First Time Sex Education
© Love Matters | Rita Lino

First time sex

When people talk about the ‘first time’, they usually mean the first time you have full intercourse. And that’s what people mean by ‘losing your virginity’.

But for you a first time might also mean your first kiss, or the first time you masturbate someone or someone masturbates you. Or the first time with your new partner. 

Whatever first time it is, it’s something you’ll never forget. It’s exciting and special. That’s why it’s important to make sure it’s a really nice experience.

How can you make sure your first time is a good experience? We've put together:

Start when you feel ready

There is only one person who can decide if you’re ready to have sex for the first time: you. Listen to your own feelings and don’t let yourself be talked into anything.

Do it with someone you trust

Do it with someone you feel relaxed with. Take time for each other, say sweet or exciting things to each other. You’ll increase the chance that the first time will feel good to both of you.

Curious about the places that feel nice? Discover your own and your partner’s sensitive places!

Choose a nice place

Do it in a place you feel comfortable and where you won’t be disturbed. Make a nice atmosphere, perhaps with music and candles.

Build up slowly

You don’t have to do everything straight away. Build up the excitement slowly, so you both get aroused. When a girl get’s sexually aroused, her vagina becomes moist. This is important, because otherwise intercourse would hurt.

For three-quarters of all young people the voyage of sexual discovery goes in this order: first kiss, caressing under clothes, masturbating each other, making love naked, and finally intercourse.

Listen to your feelings

Once you’ve started, you might realise that you actually don’t want to do it. Don’t ignore this feeling. You can always stop, whatever the other person says. Do things at your own pace. Be clear. If you say ‘no’ but at the same time keep kissing and caressing, your partner won’t be able to tell what you really want.

Pay attention to your partner

You don’t have sex just for yourself. You have sex together. So pay attention to your partner. Is he or she enjoying it? Ask. Is he or she nervous? Try to reassure your partner by saying loving things. Does your partner feel insecure about you seeing him or her naked? Give compliments. Can you tell your partner doesn’t want to go any further? Respect his or her wishes. You can really enjoy making love without having intercourse.

Talk to each other

The first time you probably won’t know quite what you should do. Pay attention to the way your partner responds. Does your partner moan? Does he or she guide your hand to a particular place? These are signs that you’re heading in the right direction! But often the signals aren’t so clear. So talk to each other about what you’d like to try or not. Many people find talking about it really arousing too.

If you are still confused about making love to a woman, watch our animated video here...

Ways to make love to her

Use a condom

Always use a condom. That way you not only prevent unwanted pregnancy but also protect against sexually transmitted diseases. The pill only stops the girl from getting pregnant.

Accidents with condoms are nearly always the result of using them wrongly. So read the instructions carefully and use one to practice. Boys can practice on themselves, girls can practice by putting a condom on a banana, for example.

Don’t pretend to have an orgasm

There’s no rule to say you have to have an orgasm. Don’t pretend to have an orgasm. It’s not fair to your partner. Anyway, making love without having an orgasm can also be wonderful.

It’s OK to laugh

The first time you’ll probably both be a bit nervous. You want everything to be perfect and the first time to be amazing. So you might both be a bit tense and serious. Try to keep the mood light. Humour and sex are a perfectly good mix!

Click here to read more about first times stories:
"Not like in the movies"
M
um's morning after pill hunt

