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Breaking up: do’s and don’ts

A bad relationship can sometimes leave you with no other option but to break up. It could be the best way ahead for you as well as your partner. If you're the one giving the bad news, expect it to be tough. Tips to help you.

Do…

  • Do your homework
    Know why you’re breaking up. If your partner isn't expecting this piece of bad news, you'll have to end up doing a lot of explaining. Plus, it will also give you a great opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and find out if a break-up is what you really want.
  • Do it in person
    Tell your partner the bad news face to face, not over email, SMS, telephone or Skype, unless the situation absolutely demands it. Meeting them in person before the relationship ends will offer closure, which is psychologically important to move on.
  • Do it in a place that’s comfortable for your partner
    A crowded restaurant with a lot of strangers around might be intimidating for your partner, when you're talking about such a sensitive issue. Pick a place that makes them feel safe enough to express their emotions.
  • Be prepared for the worst reaction
    Being dumped is perhaps one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. So don’t be surprised if your partner starts yelling, crying, arguing or just storms out on you. Handle the situation calmly, accept their reactions by understanding the feelings of hurt underneath them. 

Don’t…

  • Lie
    Be honest with your partner when you’re about to end the relationship. Tell them exactly what you felt was wrong in the relationship. This could be harsh but equally important for them to learn. It's only fair that they know where it went wrong.
  • Be cruel
    Break-ups are terrible by nature. Don’t go out of your way to make it more hurtful. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be vindictive and cruel. Try to word the truth delicately.
  • Be ambiguous
    Don’t leave your partner in doubt. If you don’t mean it, don’t tell them something like, “It’s not working out now, but it might work out another time.” That would make them hopeful and wrongly so.
  • Waver
    Once you’ve made up your mind about breaking up and are absolutely sure, don’t change your decision. Your partner might convince you to give it “one last chance” but unless there’s any real reason why you should buy that argument, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns.
     

Have you got something to add to the list? Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Facebook.

Do…

  • Do your homework
    Know why you’re breaking up. If your partner isn't expecting this piece of bad news, you'll have to end up doing a lot of explaining. Plus, it will also give you a great opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and find out if a break-up is what you really want.
  • Do it in person
    Tell your partner the bad news face to face, not over email, SMS, telephone or Skype, unless the situation absolutely demands it. Meeting them in person before the relationship ends will offer closure, which is psychologically important to move on.
  • Do it in a place that’s comfortable for your partner
    A crowded restaurant with a lot of strangers around might be intimidating for your partner, when you're talking about such a sensitive issue. Pick a place that makes them feel safe enough to express their emotions.
  • Be prepared for the worst reaction
    Being dumped is perhaps one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. So don’t be surprised if your partner starts yelling, crying, arguing or just storms out on you. Handle the situation calmly, accept their reactions by understanding the feelings of hurt underneath them. 

Don’t…

  • Lie
    Be honest with your partner when you’re about to end the relationship. Tell them exactly what you felt was wrong in the relationship. This could be harsh but equally important for them to learn. It's only fair that they know where it went wrong.
  • Be cruel
    Break-ups are terrible by nature. Don’t go out of your way to make it more hurtful. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be vindictive and cruel. Try to word the truth delicately.
  • Be ambiguous
    Don’t leave your partner in doubt. If you don’t mean it, don’t tell them something like, “It’s not working out now, but it might work out another time.” That would make them hopeful and wrongly so.
  • Waver
    Once you’ve made up your mind about breaking up and are absolutely sure, don’t change your decision. Your partner might convince you to give it “one last chance” but unless there’s any real reason why you should buy that argument, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns.
     

Have you got something to add to the list? Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Facebook.

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