Aunty Ji
Love Matters India

I have made out a bit with my bf, can we go the full way now?

By Auntyji Thursday, January 25, 2018 - 10:11
Hi Auntyji, I am in Class X and my boyfriend is in class XI. We have made out a bit. Can we go the full way? Vinu, XYZ.

‘Auntyji says, Oh ho beta Vinu. You have put your Auntyji in asmanjas – and that means confusion. Let's solve it together.’

Grown-up choices

Puttar, sacchi gall is this that I want to straight away say – kudiye, wait a bit. I want to say, puttar, it’s a bit early! But beta I don’t want to say it also. Because the decision finally ought to be yours. After all, we adults keep telling you young people, ‘you are grown up now’, so we should allow you to make your ‘grown-up’ choices too, hai ki nahin?

Step up or back

So beta, one thing turned out fine. You have a sweet and decent boyfriend or so it seems. He is helping you to think about sex as opposed to rushing you into it. Chalo. Good boy. On the other hand, I am very sure your body is giving you all the signs – let's go further.

Maybe your love for him and this relationship is telling you – let’s take a step forward. All possible and very legit! Sach pooch to beta, I too don’t have a clear-cut answer for you. I can’t tell you what is right and what is wrong. But what I can tell you are a few things. Read and see if they gell.

A new expectation

First thing first – if you go all the way and have penetrative sex with him, then beta Vinu, everything between you and him changes. From being good friends and classmates, two people in love or with a crush, you suddenly become two people having sex and meeting with a single purpose – sex!

Now every time you meet, you feel you have to do it. You may do pretty much lesser but you do pack in the sex. Now that can get kind of boring – no? Abhi to you talk and have fun and hang out with each other and pals – whatever little time you get from studies to have fun. Suddenly all that changes and all you use that time for is – for having sex.

Bye -bye fun times. Bye -bye hanging with pals and the fun you had with him. Time to utna hee hai – there is a different kind of pressure operating. Once done, always to be done!

Getting addict to it?

Then the study angle will also undergo a change. I want to ask you – are you ready for that? Do you know beta that so many young men say they can’t focus on study and feel like doing masturbation all the time especially during the exams? Then they feel terrible about wasting time in doing it mixed with wanting it. It’s a release of tension and pressure and they think about it so much! The same applies to sex too.

You have such a burden to study and more so, to score big. You feel the exam and scoring pressure, you want a way out. And sex is one such way. Before you realise, you become addicted to sex and are continuously looking for that feel good sensation. That does impact your scores and your concentration to study a lot.

Get your reasons right

Consider just these two issues for the time being and make your decision. If you do decide to go ahead, beta, be very safe, very secure. Don’t rush it, don’t  do it under any maahoul of  fear or worry (someone will hear us, someone will walk in types).

Get your ‘Thirteen reasons why’ lined up us to why you are ready to go all the way. Make sure you tick off each. Remember Vinu, what you have now is lovely, lovable and beautiful too. Why not make that more fun and sexy for now and baaki we can review a bit later? What say you?

*Names changed. 

*Person in the picture is a model. 

How do you know you are ready for sex? Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments section or on our Facebook page. If you have a question, please visit our discussion forum.

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Comments
Rinkey bete, yadi yeh sex unsafe tha toh yes ismein pregnancy ke chances ho sakte hain. Iske liye phoren ek home pregnancy test lijiye. Phir kisi vishagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se milo aur dekho kya ho sakta hai. Iske illava aap FPAI clinic se bhee sampark kar sakety hai jiski jaankari aaapko iski website pe mil jayegi. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy https://www.fpaindia.org/ Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Anku bete, bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhi nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ab kya situation hain, Abhi beta? Kya unke periods aayein? ! Yadi unsafe sex ke baad bhee unhe periods ho chuke hain toh ismein pregnancy ke chances na ke barabar hai. Phir bhi yadi aap aur safe hona chahtey hain to ek Home pregnancy test kar leejiye aur stithi nischit kar leejiye. Kripya aaj ke baad condom ka nirdharit upyog keejiye, apne liye aur apni partner ke liye. Yaha padho zara: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Saath hee kisi visheshagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se bhi jaldi mill lijiye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
So aap yeh ke rahe hain ki yoni se penis touch hua par virya nahi laga tha - aur kya usse veh pregnant ho saktee hain? Sahi? Na ke barabar chances hain Beta. phir bhi aur zyaada sure hone ke liye - taaki aap dono relax ho sakein - aap is kriya ke 10 din baad yek home pregnancy test bhi kar lejiye - baat saaf ho jaayegee. Pehlee baar sex mein bade ""loche"" hote hain - chinta na keejiye. yeh link padh leejiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Na ke barabar chances hain Beta. phir bhi aur zyaada sure hone ke liye - taaki aap dono relax ho sakein - aap is kriya ke 10 din baad yek home pregnancy test bhi kar lejiye - baat saaf ho jaayegee. Pehlee baar sex mein bade ""loche"" hote hain - chinta na keejiye. yeh link padh leejiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sex se koi nuksaan nahi jab tak ki wo safe sex hai, yaani poori samjhdaari dono logo ki sehmati aur safety ke sath kiya gaya sex ho. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/news/safe-sex-dos-and-donts https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/condoms https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/using-condoms https://lovematters.in/hi/news/using-condoms-dos-and-donts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-dos-and-donts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Pregnancy confirm hone par jaldi se kisi visheshagya ya achchhe panjikrit doctor se miliye aur dekho kya n sakta hai. Agar jyada time nahi hua hoga to aap MTP ki maang kar sakte hai, kisi bhi clinic mein.Kisi bharosemand doctor ki rai leejiye aur kisi neem hakeen ya chemist ki baaton mein bilkul mat aa jaaiye – DOCTOR ONLY. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy Iske alawa aap FPAI clinic se sampark kar sakte hai jiski jaankari aapko issi website pe mil jayegi. https://www.fpaindia.org Time mat gavaiye, jaldi keejiye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Mera gf 21 saal ka vagina bohut chota hai...sirf ek finger jata hai ander aur pain b bohut hota hai...auntiji usse kaise sex karu....woh dard se roti hai...kaise penis ander daal ke tod du
Bilkul bhi nahi, puttar! Ye betartibi na karna. Dard hone ka ek sabse mehtvpurn karan yeh ho skata hai ki apki partner sex ke liye theek tarah se tyyar hi nahi hui hon. Bete yeh baat bohot achhe se samjh lo aap ki sex kare ke liye dono hi partners ko tanavmukat hona bohot hi zaruri hai! Aur dono ka taiyyar hona mentally, physically, emotionally bhi bohot zaruri hai. Ho sakta hai unhe koi darr ho ya doubt, yeh bhi ki woh pregnancy se darti ho ya society se? Jo bhi ho shayad woh abhi tayyar nahin, pehle yeh sab baatein clear karo aur phir sex ki planning. Sirf ek person ready hai aur doosre nahin, so phir toh koi maza nahin na? Aap samjh rahe hain na mera matlab? Isliye make sure ki apki partner in sab cheezon ke liye tayyar hui hain. Zara yeh padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-can-i-please-my-wife-bed Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Is baare mein yaha padiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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