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Comments
Deepak bete, yadi yeh sex unsafe tha toh yes ismein pregnancy ke chances ho sakte hain. Iske liye phoren ek home pregnancy test lijiye. Phir kisi vishagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se milo aur dekho kya ho sakta hai. Iske illava aap FPAI clinic se bhee sampark kar sakte hai jiski jaankari aapko iski website pe mil jayegi. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy https://www.fpaindia.org/ Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Surajit bete, sex ki ichchha hona bohot hi common hai par hum aapki ismein koi sahayata nahi kar sakte! Lekin aap hastmethun try kar saktay hain kyunki hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
No, it's not possible to get pregnant through oral sex. It'd necessary for the male's sperm to reach the ovum in the female body for which penile vagina sex is required. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, ‘Just Ask’ https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hi, beta. Hum aapki kya sahayata kar sakte hain? Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta jaldi ho ne se koi baat nahi, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Relax Rahul bête! Hastmaithun ek safe aur surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahi hoti. Yeh bhee padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ma'am mai apna ling saaf karte samay thodha jyada bhavuk hone ke karan, jahan foreskin judi hoti hai us jagah se bleeding hone laga. Aur thode der baad rukh gaya. Isme koi tension vali baat nahi hai na?
Bete is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha safai bani raheye, yadi aisaye karney mein koi zyada takleef ya blood aa raaha hai toh ek doctor se mill lijiye iskaye baare mein. Aur zyada yaha padhiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis https://lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/male-body/mens-hygiene Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Listen bete do keep in mind that engaging in sex with an Aunty may seem fun and casual but can turn into a very difficult situation, such as social embarrassment, unwanted pregnancy, blackmail. For ideas around sex, check these links: https://lovematters.in/en/news/should-i-try-sex-older-woman https://lovematters.in/en/making-love/turned-on-by-older-women-is-that-normal If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask" . https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi problem ya beemari nahi hoti hai bête. Yeh bhee padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Rahul beta jaldi ho ne se koi baat nahi, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Mam mera sex karne ka man bhut hota hai .Kai samay tak foreplay bhi kiya per lig mai tanav nai hota. Jis se bibi bhi santust nai hoti. Or hastmaithun 10 varsh ki umar se kar raha hu. Aj mai 40 ka ho gya hu. Sadhi hue 5 sal ho gye . 1 boy hai 3 year old.
Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahi hoti hai bete. Yeh padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating Aur bête kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hai na? Tension, stress ya tanav ke karan ling mein tanav ki kami ki samasya ho sakti hai. yeh samjh lijiye ki ling mein tanav ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai. yaha padh lijiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Manoj beta jaldi ho ne se koi baat nahi, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sorry bête! Hum is bare me aapki koi madad nahi kar sakte hai agar aapke paas koi anya sawal hai to puchh sakte hai. Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bete kya jankari chhaiye apko? Saath hi Is website pe bahut see jaan kari de gayee hai use padh lijiye. Hum humeshan yahan hai aapke liye. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bête Pehli baar sex kartaye samaye kya karna hai kya nahi karna hai, aur first sex ko kese theek tarah se kiya jaye is bare mein aap yaha detail mein padh lijieye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex Saath hi sex activity mein alag-alag tariko ka istemal kartay huay isse kese aur majjaydaar banana hai is baaray mein yaha padhein: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/ways-make-love https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sandy beta jaldi ho ne se koi baat nahi, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhee nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. Lekin jahan tak HIV ki baat hai agar aapko sandeh hai toh aap shadi ke baad apna aur apni patni ka ek HIV test karwa lijiye, kisi panjikrit lab ya sarkari asptaal se. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/sti-prevention/safe-or-unsafe https://lovematters.in/hi/birth-control/we-had-sex-without-condoms-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Gautam bete sorry! Yeh suvidha toh upalabadh nahi hai lekin aap humare DB pr apni samasya likh sakte hai. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Thanks a lot for your website! So important to educate, learn and know about Sex with love and respect ! Thanx thanx thanx !!!!
Bete oral sex mein koi samasya nahi hoti lekin oral sex ya mukh maithun ka sabse ehem pehlu hai atyant saaf safai – dono partners ke liye, iska dhyaan rakhiye aur behtar hoga yadi condom ka isteml kiya jaye. All the best beta. https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/ways-to-make-love/oral-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/ways-to-make-love/oral-sex-myths-busted Aur please zra sahi language ka istemaal kijiye..abhi humne theek kar diya hai.. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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