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Women who have more orgasms: what’s their secret?

By Sarah Moses Wednesday, October 25, 2017 - 18:44
Don’t orgasm as often as your man? Recent research reveals what the two of you can do about it.

Heterosexual men orgasm way more often than heterosexual women. Researchers call this the ‘orgasm gap’, and it’s clearly not a good thing. It’s not the only orgasm gap, either: lesbian women have more orgasms than heterosexual women, and straight guys get off more often than lesbians.

Determined to do something to close these gaps, and to learn more about why they exist, a group of US researchers came up with a list of 30 different traits and behaviours that could be linked to having an orgasm. The list included things like wearing sexy lingerie, asking for what you want in bed, and having oral sex. The researchers then recruited over 50,000 heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual men and women to see how often they climaxed in the past month and which of the 30 traits and behaviours were most linked to getting off.

Lots of oral sex

Heterosexual men reach orgasm 95 percent of the time, while for heterosexual women the figure is only about 65 percent of the time, the surveys confirmed. Lesbians fall somewhere between the two at 86 percent.

So what are the people who reach orgasm more often doing differently to achieve all that ecstasy? Well, for one thing, they’re getting lots of oral sex. This is true for all sexual orientations except for heterosexual men. Women who say they get off all or most of the time are more likely to have partners who regularly go down on them than women who don’t orgasm often, the study found.

Though oral sex (clitoral stimulation through tongue or lips) is the one thing that really does it for most women, those who combine several different sexual acts are much more likely to orgasm, the research showed.

Formula for orgasm?

Curious to see if there’s a magical mix that all but guarantees a woman’s orgasm, the researchers analysed the data. Sure enough, they found one. The top formula for orgasm seems to be this: os + f + dk = o. That’s oral sex plus fingering plus deep kissing. This combination always or usually led to an orgasm for 80 per cent of the heterosexual women in the study.

There are also other things, not just to do with sex, which separate heterosexual women who orgasm all the time from those who don’t, the surveys also revealed. Perhaps not surprisingly, relationship satisfaction is a big one. So too is communication – women who ask for what they want in bed and praise their partners when they get it are no strangers to regular orgasms.

Apart from that, the study also found there was a link between having more orgasms and being open to a string of other sexy things – from making steamy phone calls, to wearing sexy underwear, acting out fantasies, and trying anal play.

Top ten tips for women to have more orgasms?

Well, sorry, there's not exactly a top ten tips. There’s certainly a top list of activities that women who climax a lot are more likely to get up to. But that doesn’t mean if you do these things you’ll have more orgasms. However… there’s certainly no harm in trying!

Women who have more orgasms:

  1. Receive more oral sex
  2. Have sex for longer
  3. Are happier with their relationship
  4. Ask for what they want in bed and praise their partner when they do things well
  5. Call or email to tease about doing something sexual
  6. Wear sexy lingerie
  7. Try new sex positions
  8. Try anal stimulation
  9. Act out fantasies
  10. Indulge in sexy talk and express love during sex

Reference: Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample. Arch Sex Behav. (2017) Published online Feb 17.
This article was originally published on 10 May 2017.

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