First Time Sex Education
© Love Matters | Rita Lino

First time sex

When people talk about the ‘first time’, they usually mean the first time you have full intercourse. And that’s what people mean by ‘losing your virginity’.

But for you a first time might also mean your first kiss, or the first time you masturbate someone or someone masturbates you. Or the first time with your new partner. 

Whatever first time it is, it’s something you’ll never forget. It’s exciting and special. That’s why it’s important to make sure it’s a really nice experience.

How can you make sure your first time is a good experience? We've put together:

Start when you feel ready

There is only one person who can decide if you’re ready to have sex for the first time: you. Listen to your own feelings and don’t let yourself be talked into anything.

Do it with someone you trust

Do it with someone you feel relaxed with. Take time for each other, say sweet or exciting things to each other. You’ll increase the chance that the first time will feel good to both of you.

Curious about the places that feel nice? Discover your own and your partner’s sensitive places!

Choose a nice place

Do it in a place you feel comfortable and where you won’t be disturbed. Make a nice atmosphere, perhaps with music and candles.

Build up slowly

You don’t have to do everything straight away. Build up the excitement slowly, so you both get aroused. When a girl get’s sexually aroused, her vagina becomes moist. This is important, because otherwise intercourse would hurt.

For three-quarters of all young people the voyage of sexual discovery goes in this order: first kiss, caressing under clothes, masturbating each other, making love naked, and finally intercourse.

Listen to your feelings

Once you’ve started, you might realise that you actually don’t want to do it. Don’t ignore this feeling. You can always stop, whatever the other person says. Do things at your own pace. Be clear. If you say ‘no’ but at the same time keep kissing and caressing, your partner won’t be able to tell what you really want.

Pay attention to your partner

You don’t have sex just for yourself. You have sex together. So pay attention to your partner. Is he or she enjoying it? Ask. Is he or she nervous? Try to reassure your partner by saying loving things. Does your partner feel insecure about you seeing him or her naked? Give compliments. Can you tell your partner doesn’t want to go any further? Respect his or her wishes. You can really enjoy making love without having intercourse.

Talk to each other

The first time you probably won’t know quite what you should do. Pay attention to the way your partner responds. Does your partner moan? Does he or she guide your hand to a particular place? These are signs that you’re heading in the right direction! But often the signals aren’t so clear. So talk to each other about what you’d like to try or not. Many people find talking about it really arousing too.

If you are still confused about making love to a woman, watch our animated video here...

Ways to make love to her

Use a condom

Always use a condom. That way you not only prevent unwanted pregnancy but also protect against sexually transmitted diseases. The pill only stops the girl from getting pregnant.

Accidents with condoms are nearly always the result of using them wrongly. So read the instructions carefully and use one to practice. Boys can practice on themselves, girls can practice by putting a condom on a banana, for example.

Don’t pretend to have an orgasm

There’s no rule to say you have to have an orgasm. Don’t pretend to have an orgasm. It’s not fair to your partner. Anyway, making love without having an orgasm can also be wonderful.

It’s OK to laugh

The first time you’ll probably both be a bit nervous. You want everything to be perfect and the first time to be amazing. So you might both be a bit tense and serious. Try to keep the mood light. Humour and sex are a perfectly good mix!

Click here to read more about first times stories:
"Not like in the movies"
M
um's morning after pill hunt

Did you find this useful?

