heartbroken. I wanted to have a love marriage

Win my heart 

His proposal came to me a few months after I got out of a disastrous engagement. It had left me devastated. I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall in love again. He already liked me and was convincing me for marriage. I said no.

My parents conveyed my decision to him. His parents continued their search for another bride but he didn’t give up. Few days later, he told me that after meeting me, he was convinced that I was the ‘lady of his life.’ But he knew he had to win my heart.

Just friends?

Soon he asked me if we could be friends. We were living in different cities so our interaction was limited to chatting on Facebook. He turned out to be a good conversationalist. He would make me laugh and patiently listen to all my stories.

The chats turned into long calls through the night. I knew he was in love with me. Soon I started developing feelings for him too. However, he was still my friend. He came to my city to meet me a couple of times. Our parents didn’t know we were speaking to or meeting each other. He constantly kept refusing to see other girls.

Weekend getaway

Some eight months passed by and we still remained in touch. Once again he decided to bring up the marriage proposal. We had a serious conversation around it. He told me that if I didn’t feel the same way about him, he would be happy to move on. I told him I was unsure about my feelings. He then asked if we could go out and spend some time together. I agreed. I’ve always believed that if I can travel with someone, I can definitely live with them.

It was a very short trip over the weekend to a nearby beach town. We drank, ate good food and visited villages around through the day. During nights, we sat on the beach talking till the sun rose, got crazy at karaoke bars, bought a lot of colourful clothes and generally had a fantastic time.

Mutual feelings

Spending time with him made me realise that he was not just caring but funny and intelligent too. Despite his family background, he wasn’t conservative and sought my opinion and decision on everything. He was always respectful towards me. We slept together the first time on that trip. The sex wasn’t electrifying but it was comfortable.

After spending a week together, I knew I could share my life with him. My feelings for him grew stronger. He proposed again and I finally said yes. It was a love marriage for me! We got married a year later and it has been seven happy years together.

Do you have a special story to share about your relationship or marriage proposal? Did you have a love marriage? Write to us on Facebook or if you have any questions, visit our discussion forum.

Did you find this useful?

I eliminate all the doubts regarding the thing that can love happen in arranged marriage? I belonged to a conservative family. My marriage was an arranged one. I have even never met the groom, neither has he met me. He chose my photo out of many. I agreed to his. His family came to our house. I got selected. Then, my family visited his and he got selected too. I was a medical graduate and he was an eye doctor. Almost 5 years elder to me. I never realized when the love happened between us. I guessed it was between the sleepless nights spent talking or the medical cases of him discussed with deep attention or the simple connectivity that has developed between us. He is the best friend to me.
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