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He comes too soon, what can I do?

By Auntyji Tuesday, June 24, 2014 - 11:41
My boyfriend comes too soon. He feels apologetic and sheepish about it. I don’t say much, but well, the truth is I’m not so happy with the situation. Is there something I can do, or he can do? – Jasleen (27), Patiala.

Auntyji says… Oh ho puttar, this is not just your boyfriend’s problem, beta, it may well be the problem of over half the country’s male population. Let me dedicate this column to those innumerable lovers who finished before they began!

Too hot to handle
So, you see ladies, and my dear Jasleen, you can begin by taking this as a bit of a compliment, that you are so super sexy and cute, what chances does he have against that cuteness?!

I can almost hear you girls go, “Ya right!” This cuteness is not getting you very far, is it? But the truth is, darling gals, that in a nutshell, premature ejaculation actually occurs if the man is super excited, and your cuteness quotient may well be to blame!

Sexpectations
Now the problem with the 'premature ejaculator' is the expectation people have from him. So the problem is, the guy is often burdened with a whole gamut of feelings and more often than not they all aid in worsening his condition.

 

Men can be blasé and say, "Who cares, I got my rocks off."  Or, “It’s not my problem. I was super in bed.” No loser, you were not. Keep your spunk in your trunk, dude! Get this right, girls. If you are in the sex act together, then the outcomes have to benefit both parties involved, not just the Quick Gun Murugun!

Pleasure is as much your right as his! Asking – no, hoping – for satisfaction in bed, doesn’t make you a sleazy slut. So let’s say your man can’t be bothered about your end result, well then, he’s not going to be very bothered about many other end results about you either! You better see the end of him pretty damn quick, I say!

Better luck next time
Apologies, sorries, next times... blah blah blah... show what you got, baby! The winger! Forever chun chun... “Sorry baby, I just cant hold myself,” “Sorry baby, I just can’t get enough of you,” “Sorry baby, am not man enough for you,” “Sorry baby, but you take so long....”

Takes the wind out of sails alright, does it not? Gotcha there, didn’t he?! All you got left, not wanting to hurt his feelings and manhood, is, “It’s ok darling, next time!” There is no next time madam. It’s here and now.

Fix it, mister
So what can he do? LOTS! Very often, men think they have some serious medical problem and you can’t imagine the kinds of myths they operate under. Poor blokes! Some of them even contemplate suicide – loss of manhood you see! Ya crazyyy! So here’s what.

There are so many techniques and methods to control that off-target shooting. Get your guys to check out, start-stop method, get him to use a condom and get him to try the squeeze technique. Not all in one go, but rather in any way that works best for him and see where it takes you.

The point is – please don’t let him off the hook by not wanting to hurt him because let me tell you – this ‘large heartedness’ is not going to last. Sooner or later you are going to resent him for it, if not already and like we all know about resentment – it stews and comes out in ways which can cause irreversible damage!

Pacing, not racing!
But actually and really, it’s all about your sexual timing and pacing. He gets excited faster – a bit of that is in their physiology. Brakes please. He has full control on that, so don’t let him tell you otherwise.

Focus on the partner, you in this case, find their pleasure zones, do stuff that tips them over the edge, not on the edge! His focus should be you and not himself and once you are well-aroused he can jump into the act. None of this works in one go – all at once, but it’s a pattern you have to get into... It takes some doing, mainly from him. Once you get into a more reliable rhythm, you can then try and innovate and experiment.

And finally – communicate. Tell him what you like, what you want. Tell him what builds you up and that yes, it takes you longer. A bit of that is in your physiology and what he can do to help you get going... Tragically this may also work as an aphrodisiac, as sex talk often does. But hey, focus my man, focus, show us the action, not just spurts of it!

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

Has your partner ever suffered from premature ejaculation? How did you deal with it? Leave your experiences below or on Facebook.

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Comments
yamini gupta
Fri, 06/27/2014 - 14:59
aunty g , i have done sev with my boyfriend before marriage , bt now i hve to get marry to another man,, can my husband will come to knoe about my viriginity .. plz helpp
Aunty jee,mera husbnd ka sex time boht kam he.etna kam jetna 2 mnt b nahe.and i am not satisfied evry time. .aunty ji,mra husbnd mre body ke payas nahe buja skta. . .i m feelng very bad..plz help me kindly.so that to extnd hs sex duration.thanks
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