Comments
md.rasheeduddin
Sun, 03/29/2015 - 10:49
my marriaage on june nice wife warangal districts . idont no sex .in the night dont sleep .i want sex details .
Pehli baar sex kartaye samaye kya karna hai kya nahi karna hai, aur first sex ko kese theek tarah se kiya jaye is bare mein aap yaha detail mein padh lijieye : http://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts saath hi sex activity mein alag-alag tariko ka istemal kartay huay isse kese aur majjaydaar banana hai is baaray mein yaha padhein: http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/ways-make-love http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love
some time use in sex but he is cheat know but i wil marry other boy then he is dout for me im already use in sex how is gezz to boy
The only way one can make out or guess is if the hymen has broken, which can be for any reason actually. No one can know anyhow about your virginity unless you yourself didn’t admit or tell them about it ok? So don’t worry. But make sure you are having safe sex. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/faqs-hymen-and-virginity
Zaroor poochhiye, beta. Hum poori koshish karenge ki aapko sahi jaankaari ya salaah de sakein.Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
my wife is scary about having sex for first time. i don't have an idea how to convince her. i tried a lot but no use. Can i know any other tips to have sex for 1st time.
Bête Pehli baar sex kartaye samaye kya karna hai kya nahi karna hai, aur first sex ko kese theek tarah se kiya jaye is bare mein aap yaha detail mein padh lijieye : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts Saath hi sex activity mein alag-alag tariko ka istemal kartay huay isse kese aur mazzedaar banana hai is baaray mein yaha padhein: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/ways-make-love https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Chandan beta jaldi hone se koi baat nahin, don’t worry. Toh sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lo- usko time de do. Aur yadi shareer mein uttejna adhik ho, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheegra hi patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisi stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay, yaani bete ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaen karna , jinse dono ko anand mile, apne partner ki uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehle jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Ye bhi padhnaa ap: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/en/news/i-am-suffering-from-premature-ejaculation https://lovematters.in/en/news/premature-ejaculation-couples-problem
Aaryan bete, Hastmaithun ek safe/surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jinmein aap samya bitaa sakte hain. jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies…ok? Yeh bhi padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating https://lovematters.in/en/news/i-could-masturbate-anytime-anywhere Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta koi baat nahi, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Dear Kevin, read about this here: https://lovematters.in/en/news/what-women-penis https://lovematters.in/en/news/worried-your-penis-too-small If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Vatan singh
Wed, 11/09/2016 - 11:25
Hii me jab bhi sex krta hu sirf 2 min. M hi ho jata h. Again sex krne ke liye bahut time m ready hota h like as 25-30 min. But in second time 3-4 min. M hi ho jata h plzzz koi solution btao
Vatan beta, relax! Jaldi viryapaat hone se koi baat nahin, don’t worry. Toh sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lo- usko time de do. Aur yadi shareer mein uttejna adhik ho, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheegra hi patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisi stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay, yaani bete ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaen karna , jinse dono ko anand mile, apne partner ki uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehle jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Auntyji
Sat, 06/03/2017 - 00:52

In reply to by Endadul sk

Hi, beta. How are you? How may we help you? If you would like to join in on a further discussion on any topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aunty ji me and my girlfriend is going to having sex for the first time and both of us are virgin, Kya hume condom use karna chahiye, aur Maine suna hai ki boys ko bhi first time pe pain hota hai..
Ji haan, Shubham bete. Aapko condom ka istemaal zaroor karna hi chahiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/condoms https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/using-condoms https://lovematters.in/hi/news/using-condoms-dos-and-donts Bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhi nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/news/safe-sex-dos-and-donts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sumit bete, yadi shareer mein uttejna adhik ho, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheegra hi patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisi stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay, yaani bete ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaen karna , jinse dono ko anand mile, apne partner ki uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehle jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Relax, Golu beta! Ling ke size mein ek apna teda pann hona is quite common bete. Don't worry, isse koi samsaya nahin hoti hai. Yeh padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizes Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Me and my gf is going to have sex for the first time and both of us are virgin Maine suna h ki larkiyo k tarah larki hi pain hota h first time pe, aur Kya hume condom use karna chahiye.pizza help me
Shubham bete, is dauran durd ho bhi sakta hai aur nahi bhi. Bete durd ki wajah ho sakti hain penis ki skin Yadi woh theek tarah se peeche nahi hui hogi toh yeh durd ka karan ban sakti hai. Isliye is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha saafai bani raheye. Iske alawa sex mein dryness bhi durd ki wajh ban sakti hai.Jis bare mein poori jaankari aapyeh link padh kar hasil kar sakte hain. https://lovematters.in/en/news/will-my-foreskin-hurt-when-i-first-have-sex For happy sex https://lovematters.in/hi/news/secret-happy-sex-right-lubricant Ji haan, condom ka istemaal zaroor karein. Bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhi nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/using-condoms https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/condoms Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
I have sex fear how much pain a girl have to bear when u experience sex for the first time my bf had fingerd me so many times ppl say that if u have done fingring than first time sex will not b painfull that much is that true?
If you are mentally, emotionally and physically ready to have sex, it need not hurt too much. Relax, and take it slow. Advice him to take it slow, as well. Use lubrication. And whatever you do, make sure to use a condom. https://lovematters.in/en/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/en/news/how-can-i-please-my-wife-bed If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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