Auntyji says… Ahahah beta Sonu, what a wonderful thing you have said in the end... “lose love over sex.” Are they related or totally exclusive of each other? Let’s get started…
Achcha ji, in his defence, he is just suggesting it na, it’s not as if he is insisting... am I right? He is saying, “Let’s try.” He is not saying, “You just have to.” Hai na? However, does he know what you feel about it? Does he know your doubts and discomfort? If yes, then maybe he needs to back off a little, kyun?
Not for all
This brings us to the essential question: What purpose do blue films or porn serve? Let us be very sure about one thing, porn does not come with the tag, “For educational purposes only.” One may get information and ideas (many misleading) out of it, but that is not the sole purpose, is it now?
Porn can be fun, exciting, thrilling and it can be ever so raunchy! All great! It’s super if it is used to help build the excitement in sex, to give new ideas, to shed one’s inhibitions... Yes to all that. Yet, beta, it’s very personal, it’s very individual in whether or not people like it. In fact, many don’t.
Also, most of the porn out there is really degrading towards women, so most women find it hard to get their hands on porn that suits their taste. But there is some female-friendly porn or porna in the market too.
Copy cat
Now to your question – if it is even possible to “copy” blue films, can we do what they do? It’s a bit of a yes and no... Well, it’s a film! It’s not as if you are running around trees singing songs in real life, are you? It’s also not as if you are jumping off a train, bouncing off a massive wall and jumping on to a moving water boat, are you?
No sir, not so. That happens in films only! Same with porn films.
They are real to the extent that they have real people doing most of the things you see. Many, many of them are surely a product of filming and editing... of a lot of cut and paste. And that my dear, is not going to happen in real life, let me break that bubble!
And one more thing, those massive, firm breasts you see on screen as well as the gigantic, erect penises aren’t necessarily ‘real.’ A lot of porn actors go through surgeries to get there. Don’t let these images make you feel self-conscious.
Win-win situation
Having said all this, Sonu, maybe what the man is saying is that the sex between you two is getting, well, boring? Repetitive? That you can definitely think of changing, my dear. You both – let me stress on both – need to discuss it, chat about it and rev it up!
Look up books and websites that depict newer positions for better sex, see what you feel about them and then slowly try them out... See where that goes. You see, as I often say, sex is not just an activity, done quietly in your bedroom, once the sun sets, after dinner, with the lights off. It can be just the opposite! Try different times, rooms, places, try different positions, foreplay, after-play and even role-play!
What is the man missing? Find out and both of you work at it. Let me tell you darling, if he is an equal partner and he too pulls up his socks, then it’s only a win-win for both of you, is it not!
Love and sex
As for the insisting on sex bit, Sonu, there are times when a girl has to decide how much she is ready to “adjust” and what’s a “compromise” she can live with. This is not the irritating habit of, “He leaves the shower curtain dripping!” It’s about you and your body and what you are ok with. This can be a deal maker or even the breaker, Sonu...
And it links ever so closely to what you said about love over sex. But sex can also tell us a lot about the person we are in love and intimate with, things you never knew. Like that one guy who totally took his girlfriend by surprise by asking her for sexual acts she never thought he even knew of. A different person than what we know.
Can one deal with that? Once the sun comes up or the lights come on, think about it!
My last few words, if you really love each other, quit the shyness in bed, worth every minute, but it is your body and your right to draw the line on what you are game with and what you aren’t... That doesn’t toss his love out of the window, does it?
To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.
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