‘It is awkward if you do not climax!’
Tanya Agrawal, 19, engineering student, Delhi
Imagine you’re making out with your crush. It is hot and wild. The foreplay is intense and soon he is inside you. Then you realise, with all the wisdom you gained from having sex twice before that this boy is a few seconds away from coming. But you are nowhere near an orgasm. Do you then just lie there with a blank expressionless face?
When caught in such a situation, it’s easier for me to just pretend that I am coming too. Besides, I think teenagers don’t really understand that the girl is faking it. If you like the guy and want to meet him again, you have to fake it.
‘To flatter his ego’
Roshni Pinto, 28, writer, Guwahati
When you’re dating, you know the pressure that comes with having sex for the first time. For instance, I really like this person and if I tell him the truth, it may turn him off. I may never see him again.
Sometimes it works to make an impression or flatter his ego because he is the nicest thing you’ve met all week. Plus he is trying really hard too. I will do anything to make sure he comes so that he feels good and remembers me. It’s a silly thing but I’ve done it so often. Sometimes, I find it difficult to open up to a stranger about what I like, especially if we barely know each other.
‘I don’t want to reveal I can’t come easily’
Menaka Singh, 35, entrepreneur, Mumbai
There are times when I feel ashamed for not being able to come. It is not that my partner isn’t trying, but even if he does, it takes me so long to orgasm that I just give up and fake it. I’ve always had this issue. It usually takes a lot to get me to an orgasm but most guys I’ve been with don’t understand it.
Some take it as a challenge to prove their masculinity. The harder they try, the worse it gets for me. So in order to make them stop and avoid any unpleasant discussions, I just fake it. It is easier.
‘Another daily chore’
Brenda Mathias, housewife, Goa
When you’ve been with someone for a long time, there are times when sex almost feels like another daily chore. For the past six years, it is something my husband and I end up doing every night before falling asleep. Sometimes even in the morning. It’s enjoyable and fun when the mood is set right. If one of you is in the mood, but the other is not, that’s when the problem starts.
Sometimes I just get tired because the whole process takes so long. I cannot say no but I’ve also had an exhausting day. So it’s better to give signals that I am about to come. It’s over within seconds and I can move to my corner of the bed and go to sleep.
All names have been changed on request. The persons in the picture are models. This article was first published on August 16, 2016.